


Ember to Ember

by AnnaFugazzi



Series: Volunteers [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:13:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 50,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27611183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaFugazzi/pseuds/AnnaFugazzi
Summary: Sequel to Volunteers: from one Beltane to the next.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Series: Volunteers [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1711579
Comments: 36
Kudos: 24





	1. May

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to Volunteers, written for the livejournal community hds_beltane. Trust me, it really won't make much sense if you haven't read Volunteers.
> 
> This was written pre-DH, so it's somewhat non-compliant with DH. You can still make it fit if you squint and tilt your head sideways (and pretend the word Epilogue never graced a single dictionary), except for the fact that Fred Weasley is very much alive.
> 
> Thanks millions to scrtkpr, for wonderful beta.

**_Date:_ ** _May 2  
_ **_From:_ ** _hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
_ **_To:_ ** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie_  
_Hi,  
__The Ministry wants me to file a report on the festivities; do you want to get together to discuss that?_

 **Date:** May 2  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
Sure, sounds good.

**_Date:_ ** _May 2  
_ **_From:_ ** _hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
_ **_To:_ ** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
__Is Friday night all right, maybe around 7? Alec would like it if you brought Ben too._

 **Date:** May 3  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
See you then.

* * *

** May 4 **

"You're going to stay too, Dad?" Ben asked as Draco helped him out of his bath.

"Yes, I'll be there. You'll go play with Alec, and I'll be with Harry."

"What are you going do?"

_'Hopefully, also play,' is not what you want to say out loud._ "Talking about Beltane," Draco said, drying Ben off and avoiding the newest scab on his knee.

"But isn't it over now?"

"Yes, but we have to write a report on it."

"Why?" Ben asked, his voice muffled by the towel Draco was rubbing over his head.

"Well, the Ministry wants to know if everyone behaved all right, if anyone let the Muggles see things they shouldn't."

"Did they?"

"Not much. Most people behaved pretty well. Here's your underwear."

"Did I behave?"

"Yeah, you were good. It would've been better if you'd stayed put when I went to talk to those witches who were trying to use Muggle cameras, but you didn't go very far. Here's your trousers."

"They were pretty funny, weren't they Dad? Imagine getting angry that the pictures didn't move!" Ben giggled as Draco helped him into his trousers. Draco smiled.

"Can I play for a long time?"

"Probably."

"Can we stay for dinner?"

"Erm. I don't know."

Draco pulled Ben's jumper over his head, irritated at his own uncertainty and ridiculously jittery nerves. Were they staying for dinner? How long did Harry expect them to visit? And what would they do, once they were done with Beltane? The report excuse was pretty flimsy, seeing as how there really hadn't been anything of note other than an accidentally dropped dungbomb and the stupid witch who'd turned an old Muggle man's cane into a snake. Oh and the incident with the goat that ate a Portkey, which he was sure the Aurors had reported already.

He sighed, only half-listening to Ben's chatter as he finished dressing him, then went to get changed. Like this was a date, instead of a work-related meeting and opportunity for their kids to play together. Not that different from the last few Beltane meetings they'd had, if Draco was honest with himself. He hadn't dressed up, necessarily, but he had taken just a bit more care than usual with his appearance.

Hm...Muggle or wizard clothing? Blue or grey shirt?

"Dad? Can I bring my Gameboy?"

"Ben, remember it's a magical household," he said patiently. "Electronics won't do well there."

"Right," Ben said, disappointed, and turned to put his Gameboy away, wincing as he banged his knee. Draco reached for his wand.

"Come, stand still and I'll fix that for you."

"What if Mam asks how it got better?"

"Your mum didn't see you scrape it," Draco reminded him absently, concentrating on the small scrape and grateful he'd obtained permission to use magic for healing spells; amazing, how many small injuries children got.

Maybe he and Harry could talk about that. Adventures in parenting. How... romantic.

Of course, they might do more than talk. And if they did - unlikely, considering the kids would be there, but possible - what would they do? What did Harry want from him? It had seemed pretty straightforward Beltane night, but now...

Harry had invited him over, Draco reassured himself. Told him to bring Ben. There had been nothing in his e-mails that suggested he was thinking about what had happened Beltane night, but if Harry had regretted their actions in the cold light of day, he wouldn't have suggested getting together for the report, let alone asked Draco to bring Ben along. Right?

Beltane night. Draco sighed, his mind going back to that night, as it had been doing rather obsessively for the last three days.

God, those kisses had been incredible. After thinking about Harry in his arms for so long, the reality had been much better, because reality tasted like Butterbeer - Butterbeer! - and smoke from the Beltane fires, and held the possibility of so much more. Reality tasted like anticipation and pleasure and throwing caution to the wind, reaching for something he wanted, as he hadn't allowed himself to do for so long...

And as much as he'd forced himself to remember that he had responsibilities, that he shouldn't jump to conclusions or imagine a future of any kind, his libido was way, way ahead of him. That night, he'd been just about ready to come, right there in front of the Beltane fires, with Harry's hair spilling over his fingers, the small sound he'd made in his throat, the way he'd moaned... and it was so hard to forget that, so hard to ignore the way his body felt every time he thought of that night. How he'd felt that night, hours later, driving into Dublin exhausted and putting Ben to bed and still unable to go to sleep without taking care of the aftereffects of those embraces. And then he'd still had vivid dreams, both nights after that, and it was just-

Draco blinked, registering that Ben's permachatter had paused and that he was looking at Draco expectantly. "Sorry, what?"

"When will Mam be back?" Ben asked. "Does she know we're going to visit Harry and Alec?"

"Erm, I don't know. You know she went to negotiate that contract in Kerry."

"I want to tell her about Beltane. I want to tell her I'm going to see Alec again. Are you going to date Harry? She wants you to."

Draco sighed. "Ben, this is... a difficult situation. I'd rather not talk to your mum about it yet, OK?"

"Are you dating Harry?"

"I'm not sure."

"How can you not be sure?" Ben frowned, puzzled. "Mam's always sure when she's dating someone."

Yeah, for the entire week it usually lasts, Draco thought to himself, and pushed his glasses up nervously. "It's hard to tell. We're just friends right now."

"Like me and Alec?"

Draco hid a smile. "Sure." Right. "Now go get your shoes and off we go."

Just friends.

Or not. The one thing he was sure of was that he did not want to be just friends with Harry. He wanted... he wanted everything. The whole package, Harry in his bed, in his life, Butterbeer, magic, Kara off his case about finding a steady man, and Ben happy with all of it and miraculously untouched by any controversy.

And he was terrified of the entire package. Discovery. Being rejected. Getting hurt. Ben getting hurt.

Of course what his brain - and other parts - kept focusing on was not safety, or the future, or bad publicity, or whether he could by some miracle actually have some sort of meaningful relationship for once in his life. No, it was sex. A lot of sex. Because with any luck, he might end up _having_ sex, sometime in the foreseeable future. With a wizard. After a distressingly long dry spell, it was too much to hope that he _wouldn't_ be thinking about it all the time, like a pathetic randy teenager instead of a college music professor and father of a five year old boy.

So he was thinking about it, and dreaming about it and waking up with stained sheets. And he kept thinking that this was different from anything he'd experienced before, damn it, so bloody different, because this time it mattered; this time was two years after the last time he'd had a man in his bed, because the physical release he found with Muggles was too empty without some kind of connection.

Of course if he hadn't been a pathetic sap who decided to forego perfectly acceptable Muggle blokes for two years, maybe he wouldn't be so nervous contemplating becoming intimate with somebody he cared about, because that somebody was pretty much a virgin as far as men were concerned, and would probably be looking to Draco to bring some experience to the table, and...

And, sadly, Draco didn't have much experience either. Two bouts of brilliant but somewhat abbreviated frantic sex with Theo Nott before leaving Hogwarts, then five Muggles who'd briefly shared his bed, let him top, given him some rather spectacular blow jobs and taught him to do the same. Never spent the entire night with a lover. Never bottomed.

Harry probably thought Draco knew what he was doing. Sorry, not even close.

That could prove awkward. There was no question of telling Harry, but...

Maybe he should skim through a few of his Wicked Wizard magazines and actually read the articles in there; maybe they could give him some ideas...

* * *

"Hello, Ben - Alec's in the-" Harry began, but Ben had already scurried off to Alec's room, with barely a wave in Harry's direction. Harry and Draco smiled at each other.

"Doesn't waste time," Harry said.

"Doesn't waste a moment," Draco said. Harry looked a bit hesitant, and Draco figured he did too. Because how, exactly, were you supposed to greet somebody with whom you'd developed a cordial working relationship, three days after you'd had your tongue on his tonsils?

Harry drew a little closer - but whatever he was going to say or do was spoiled by Alec running into the front hall.

"Draco look! Look! I'm going to audition for a choir in London!" he yelled, waving a piece of paper at Draco and pulling him towards the living room. Harry looked nonplussed for a moment before he smiled at his son.

"All right, go ahead and tell him," he said good-naturedly. "I'll get the report out," he told Draco, going to the dining room table.

* * *

"So, that should be it, then," Harry said some time later. They'd been at it for about an hour, chatting casually about the events of Beltane in meticulous detail while adroitly avoiding any mention of what had happened at the end of the day. It was nice. Comfortable, mostly. Also a little nerve-racking because Draco kept wondering what he should be doing or not doing, saying or not saying... and now Harry was sealing the report, and putting the report away, and really, there was nothing else to say that wasn't casual.

Harry got up. "I'll go put this away - d'you want tea or something? I've got some stuff from Diagon Alley." He headed for the kitchen and Draco followed him and stood at the doorway for a moment to gather up his courage. He swallowed hard, suddenly quite sure that somehow this had all been a mistake, a misunderstanding, because they were right back to what they'd been before Beltane; polite acquaintances and possibly friends. And the conversation he'd had with Ben - not to mention the thoughts he'd been having lately - seemed terribly presumptuous.

The boys' voices sounded very far away as Draco came closer to Harry. Not sure what he was doing, just knowing that somehow he had to reassure himself that what they had now was not just a tentative friendship, but a continuation of what they'd begun on Beltane night. Startled a bit as Harry jerked slightly, looking up at him with apprehension in his eyes. Draco moved back slightly, barely having time to register his dismay before Harry moved towards him.

"Sorry," Harry murmured, and they both laughed a bit as they bumped into each other. Harry swallowed nervously. "Caught me by surprise, that's all."

Draco moved closer, feigning confidence he didn't feel, and let himself relax as Harry bridged the distance between them and their lips met.

Oh, that was all right, then. He breathed deeply, enjoying the scent of Harry's cologne, some kind of woodsy scent, and drew his hands through Harry's hair. Smiled as Harry cupped his cheek and their tongues met, and it was warm and comfortable and just a bit, erm, stimulating and... who knew how long the boys would be occupied, but maybe they could just keep doing this as long as they were-

"Daddy!"

... bugger.

"Alec lost his Snitch!" Ben cried as the boys raced into the kitchen, and Draco knew _exactly_ how Alec felt.

Draco and Harry moved away from each other and Draco surreptitiously adjusted himself, catching Harry's grin as he saw the gesture and smiled ruefully. He waited patiently, thinking of icicles and cabbage soup and Dolores Umbridge to get rid of the uncomfortable tightness in his pants, as Harry retrieved the toy Snitch, reminded Alec of the rules for playing with it (playroom door closed, thank you very much) and gently led him back down the hall.

It was probably a good thing they'd been interrupted, Draco thought as he waited. They should probably go slowly. Not a problem; he had been celibate for two years, and Harry had been more or less celibate for four and a half years - longer, if his wife had been like most women at the end of her pregnancy - and they could probably wait a little while longer.

Finally the boys were back in the playroom, hopefully occupied for the next little while, and Harry came back to the kitchen with an expression on his face most appropriate for talking to a Healer about an embarrassingly placed boil.

"I, erm, think maybe we should talk about, er, this, before - erm, we should talk."

Draco sighed. "We probably should, yeah. Better now than later." He ran a hand over his hair nervously. Bloody hell, if it wasn't for Ben... he felt annoyed at his son for a moment before bringing himself up short. Bad enough that he was pursuing this insane attraction in the first place; to resent Ben because he had to be careful doing so was ridiculous. 

Harry cleared his throat. "You said, at Beltane, that you needed this to be discreet. Is this all right? You and Ben here, nobody else needs to know?"

Draco nodded. "I'd like to see where this goes, but I really can't afford to be out about it. This has to be kept secret, as much as possible. For Ben's sake. I can't make news, and he can't be near me in public too much, or he'll be recognized if I do make news."

Harry frowned. "You didn't mind people seeing you with Alec and Ben at Beltane."

"Ben doesn't look like me, and I was there in a very low-profile position. You know there weren't very many wizards there, and most of them had no idea who I was. Kara was there too, keeping Ben out of trouble for a lot of the day, so I doubt many people even noticed he was there with me."

"Fair enough."

"Have you talked to Alec about being discreet?"

"I didn't need to say much. He's realized it's not a good idea to talk about..." Harry hesitated. "Erm, about you." Draco raised his eyebrows. "There were... things said about you. By the Weasleys. Before Beltane, when they found out I was working with you."

Draco winced. "What did you tell him?"

"I told him we weren't friends at school but that people changed, and I said some people didn't realize you'd changed." Harry looked extremely uncomfortable. "I said some of them had their own reasons for feeling the way they did about you."

"Like Bill Weasley?" Draco guessed.

"Erm, no. He knows we volunteered together, but hasn't said anything about it. I'm not terribly close to him, but we do work together. I don't think it would be fair to just ignore his feelings if we..." he trailed off and looked away. "And it's not just him, either. The Weasleys... they're my family, as much as anybody can be. Ron reminded me of that."

"Of what?"

"That I'm an honorary Weasley for life."

Draco winced again.

"Yeah, I told him that might be reason enough for you to decide not to get involved with me," Harry said with a slight smile.

"I take it he knows?"

"That I'm attracted to you, yeah. So does Hermione." Harry looked like he wanted to say more, then thought better of it.

"What did they think?"

Harry shrugged. "They weren't happy."

"Were you surprised?"

"Well, no. I mean, it would've been nice if they had approved, but it's hardly surprising they didn't."

"D'you think we should be discreet around the boys too? To avoid Alec saying anything he shouldn't to the Weasleys?"

"I don't think there's much point," Harry said wryly. "Remember, they figured this out before we did."

"I did tell Ben that I didn't know if we were dating."

"Oh." Harry blinked. "Erm... well, I'd like us to."

_Merlin_ , so would I, Draco thought fervently, firmly squashing down the desire to touch Harry again. Pull him close, breathe in his cologne, taste his lips - he could almost feel the imprint on his body of what they'd been doing when the boys interrupted them, and he wanted so much to - no. _Talk first, grope later_. Hopefully. He forced an even tone on his voice. "Not sure you can really call it dating, if you never go anywhere."

"Never?"

"I'm serious about that. No going out in public, except to Muggle places. I'd also rather not have anything personal in e-mails or owls."

Harry raised his eyebrows.

"It's not paranoia if there really are people watching you," Draco said evenly. "My parole officer has permission to read my mail. He does so, regularly."

"Don't Aurors have some kind of code about what they can and can't reveal?"

"Yes, they do. Many of them also hate the Malfoys. I don't particularly want one of them to forget his professionalism and send a little note to the Prophet."

"But... you are allowed to date, aren't you?"

"Of course. But I'd still rather they not get wind of it. It's not that we're doing anything wrong, and if you were anybody else, I doubt anyone would care. But you? That's a very different story."

He thought for a moment about explaining that twice a year he was obligated to undergo Veritaserum questioning about his activities and to submit a report to his parole officer detailing any significant personal developments in his life... but that wasn't for a few months yet. Who knew whether this would even be an issue then.

He took a deep breath, forced the words out. "You know... this is probably going to be a lot of trouble. It would probably be a lot simpler to just back away." He waited while Harry mulled it over, quashing his own nerves, knowing he really couldn't blame Harry if he chickened out.

"I know what it would be like to _not_ pursue this," Harry said slowly. "I've spent four years not pursuing anything. I didn't die when Ginny did, you know. I've mourned her long enough."

"You could find somebody else."

"I'm not terribly enthused at the prospect, believe it or not. Besides, it's hard to date anybody when you're a single parent."

"You're not serious; there must be hundreds of witches who'd take you and Alec in a heartbeat."

"I won't date a woman again."

"Wizards, then," Draco said impatiently.

"Probably. None I could trust."

"And you trust me?"

"I do," Harry said simply.

"A lot of people wouldn't understand placing any trust in me."

"I'm not a lot of people." Harry cleared his throat and seemed to brace himself again. "And speaking of trust. Erm. I, I told you a bit about that I've never - other than Ginny, I haven't really, erm. I don't have much experience."

Draco nodded.

"That... doesn't bother you?"

"No. I haven't been with anybody for a while, either. What about the two Muggles you were with?"

"Didn't go too far. I didn't even know their names." Harry sighed. "It... it was good. I mean, I knew I wanted to be with a bloke, but I didn't know if - you know, if it would be too different, or what."

"I take it the Weasleys know you're bisexual?"

"Yeah, of course. For years."

"How did it come up?"

Harry chuckled. "Erm, Ginny made some comment about Lance Poffle-"

"The Puddlemere Chaser?"

"Yeah, and I guess I was a bit over-enthusiastic agreeing with her. They all started looking at me funny. Ron made some comment about me fancying Poffle, I mentioned his crush on Viktor Krum, things got a bit tense, then I said something like, 'So what if I do fancy him?' and Ginny said, 'Hermione, you owe me a Galleon.'"

"What?" Draco laughed.

"They'd actually had a bet that I liked to look at other blokes. My best friend and my _girlfriend_. A bit embarrassing, that was." Harry chuckled again and shrugged. "I knew it wouldn't be a big deal to them. Charlie Weasley's gay, out since second year; nobody cares."

"Wasn't he Gryffindor Quidditch Captain?"

"Oh yeah, nice lean Seeker's build, too," Harry grinned. "That fueled a few fantasies, believe me, when I met him."

"I bet."

"Hermione really approved of how the wizarding world seemed a lot more blasé about that kind of thing than the Muggle world."

"I can imagine," Draco said grimly.

"Bit of a shock to you when you came to live here?"

"Bit of an understatement. The tizzy these people get into based on whose pants you want to get into. It's baffling."

"Yeah, I remember my cousin used to tease me by implying all sorts of things. Once I'd found out the wizarding world couldn't be arsed to care, I just found it amusing."

Draco chuckled. "Wish I could've seen it that way. Not that it's that big a deal at the college, or with most of the people I spend time with. But Kara's family - her father, actually - are incredibly unpleasant."

"Really?"

Draco shrugged. "I'm used to it. It's just a matter of being discreet."

"I suppose so. Like being in the wizarding world?

"Pretty much."

Harry hesitated, then spoke in a rush. "What if you do come back to the wizarding world? For real, and not just for Beltane?"

Silence.

"Do you want to?"

Draco hesitated. "Yeah," he said reluctantly. "Ben really wants to as well. I was thinking of getting to know some of the local wizards. At Brigid's Cross - that's Dublin's Diagon Alley-"

"Yeah, I've been there. Nice shops."

"And then once I know them a bit better, maybe bring Ben in. That way people will get to know him. I haven't really worked out all the logistics yet, but publicity can't be part of it. And," he gazed steadily at Harry, "you can't be part of that. Not publicly. You know what somebody like Rita Skeeter would do with this story. The Boy Who Lived and a Death Eater? It would be front page."

"I know."

"I don't want Ben to find out like that. I suppose I'm looking to keep him safe as long as possible."

"Well what if we put a glamour on you or something, if we're out somewhere-"

"We can't," Draco interrupted.

"What?"

"I can't. I can't hide who I am, I can't hide my Dark Mark, or change my name, or move away, or anything like that. You can, and so can Ben, but one condition of my parole is that I live with my name and face and Mark forever. On the British Isles. Nothing I can do about it."

"That's... that'll put a strain on things when Ben's older. If he gets in Hogwarts."

"I know."

"D'you think he will?"

Draco shrugged. "He's got some magic. Don't know just how much yet, unfortunately. He's made a few things move, made a few lights pop when he was angry. And Kara gets a bit suspicious by how well he can find things sometimes."

Harry smiled slightly. "Yeah, Alec's done some things like that. It's nice, though. I'm so glad he can do all of that without being punished for it."

Draco frowned, wondering who on earth would think to punish a child for magic. Harry's expression didn't invite questioning, though, and he moved on. "You know, it's odd, I'd never really thought about the logistics of having a half-blood child, especially one raised by a Muggle mother with no idea of magic. I've no idea what I thought Muggle-born children did. It's been eye-opening, to say the least," he said dryly. "I feel like I'm flying blind half the time."

"You know, you can't be unique in this. There's got to be other parents of half-blood children who could help you figure some of this out."

"I don't know any."

"Well Hermione's got some experience growing up in a non-magical house. Of course she didn't have to hide it, but she's done a lot of work with half-blood and Muggle-born kids. She might..."

Draco kept his face blank, searching for a polite way to say _Are you completely mental_ , but none presented itself.

Harry cleared his throat. "Or not."

"Erm, probably not."

"Yeah, she's a bit busy with the baby."

"Yeah."

Harry put a hand on his arm. "If this works, though... you know you'll come into contact with her. With her whole family." Draco looked away uncomfortably, acutely aware of Harry's hand on his arm. Harry paused for a moment, then quietly said, "Do you think, since this is sort of a date, that anything more than talking would be appropriate?"

They slowly drew together again, and Draco smiled. This felt better. Much better. He kissed Harry deeply, smiling as Harry moaned and immediately flushed.

"Sorry. 'Sbeen a while," Harry murmured, a bit embarrassed.

"What, since Wednesday?" Draco teased.

Harry rolled his eyes. "This is new for me, all right?"

"I know. For me too," Draco said, and leaned in again. Oh, Merlin, that felt good. So bloody good, and it was just horrible that the kids were right down the hall, liable to interrupt at the most inopportune moment, because right now what he wanted more than anything was to run his hands through Harry's hair and do something, anything, other than simply kiss.

"Mm," Harry moaned, pulling him closer, and they gave themselves over to their impulses, Harry's heart beating fast against Draco's just as it had the other night. Harry's fingers caressing Draco's face, his lips teasing, tongue slipping into Draco's mouth, and Draco shivered with pleasure. He choked back a cry as Harry moved to the side of his neck and did something with his tongue that sent sparks through Draco and made him tighten his hold on Harry's shoulders. And he would've felt embarrassed at how quickly he got hard from just a little tongue, except he was much too hard to feel embarrassed. He groaned, fingers skittering over Harry's back, body pressing against him, wanting as much contact as possible - Harry was hard too, they pressed together, Draco's back digging into the counter behind him, Harry's thigh between his own, impossibly warm, he was aching to undo Harry's clothes-

Bloody hell, he'd better think of something unarousing to bring things down a bit or before he knew it he'd be trying to bend Harry over the counter.

_He's a step away from bending you over the nearest rock and taking you without lube,_ Kara had said at Beltane, and that image was certainly not helpful.

"Dad!" Ben yelled breathlessly, and Draco and Harry broke apart hastily as he ran into the kitchen. "Alec says that he's done some magic before! Can he do it now?"

Draco contemplated hitting his head against the wall in frustration at the sudden distance between himself and Harry, and startled a bit as Harry put a hand on his arm before turning to Ben. Harry was flushed, and his chest was heaving slightly, but his voice was remarkably steady.

"He can't just do it whenever he wants, Ben. Most people can't control their magic until they're a bit older."

Alec had followed Ben into the kitchen. "I told you," he said. "Daddy's got a friend who even thought he was a Squib for the longest time."

"Longbottom?" Draco asked. He realized Harry's hand was trembling a bit and covered it with his own, squeezing it slightly.

"How did you guess?"

"I have a talent for spotting the shockingly obvious."

Harry chuckled.

"What's a Squib?" asked Ben.

"It's somebody who doesn't have magic. Even though their family's wizards." Alec cocked his head to the side, gazing at Harry and Draco. "Were you kissing?" he asked curiously.

Draco abruptly felt sorry for Kara and her many girlfriends and reminded himself of what she had said many times: at some glorious age, children stopped being innocently curious about public displays of adult affection and became intensely embarrassed at the mere thought, avoiding it if at all possible. Draco would've cheerfully killed for a spell to bring the boys to that stage of development _right now_.

"Yes, we were," Harry said, his tone casual despite the almost maroon flush on his skin. "Would you mind going back to your room, so we can continue?"

"OK. Let's go back to the Snitch," Alec said, and the boys ran back out.

Harry took a deep breath. "I think maybe we should actually get that tea I mentioned. And sit down. On, erm, opposite sides of the table."

Draco laughed shakily. "Good idea."

Harry turned to the cupboard, taking out a carton of tea. "I don't suppose you'd be up for trying this again some day when the boys are at someone else's house? Or maybe just heavily sedated?"

Draco chuckled. "Yeah, I can probably be talked into that." They exchanged a wry grin and settled down to tea.


	2. June

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks millions to scrtkpr, for wonderful beta. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

**_Date:_ ** _May 8  
_ **_From:_ ** _hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
_ **_To:_ ** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
_ _Alec would like to invite Ben over this weekend.  
_ _By the way I sent in our report to the Ministry. They were impressed, and want to know if we'd like to volunteer next year too._

**Date:** May 8  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
This weekend sounds good. Saturday afternoon?  
Do they want a firm answer re. volunteering? It's not until next year.

**_Date:_ ** _May 9  
_ **_From:_ ** _hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
_ **_To:_ ** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
_ _Saturday afternoon is good. No, they don't need a firm answer. I think they're just curious._

**_Date:_ ** _May 14  
_ **_From:_ ** _hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
_ **_To:_ ** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
_ _Ben left his Pokemon cards here on Saturday. Should I send them by Owl?  
_ _Did you get the Liaison Office survey?_

**Date:** May 14  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
I'd rather not use Owl post; confuses the Muggles. Ben would probably prefer it if Alec brought the cards over himself. We've got a concert Saturday; would Sunday work?  
I got the survey. Do they put Cheering Charms on the parchment?

**_Date:_ ** _May 15  
_ **_From:_ ** _hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
_ **_To:_ ** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
_ _Sunday's good. The survey was remarkably peppy, wasn't it?_

**Date:** May 16  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
I can't be sure but I think it chirped at me.

**_Date:_ ** _May 21  
_ **_From:_ ** _hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
_ **_To:_ ** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
_ _Alec told me he invited Ben over next weekend, but unfortunately he'll be at the Burrow overnight Saturday for a birthday party. This is probably why four-year-olds are hardly ever hired as social conveners._

**_Date:_ ** _May 23  
_ **_From:_ ** _hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
_ **_To:_ ** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
_ _Birthday girl has dragonpox. Party postponed._

**Date:** May 23  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
Dragonpox? That's rather dangerous if you don't catch it right away. Ben's in Limerick with Kara. Next weekend, Friday?

**_Date:_ ** _June 3  
_ **_From:_ ** _hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
_ **_To:_ ** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
_ _Next weekend is a bust, I'm buried in work._

**Date:** June 4  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
I've got three extra rehearsals then anyway. And Kara's away too.  
Buried in work?

**_Date:_ ** _June 5  
_ **_From:_ ** _hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
_ **_To:_ ** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
_ _Security troll hexed with a nasal congestion curse. Don't ask. Next weekend, the 15th?_

**Date:** June 10  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
Sorry, playdate's off. Ben's with Kara this weekend.

**_Date:_ ** _June 11  
_ **_From:_ ** _hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
_ **_To:_ ** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
_ _Just as well; Alec's finally going to the sleepover._

**Date:** June 12  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
Too bad. Maybe next weekend. Hope Alec enjoys himself.

* * *

**June 15**

Harry swore volubly in Gobbledegook as his quill blotted ink across yet another parchment. He bit his lip, then remembered there was no reason not to swear if he wanted to. No curious little ears would hear him; no curious little voice would ask, "What's that mean, Daddy?"

He rubbed his forehead distractedly, wondering for the fiftieth time this week why the hell he was still working with goblins. Most of the time the job was interesting and challenging, and he very much enjoyed doing work that used his brain after a childhood spent mostly relying on his guts and instinct. But some weeks, like this one...

It had been Minor Disaster Month at the London branch of Gringott's. The nasal-cursed troll had been the least of their worries, and _Merlin_ the meetings they'd suffered through. Mostly held by a goblin pair who were like an unholy cross between Binns at his most pedantic and Snape at his most sarcastic. Sninns and Bape, he and Bill called them under their breaths. Harry had taken great comfort reminding himself time and again that he and Alec did not, strictly speaking, _need_ the income he earned from Gringott's.

Happily, the fires seemed to have finally died down, and he was almost done catching up on the week's regular work. All he had to do was figure out a simple curse to set on this stupid goblet - always goblets, because of course why _wouldn't_ one want to turn drinking implements into lethal objects - but he was having a bit of a time trying to concentrate.

And why would that be? He glanced at the clock. Almost time for Draco to show up. He looked back at the goblet, said the incantation under his breath to practice it, and promptly dropped the goblet as it started to shriek. Damn, it was supposed to glow, not scream. More Gobbledegook swearing, followed by _Silencio_.

He glanced back at the clock. All right. Best put the goblet away before he accidentally melted it. He was in no shape for rational thinking.

He was slowly going insane, was the problem, with the glacial pace he and Draco were taking in this odd relationship they'd embarked upon. It had been a wonderful but incredibly frustrating few weeks, because they couldn't go out anywhere, and their kids were always underfoot, frequently interrupting them with their curious questions and little-boy-crises and occasional spats. Including actual fights, which neither Harry nor Draco had much experience dealing with, what with both having been only children. Well... Harry had been raised with a pseudo-sibling, but all his sibling rivalry with Dudley had involved Dudley beating the shit out of him with his parents' enthusiastic support. Harry didn't particularly want to duplicate that kind of dynamic in his own son's life.

So it had been a slow burn of frustrated decorum and embraces that never went far enough to satisfy Harry. The farthest they'd gone was some heavy petting and a couple of very quick hand jobs. And one memorable occasion when Ben was at Kara's and Alec was asleep, and Draco had gone down on Harry and had reduced him to a quivering wreck with his skill and enthusiasm and apparent absence of any gag reflex.

"That was..." Harry had panted as he finished shuddering, hanging on to the kitchen counter for dear life, Draco still on his knees, looking up at him with a very satisfied expression on his face. "Oh, God, that was... that was-"

"Daddy!"

Harry had almost literally jumped out of his skin at the wail from down the hall, and contemplated for the first time Stupefying his son. Instead he'd hastily buttoned up his trousers and hurried to Alec's bedroom to deal with a nightmare. By the time he'd come back to the kitchen, Draco was sitting at the table with a fresh pot of tea and a rueful smile on his face.

"Just be grateful he wasn't sleepwalking," he'd said, and snickered at Harry's shudder.

And it wasn't just the lack of opportunity to get physical; the constant need for discretion with the outside world was wearying as well. The near code-like nature of their e-mails, maintaining a façade of casual acquaintanceship for the sake of their children's friendship, was getting tiresome.

Harry put the goblet away and wiped his hands on his trousers. Alec was at the Burrow tonight, Ben was with Kara, and he and Draco were going to be here all alone, and then... who knew what would happen?

He glanced at a picture of Ginny on the wall, wondering what she would have thought of him moving on like this. She would've wanted him to find love and companionship, he knew, for himself and for their child, not stayed numb and alone for the rest of his life. That's what he would've wanted her to do, had he died instead. But would he have cared if she'd found that with someone he'd hated? Somebody like Draco?

All right, not Draco, who had almost no interest in the female gender. Someone else. Someone who couldn't even fill in the role of the parental gender Alec was supposedly missing.

Pansy Parkinson?

He shuddered. Ugh. Pug-nose Parkinson, near his child. Sleeping with his wife. Many men found the thought of their wife with another woman intriguing, but the image of Ginny snogging Parkinson was rather... _augh_. He sent a heartfelt apology to Ginny's memory for coming up with that mental image.

The clock had never moved so slowly, and Draco's penchant for lateness had never been so irritating. And the worst part was that he wasn't that late after all, it was only five past - and there was the doorbell.

He hurried to the door, and there was Draco, shaking soot from his hair and blowing ash from his glasses with a faint expression of distaste. Harry chuckled and took them from him, murmured "Verriclari" and handed them back to Draco sparkling clean, not a trace of ash.

"Haven't heard that one," Draco said, putting them back on and blinking at the sudden clarity of the front hall.

"Really? Dead useful spell. Hermione taught it to me."

"I'll have to remember it," Draco said, shaking the last bit of ash from his cloak.

"Weren't you given a list of glasses-spells when you got them?"

"I got them six years ago," Draco said, hanging up his cloak. "From a Muggle optometrist. Never learned any of the spells."

Harry nodded, glad he was slowly getting used to not blushing or feeling uncomfortable every time Draco's exile came up. "Can't you get your eyes fixed?" he asked, leading them into the living room.

"Nobody in the wizarding world I'd really trust pointing a wand at my eyes. Besides, I don't mind the glasses."

"I like the look on you," Harry said, smiling.

"Me too," Draco said wryly as they sat down, and Harry nodded. He could certainly see why - they changed his appearance quite markedly, made him look a bit less conspicuous among wizards, and his parole officer couldn't exactly object.

"So Alec's with the Weasleys then?" Draco asked.

"Yeah, for his cousin's birthday. Along with nine other cousins. The only one not attending is Ron and Hermione's youngest."

"He's still at the hospital?"

Harry smiled. "Joshua? No, actually. He was three months premature, but the hospital finally cleared him, so he's been back home for the last three days. Still needs a lot of care, though."

"All babies do."

"Yeah. If Joshua's anything like Alec at that age..." Harry shook his head. "I don't envy them the sleepless nights."

Draco grimaced. "Nor do I. That was a bit of a nasty shock, the first few times I had Ben overnight."

"Yeah, it's not easy. And I had house elves and all of the Weasleys helping me with Alec; I don't know how Muggles manage it."

"I do. For the first few months, I couldn't do magic at all. Had to walk up and down the hallway with him at all hours of the night, not stop my ears, not cast a muffling charm on him..."

Harry smiled a bit at the image. "They wouldn't let you do magic even for that?"

"No," Draco said shortly.

"Did you ask?"

"I wasn't going to, but after three weeks of colic, I did. They said no."

"Why?"

Draco shrugged. "I did the crime, I did the time."

Harry looked away. "Sorry," he said quietly, and changed the subject. "So, erm, Ben's with Kara tonight?"

"Yeah, all week. With Kara and her newest lifelong love. This one's a professional ventriloquist. Calls herself a Neo-Comminist and dabbles in particle physics, Scientolophy, and macramé."

"What?"

"Don't ask me, I've no idea what any of that means, except for the macramé. And somehow I don't think Muggles use knotted unicorn hair like my mother used to."

Harry chuckled, but his nervous anticipation was quickly becoming tinged with frustration. He had to confess he hadn't really thought of what to do with Draco when he got here - far too busy imagining them naked to plan out how they would get to that blissful cloth-free state - but this casual small talk, sitting close but not too close on the couch, was starting to get annoying. And he had no idea how they might get past it and go on to what he'd been thinking about non-stop for the last several days. It wasn't like they were women who needed time to get romantic...

Honestly, he'd expected Draco to be a tad more predatory.

All right, then. He'd have to take the lead. He shifted a bit closer and Draco's eyes widened slightly, and Harry could swear he could see Draco's pupils dilating. Oh yes. To hell with small talk.

"I've been." Harry swallowed and pushed on. "I was going to ask you if wanted tea. Or Firewhisky or a treacle tart, or something. But I don't particularly want to get you any of that, not right now." He marveled that somehow his voice didn't sound desperate and shaking from need, but low and almost seductive. Draco's pupils had dilated till his eyes looked almost black, and he licked his lips nervously, swallowing hard as Harry touched his arm and shifted closer.

"No? What would you rather do?"

Harry grinned in answer and got a mouthful of Draco as a reply.

Bloody hell, was _that_ all it took? Harry's felt a moment's annoyance at himself but couldn't hold on to it as they moved with lightning speed from hesitation and nervousness to heated snogging. Fleetingly he considered that it might be nice if tonight featured slow, romantic seduction, but suspected it would be a bit of a crashing failure if they tried. He wanted this too much, had been thinking about it and wanting it for too long.

They were finally together, with no thought of their boys, or their families, or their pasts, or anything other than want and need that went so deep Harry sometimes thought he'd scream.

They pressed together on the couch, no time for anything soft or nervous. The time for that was long past. This was heated and frantic, and Harry gasped as Draco's lips worked their way up his neck. Draco pushed him onto his back so he ended up half-reclining against the corner of the couch, his legs slightly parted so that they could thrust against each other, the way he'd been longing to do for so bloody long it was pitiful. Thank _God_ for the senior Weasleys.

Draco was opening Harry's trousers, reaching in, and he was doing the same to Draco, going from knife-edge desire and nerves to exhilaration in seconds. From arousal to near-climax in seconds. Draco was nibbling on his earlobe, and that felt so _bloody_ amazing. He grasped Draco harder, felt him jolt and cry out, pushing into Harry's hand and resting his head on Harry's shoulder, lower lip between his teeth, eyes closed, brow furrowed in concentration. He pushed up into Harry's fist again, losing the rhythm, becoming nothing but urgent need and God, he was so _fucking_ hot like this. Harry groaned as Draco pressed their bodies together, gripping him hard, melting him from the inside out.

Yes, yes, yes, his mind was chanting, and it was just sensory overload, the thrusting and the gasps and heat and Draco's low-key cologne and the clean smell of his hair and sweat and-

They cried out, reaching climax at almost the same time. He panted into Draco's neck, his heart racing, shaking in the aftermath. He had a vivid memory of the first time they'd done anything together, Beltane night almost two months ago, when he'd wanted nothing more than to thrust against Draco. And now he'd finally done it and it'd been a hell of a lot better than he'd imagined it could be. There was definitely something to be said for privacy with no fear of interruptions.

Draco's arms had gone around him and he was holding Harry close, breathing in the scent of his hair, mouth ghosting over his neck, then slowly drawing back, a suddenly shy expression on his face.

Harry dropped his own eyes. Those last kisses had felt so... intimate. He shook his head. How could a mere feathery touch of Draco's lips feel so much more intimate than what they'd just done?

Draco slowly drew back, and Harry murmured a cleaning spell on them both. Draco smiled as they buttoned up again. "Well. That was... direct," he said, and Harry grinned back at him.

"After how many weeks, finally having a flat to ourselves? Sorry, I'm not that patient."

"No, thank Merlin," Draco laughed, and stretched languidly, grinning at Harry.

Harry stretched as well, nerves singing with afterglow, and cleared his throat. "I'll, erm, get you that tea or Firewhisky or treacle tart now, if you want it," he said. Draco laughed again, running a hand over his hair and drawing Harry in for another, much slower, kiss, then stood up and pulled Harry up with him.

"Firewhisky sounds good," he said, and they headed for the kitchen.

"So Alec's with your parents-in-law for the whole night?" Draco asked.

"Yeah. Alec and nine cousins, including the birthday girl. They do this about once a month, for almost every single grandchild's birthday."

"That's generous of them."

"They love it," said Harry, pouring them each a glass and leading them back out to the living room. "They're very hands-on grandparents. Alec spends a lot of time with them."

"Must be nice."

"It is, yeah."

They sat down, close but not touching, and Harry felt the distance between them rather uncomfortably, not sure what to do about it. Wasn't it just minutes ago that they were groping each other on this same couch? He cleared his throat. "Does Ben spend any time with his grandparents?"

"I assume you mean Kara's parents," Draco said dryly. "No. Pretty much just Christmas and birthdays. Kara's got a sister too, though they're not terribly close. Her family - well, her father, really - doesn't approve of Ben. Or me."

"Why not?"

"He's got some issues with Kara's sexuality - and mine - and her religion, and whites in general. Not the friendliest bloke on the planet. He's all right with Ben, but not terribly affectionate. Kara doesn't bother visiting much."

"Have you met him?"

"Yeah, when Ben was born. I was at the hospital for a visit and in he came. Had a rod up his arse roughly the size of Cornwall. Really lovely chap."

"That's too bad." There was a pause as they both sipped their Firewhisky. Finally, Harry asked hesitantly, "What do your parents think of Ben?"

Draco's eyebrows went up. "My parents? They don't know about him."

Harry blinked. "What do you mean, they don't know about him? You are allowed to write to them, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

"Why wouldn't you tell them?"

Draco pressed his lips together. "Look, my parents are not a good topic," he said tersely, moving away from Harry slightly.

"I'm sorry," Harry said immediately, kicking himself for prying.

Draco sighed, lifted his glasses, and rubbed the bridge of his nose before taking a deep breath. "I... have no contact with my parents," he said quietly. "I've permission to write to them, and although they're not allowed anything in their cells most of the time, they are allowed to answer letters. I wrote them three letters after I was released; they never answered any of them, I don't know why, so I stopped writing. Ben came along a few years after the last letter I wrote."

Harry nodded. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Draco said. "Besides, I very much doubt they'd approve of Ben. In the old days, my father might have seen him as an asset - you know, showing we Malfoys aren't prejudiced against half-bloods, passing around pictures of him, then bundling him off somewhere as soon as he'd rehabilitated the family enough that I could marry and get a proper pureblood heir." He paused. "As the Malfoy family is effectively dead now, I doubt he'd see Ben as anything more than another symbol of how far we fell. So my son doesn't really have grandparents. Which is good, because in all likelihood the one thing they'd all be able to agree on is that they're ashamed of him." Draco shrugged. "C'est la vie."

Harry nodded. "He's got you and Kara, though. You both love him. That's all a child really needs. The rest is nice, but not necessary."

"You think so?"

"That's all I would've wanted at that age," Harry said bitterly, and Draco cocked his head to the side curiously. "Never mind, grim story. I just know kids need at least one person who cares about them, whether they're parents or grandparents or even godparents. That's one thing I swore, after Ginny died. I couldn't give Alec a mum, but he's got me and he's got family, lots of it. Plenty of people who love him, so he won't grow up feeling he missed something important."

"Ben's just got me and Kara. And Kara's friends - a lot of them. As well as a never-ending string of Kara's 'serious' girlfriends. And she has the nerve to tell me to find someone to settle down with."

There was a brief silence as the words "settle down with" floated uncomfortably between them, and Harry could almost sense Draco's discomfort at having said them.

"Has Ben ever asked about your parents?" Harry asked, tactfully changing the subject.

"He thought they were dead, actually. I found out right before Beltane. He said he just figured they were dead, since I never talk about them." Draco shrugged. "That probably says a lot right there."

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him I'd have to talk to him about them when he was a little older," Draco said quietly, looking away.

Harry drew a bit closer, hesitantly putting a hand on Draco's shoulder. He meant it as mere comfort, and was startled at the thrill that ran through him at the touch, and at the answering gleam in Draco's eyes. Bit of a shock, that, so soon after coming, but he wasn't about to complain. Draco put down his drink and drew nearer. They leaned into a kiss, and Harry semi-blindly put his own drink down. As they quickly became engrossed in one another again Harry stood, pulling Draco with him to his bedroom, grinning at the surprised, pleased expression on Draco's face. Fired up by the way Draco kissed him passionately as they stumbled to the bedroom and almost fell onto the bed together.

Draco drew back a bit, slowed down his caresses, obviously trying to go slow and gentle, probably out of consideration for Harry's lack of experience or the fact that he hadn't been with anybody since his wife died...

Harry didn't want gentle. He didn't want tender and slow and sweet, not this time; this time he wanted force and power and fucking, wanted to forget he was a tragic too-young widower who needed compassion and tenderness, and just take this wherever it led them, quickly, before he burned up.

"I don't want slow," he said urgently, starting to unbutton Draco's shirt. "I want you now."

"But-"

"I don't care if you hurt me."

"I-I've not-"

"You have done this before, right?" Harry asked, impatiently. "Get on with it, then."

Draco was staring at him, somewhat nonplussed, and Harry decided he didn't much care for that look. He pulled him in for an embrace, kissing him hard, needing Draco to feel his desire, his urgency. He pushed Draco back against the bed, latching on to his mouth and covering him, and noted with satisfaction Draco's surprised hiss and the distinct hardness through his trousers.

"But-"

"D'you want to or not?" Harry asked.

Draco laughed. "Do you really have to ask?"

"I've been thinking about this all day," Harry said breathlessly, undoing his own shirt buttons. "I-I couldn't concentrate at work, the bloody goblins were making me mental..."

"Been a long day for me too," Draco admitted, getting into it, _finally_ , reaching down to Harry's belt a split second after Harry reached Draco's, tugging it open, undoing their zips, and Harry gasped as they grasped each other firmly. Draco shrugged out of his shirt and Harry pulled him closer, reveling in the thrill of caressing so much bare skin, and finding that keeping his eyes away from Draco's Dark Mark wasn't nearly as difficult as he'd feared it would be.

"We've got all night, I know," Harry said. "But I don't want to wait all night. It's been so fucking long..."

Draco nodded hurriedly as they finished stripping and pressed against each other. Harry moaned as they finally touched fully naked, limbs entwining and mouths coming together hungrily.

This was something dreams couldn't do, simulate this intense heat between two people, and Harry groaned as they thrust against each other. He brought a hand between them, touching Draco and feeling him gasp.

"Wait, wait," Harry said breathlessly, drawing back. "No, it feels amazing, but it'll be over in a second if you keep doing that and I want-" he stopped for breath. No, no time for dignity. Draco knew he'd been deprived for a while. "I just want you inside me. Now."

"Are you sure?" Draco asked, his chest heaving. "I don't want to hurt you-"

"You won't, and even if you do I don't care," Harry said impatiently, handing Draco the lube.

Draco caught his breath, nodded, and pushed Harry back onto the bed. Harry gasped as Draco started slicking the lube onto him.

"Are you all right-"

"Don't stop," Harry said quickly. "Don't worry, I've done it to myself loads of times, it's just that-" _I've never had anybody else do it_ , he thought, but didn't say, because just then Draco found that spot inside him, and it was a miracle he didn't come instantly. He groaned helplessly as Draco kept stroking, and lights went off behind his closed eyelids. He reached down hastily. "Stop, I'm too close."

Draco moved up next to him, taking him into his arms. "How d'you want to do this?"

Harry opened his eyes, having a bit of difficulty meeting Draco's heated gaze. "I don't know..." he admitted, feeling unaccountably shy, considering what Draco had just been doing to him.

"On your side is probably a good idea - I mean, since you haven't-"

"Right." Harry turned onto his side and took a deep breath as Draco moved into place behind him. Draco made a questioning sound and Harry nodded, wordlessly giving him permission to proceed and barely suppressing a yelp as Draco slowly started to push into him.

Fuck, that hurt. He bit his lip, nodding tightly as Draco made a questioning sound, breathing deeply and forcing himself to relax, pushing back onto Draco until they were spooned together.

_Fuck_ that hurt. He breathed shallowly, trying to reach past the pain. Draco was going as slowly as Harry would allow him to go, but Harry wanted everything, and he wanted it now, and he couldn't wait for his body to catch up.

"Are you all right?" Draco asked, his voice trembling slightly.

"Yeah," Harry gasped.

"Hurt?"

"Burns a bit," he bit out. "Doesn't matter."

"Harry-"

"Doesn't matter," he repeated firmly, eyes still closed and not wanting to speak more than strictly necessary. "Move, please."

Draco moved. Harry caught his breath as the pain flared more strongly, his whole body on fire, and it didn't matter, because he wanted to not be able to feel anything but this. If it hurt, that was perfectly fine. He'd take pain over numbness any day.

Draco was breathing heavily and shaking, and Harry squeezed his hand. "Let go. Don't worry about me."

"I-I don't want it to be over too soon-"

"Shh," Harry said, amused that he was soothing Draco despite the fact that it was Draco who was making him feel like he was being split apart. "Let go. I want to feel you. I want you to come."

And then Draco was moving more quickly, and the burn was accompanied by sparks of pleasure as Draco hit that magical spot inside him again and Harry took himself in hand, hardening fully again. Moving with Draco as Draco sped up and gasped behind him. And it felt brilliant, but he quickly became irritated at the awkwardness of the position.

"No, I can't control this if-" Draco started to say as Harry maneuvered them so that he was on his stomach with Draco on top of him.

"I don't want you to control it," Harry said shortly, smiling as Draco shivered and thrust again.

"Oh, Merlin, I'm going to-"

"I know - me too," Harry gasped, and amazingly enough it was true, despite the lingering pain. This felt bloody fantastic, and he was-

His muscles tightened as he came, crying out, his climax triggering Draco's.

They lay panting together, and Harry didn't realize how tightly he was clenching Draco's hand until his own began to hurt.

"Are you all right?" Draco asked, gently disengaging from Harry, his lips moving softly over the back of Harry's neck.

"Yeah. God, yeah," he said quietly.

"I hurt you," Draco said hesitantly.

"I don't care." Harry turned around in Draco's arms, kissed him fiercely. "I didn't want you to be gentle. I wanted what you gave me." He felt an unexpected lump in his throat and turned away.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah, fine. You?"

"You took me by surprise, a bit," Draco admitted, sounding nervous.

"Yeah. Sorry." He kissed Draco deeply, trying to ride out the overwhelming emotions. The post-sex buzz, the sense of relief and gratitude, the way he felt like shouting for joy as Draco returned his kiss with equal fervor, and the feeling of...

What was it? It didn't go into words. Sorrow, maybe. Sorrow at having taken a final step away from Ginny. The only person he'd ever had sex with, the only person he'd thought he would ever have sex with... wasn't the only one any more.

He had no idea if Ginny would've approved of what they'd just done - rather suspected she wouldn't have - but it didn't matter. He pulled Draco close and blinked away the tears, hoping Draco hadn't seen them.

"That was perfect. Really." He kissed Draco again, glanced at the clock and smirked. "And look, it's only nine o'clock. Whatever shall we do with the rest of the night?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gobbledegook, in case anybody's wondering, is the language of goblins. I know swear words in half a dozen languages I don't otherwise speak; I figure Harry might be the same :)


	3. July

**Date:** June 16  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
Is Alec back from the sleepover? Ben was asking about him, seeing if he had a good weekend.

**_Date:_ ** _June 16  
_ **_From:_ ** _hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
_ **_To:_ ** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
_ _Alec had a great weekend. Lots of playing. How's Ben?_

**Date:** June 16  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
Also had a good weekend.

 **Date:** June 20  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
Ben hasn't seen his mum in a while so he's with her this weekend.

**_Date:_ ** _June21  
_ **_From:_ ** _hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
_ **_To:_ ** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
_ _Too bad. Next weekend, then?_

**_Date:_ ** _July 10  
_ **_From:_ ** _hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
_ **_To:_ ** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
_ _Another birthday this weekend, for Fred's son. I'll be there for the party, and Alec will be staying the night._

**Date:** July 11  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
Ben's with Kara this weekend anyway. Have fun at the party.

* * *

**July 14**

"No, it was _last_ month that was insane," Harry laughed, and nodded thanks to Ron as Ron distributed five ice-cold Butterbeers around.

"Didn't you lose a security troll?" Fred asked, leaning against the wall behind the Burrow and taking a bottle from Ron.

"Two!" said Harry. "One cursed with nasal congestion-"

"Don't ask," Bill said quickly, grimacing. "The other with hyper-psoriasis."

"And two vaults burned to a crisp," Harry said. "Both of them belonged to descendants of this old codger who died in 1827."

"Descendants?" Ron asked, and uncorked his bottle. Merlin, what a miserably hot day. He glanced back at the blissfully cool house, where most of the adults were gathered, and wondered once more why the five of them had volunteered to stay out here and watch the kids.

"As near as we could figure, one of his business rivals cast a curse on his seventh-generation descendants," Harry answered him. "You know, standard, 'And thence shall your heirs reap the Vengeance of Flaming Galleons,' so the moment this poor woman gave birth to the seventh generation, these two vaults just burst into flames!"

"We were lucky one of the vault-owners and the new mum had the same last name," Bill added, "or we'd never have figured it out. None of them knew each other."

"And thanks, by the way," Harry said to George.

"The c-counter-curse worked?"

"Yeah - and in case Bill didn't say this already, we don't really want to know how you knew that one off the top of your head."

George smirked and took a pull of Butterbeer.

"Hell-Money Curse?" Fred asked. George grinned and nodded.

"Oh and Fred knows it too. What a shock," Bill said sourly, and Ron and the others laughed. "Anyway, we weren't even done the paperwork on that one when we discovered a defaulting client had set a really imaginative curse on his personal hoard so the goblins couldn't collect."

"Regular day at the office, then," said Ron.

"Well that's what our newest curse-breaker thought," said Harry.

"It's her first month," Bill said. "Literally right out of Hogwarts, and she goes into the vault and nearly disembowels herself and an old security troll."

"Bad month for Gringott's trolls," Ron observed.

"So we go in," Harry said, "and realize the fastest way through is to use this magical goblet that was goblin-made but wizard-owned-"

"-which is _always_ a pleasure-" Bill put in. "We didn't try too hard to get the goblet, so the job took an three extra weeks and umpteen reports to explain. Ugh."

"You know, it's funny," Harry said. "I remember you told me once that you had goblin friends, and then you laughed and said something like, 'As far as any wizard can claim to have goblin friends.' I didn't get it at the time."

"I take it you do now?" Fred smirked.

"Too well," Harry said with feeling.

"Harry, dear," Ron's mum poked her head out the window. "Could you please give Arthur a hand in the kitchen? He's been mucking about with the Muggle dishwasher, and I'm afraid he's given it a nervous condition."

"I'll come too," said Bill, following Harry. "A curse-breakers' work is never done."

"Is Hermione done nursing the baby?" Ron asked Mum, as Bill and Harry headed inside.

"Yes, dear, and I'm so glad she went to the bedroom to do that; she's gone and fallen asleep, the poor thing."

"'Ermione 'as not 'ad sleep in a while, eet looks like," said Fleur, joining Mum at the window, her one-year-old in her arms. "She ees not lookeeng good."

"She has a very small baby," Mum said disapprovingly.

"So 'ave I, and two older ones," Fleur pointed out, flipping back her long, silvery hair and smiling at her youngest, who was sleeping peacefully in her arms. Ron, Fred, and George hid smiles at their mother's irritated expression, and glanced out at the yard instead, where all but the two youngest of the eleven Weasley grandchildren were playing happily, a riot of almost universal freckles and red hair. The older children seemed to be vigorously degnoming the garden, while the younger set played happily in the sandbox, staring with the rapt attention only three-year-olds can give to sand falling through a sieve. Ron smiled fondly as his own older son suddenly popped up with a gnome in his hand, and winced as the gnome bit him and Jason let out a few choice words. Good thing Hermione wasn't there to hear. Alec sat nearby on a tree stump, contentedly gazing at nothing and singing to himself. Something about being [taken away somewhere](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27817942/chapters/68103493), from what little Ron could hear over the yells of the gnome hunters.

George frowned. "Where's-"

"Frank? Under the hedge," Fred said, pointing as a small pair of legs poked out, followed by bits of grubby little boy as he crawled out. "I think he's trying to catch pixies."

"That's Graham."

"Frank."

"Shirt says G."

"I saw them switch."

"B-bugger." George glanced back at the house worriedly.

Fred laughed. "Demelza still threatening to write F and G on their foreheads in no-erase ink if they keep doing that?"

"I t-told Mum not to tell her about that."

"Serves you right, you know," Ron said gleefully. "Both of you. Mum and Dad are getting back for all the grief you two ever gave them."

"It's gone far beyond getting back, mate," Fred said with feeling, watching his daughter terrorizing gnomes and cousins with cheerful abandon.

"Michelle looks loads better," Ron said.

"Clean bill of health as of two days ago," said Fred, and Ron nodded. Michelle had finally recovered from a bad bout of dragonpox, but Fred and his wife were still a bit nervous about her. She didn't seem any worse for wear, though.

"I can throw the gnomes farther than you," she was bragging loudly to her cousins.

"No you can't," said Pierre, Bill's eldest.

"Can so."

"Can not. And you shouldn't throw them that way; Grandmum'll go mental if they land in her begonias."

"Not if we get rid of them before she sees them. Let's do a competition for who can throw them the farthest."

"All right, take aim and-"

"Let's do five each, then nobody can say it's a fluke."

"I don't have five."

"Remy, you and Jason dig and put them in this barrel. We'll need more help though." She looked around. "Alec, come here and help us dig up garden gnomes!"

The men looked over at Alec, and Fred sighed as Alec seemed to shrink a bit and shook his head.

"You have to! Come here!" said Michelle imperiously.

"I don't want to. I'm busy," he said, and Fred shook his head and started towards them. George put a hand out to stop him.

"She's not doing anything wrong yet," Ron pointed out. "And you know Harry wants Alec to learn to stand up for himself."

"You're not doing _anything_!" Michelle shouted. "Come and help!"

"I'm practicing a song."

"That's stupid."

Fred rubbed his forehead. "Is it just me, or do you ever get a real feeling of sympathy for Percy when she does this?"

"N-not just you," George said wryly. "Except Percy was n-never as cute as Alec."

"He also didn't have uncles to stand up for him if things went too far," Ron pointed out.

"He had Mum," George said.

"True enough."

"I learned a new song," Alec said to Michelle. "Do you want to hear it?"

"No," she said impatiently, and Fred winced at Alec's disappointed expression.

"Come here, Alec," Fred said encouragingly. "I'd like to hear your new song."

Alec beamed and approached his uncles, drew himself up and started to sing. Michelle marched over and broke in impatiently.

"That sounds stupid," she said scornfully.

"Michelle," Fred said warningly.

Alec was unfazed. "It's the harmony. That's the part that goes with the melody. You don't usually sing it on its own."

"So you don't even get to sing real songs? Where's the fun in that?"

"No, it's brilliant! It's loads harder to sing the alto line, and besides, Ben sings first soprano, so every time I see him we can practice together and he's got a brilliant voice-"

"Ben?" Fred frowned and Ron tensed, noting George's suddenly indrawn breath.

"Yeah! I told him to teach me that one because we're in different choirs, but then he said I could maybe sing in his choir for the next concert, and he asked his daddy and his daddy said yes even though it's a Muggle choir and it's brilliant! We're going to sing together! On stage and everything!"

Fred's lips were pressed together, and Alec suddenly stopped talking as if a switch had been turned off.

"Your friend's dad. Is that Draco?" Fred asked quietly, and Alec blinked at him nervously. "Never mind, mate," Fred said, sensing his unease. He patted Alec's arm and gave him a small smile. "I'm glad you're having fun at your choir."

"Draco's - he's - he's nice, he's changed," Alec said, his voice trembling a bit.

Fred's expression was carefully neutral. "Alec, it's all right. I'm glad you like your choir. D'you want to keep practicing your song?" Alec nodded, green eyes still wide and nervous. "Go on." He gave Alec a warm hug, bending down and murmuring, "Why don't you go practice near the chicken shed? Michelle hates chickens. You can sing your song for us later, all right?"

Alec headed off, and Fred straightened up and turned to Ron. "Harry's still in contact with Malfoy, then."

George looked away, and Ron took a deep breath. "Yeah."

"Are they dating?"

"He hasn't said so." Ron paused. "We think so, though," he finished reluctantly.

Fred turned and headed towards the house without another word. Ron and George exchanged an alarmed glance and hurried after him.

"Fred-" Ron began, following Fred as he pushed through the crowd in the living room and entered the kitchen, where Dad, Bill, Harry, and Fred's wife, Anne, stood around the dishwasher, which appeared to be sobbing.

"I need to talk to you for a moment," Fred said to Harry in a low voice, and Harry's eyebrows went up, but he followed Fred to the hallway. George hastily joined the group at the weeping dishwasher and feigned great interest in it, distracting Dad and Bill. Anne narrowed her eyes and watched Harry and Fred.

Harry glanced out the window at the backyard, worried. "Are Alec and Michelle-"

"I hear you're still in contact with Malfoy," Fred said quietly.

Harry stiffened and darted a glance at Ron, who shrugged helplessly. "Yeah. I never said I wouldn't be."

"What exactly does 'contact' mean?"

Harry's eyes narrowed. "Fred, this is none of your business." He turned to go back to the kitchen.

"We're not done," Fred said.

"Yeah, we are," Harry said over his shoulder.

"Don't you bloody well walk away from me!" Fred exclaimed, and Dad and Bill looked up at them in surprise. George crossed his arms and leaned against the kitchen wall resignedly.

"What's going on?" Dad asked.

"Are you going to tell them?" Fred asked Harry challengingly. "Or am I?"

"Fred, don't-" Ron began, glancing into the living room, where it seemed a few conversations were pausing as people noticed the raised voices in the kitchen area. "Do you want everyone else involved in this?" Ron asked, turning his back to the living room and keeping his voice down.

"Involved in what?" George's wife asked, entering the kitchen.

"Maybe we should," Fred said.

"Fred! Don't!" Ron said, his heart sinking.

"Why?" Fred asked. "You want to keep this in our little circle forever? You don't think Bill, at least, has a right to know?"

"Right to know what?" Bill asked, and Ron groaned. In the living room, all other conversation had stopped.

"What ees eet?" Fleur said worriedly, coming to the kitchen. "Are you keeping someteeng from us?"

"It's none of anybody's business-" Ron began.

"Actually, I think it is," said Fred.

"What ees eet?"

"I'm dating Draco Malfoy," Harry said quietly.

There was a shocked silence.

Fleur frowned. "Ees diss a joke?" She looked at Fred and George suspiciously.

"No," said Harry.

"I'll g-go keep an eye on the k-kids," George said abruptly and headed for the back door.

Fred made an impatient sound. "You're one of the people most affected by this. Alec's spending time with _Malfoy_. Do you want that? Knowing what his family's done to ours? To _you_?"

George gave him an unreadable look and walked out the door, quickly followed by his wife.

"Fred, leave them," Anne said quietly as Fred made as though to follow them. Fred stopped.

"Good move, Fred," Ron said in disgust. "Well done."

"You're dating... Malfoy?" Percy said weakly. "Draco Malfoy?"

"No, Lucius," Fred said impatiently. "Of course _Draco_ Malfoy."

"This is none of our business," Ron repeated.

"Excuse me?" Percy said, his eyes widening. "Harry's dating a _Malfoy_ and you think it's none of our business?"

"What's happening?" Hermione said, entering the kitchen with Joshua in her arms. She looked around at the silent gathering: Bill and Fleur looking hurt, Dad looking a little ill, Percy and his wife gobsmacked, and Mum, Fred, Anne, Harry, and Ron rather grim.

"Harry's just told us he's dating Draco Malfoy," Percy said heavily. Hermione sighed and went to stand by Harry and Ron, putting a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder, and Ron took the baby from her.

"Who knew about this already?" Bill said, his voice quiet.

Ron cleared his throat, keeping his eyes on Joshua so as to avoid the hurt look on Bill's face. "Me and Hermione. And the twins, and Anne and Demelza."

"And me," said Mum.

"And you all decided to keep it a secret?" Bill asked.

"We didn't think anybody else needed to get upset over it," Mum said.

"You don't say," Bill said softly. Harry rubbed his forehead, looking rather miserable. "How long has this been going on?"

"Since Beltane night," said Harry.

"What?! Zat ees two months!" said Fleur. "How deed zis 'appen?"

Harry rubbed his eyes under his glasses. "I had to work with him, remember, for Beltane. We got to know each other. I didn't think - I never meant to-" He stopped, took a deep breath. "He's not the same person he was before. I... he _gets_ Alec. Alec's happy, and... and I'm happy with him, and I'm sorry for putting people in a difficult position-"

"'Putting people in a difficult position'?" Fred asked grimly. "That's what you call this?"

"It wouldn't be a difficult position if you hadn't forced Harry to tell everybody, Fred," Ron pointed out, keeping his voice down to avoid startling the baby.

"Oh, you're right," said Fred. " _Much_ better for him to just keep dating Malfoy in secret for years until one day we all get wedding invitations and have to deal with it then."

"We couldn't hide this forever, Ron," said Mum. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to break Harry's confidence, but I have never been in favour of this relationship, and I think it's probably past time it came out into the open."

"Look, it's Harry's choice who he-" Hermione began.

"Excuse me?" Anne interrupted. "Draco Malfoy is responsible for what happened to Bill, and-"

"He was sixteen years old," Hermione said hotly. "And he was being threatened, and he didn't know Fenrir would be coming through that cabinet."

"No," said Anne, rolling her eyes. "He just thought a fat load of _Death Eaters_ were coming through. Who could've guessed they might throw in a werewolf too?"

"I'm sorry, but 'He didn't know' is not an excuse," added Percy.

"We're not saying it's an excuse," Hermione began. "But it's-"

"And he was in prison," Mum added. " _Prison_. And not wrongly convicted like Sirius was, either - in prison for good reason, along with both of his parents."

"How many years ago? And for how long?" Ron countered. It briefly crossed his mind that it was completely mental, defending Malfoy to his family... but it wasn't like he and Hermione could just leave Harry to stand against the entire Weasley clan by himself. Especially since Harry looked... well, 'beyond miserable' came pretty close to describing his expression right about now.

"I looked into his background when we first heard Harry was interested in him," Hermione said, her voice firm. "He's been watched constantly and has made no trouble at all. He works with Muggles, for Heaven's sake."

Ron suppressed a totally inappropriate smile at the way his dad very visibly struggled with the impulse to derail the conversation by asking Hermione to elaborate on that.

"His father cursed George," Mum said. "It took George _six months_ to get out of St. Mungo's. And he's still - he'll never be the same, he still stammers, he can't see well indoors without glasses-"

"You _know_ how George feels about that, Mum," Ron protested. "He's always said he figures he got away easy. And nobody minds the stammer, and George's indoor glasses let him see through walls and he has no end of fun with them." He glanced out the window, where George and his wife appeared to have organized a gnome-throwing contest with the children. George was holding one of his twins - Graham, to judge from the clearly marked G on his forehead - and cheering as Bill's middle son threw one in a long arc over the bushes.

"Besides, Lucius Malfoy is in prison for the rest of his life, and Draco has no contact with him," Hermione was saying as Ron brought his attention back to the conversation.

"How much contact do you and Alec have with Malfoy?" Bill asked Harry.

"We see each other every weekend," said Harry. "Most of the time he comes to visit with his son. He doesn't want any publicity, so we don't go out."

"That's charming," said Anne dryly. "This is what you're teaching your son, that being part of a couple means you need to meet in secret?"

Harry looked uncomfortable. "Look... I never bring him here, I don't invite anybody to our house when he's there, none of you ever have to see him. Why does it matter that-"

"He's around Alec!" Fred said.

"He understands Alec!" Harry shot back. "He understands how Alec's mind works, understands what music means to him! Do you know how rare that is for Alec?"

Fred bit his lip, and Ron wondered if he was at that very moment remembering the scene they'd just witnessed with Michelle.

"What do you want from me?" Harry asked the room at large. "Do you want me to stop seeing him?"

"That would be a start," Percy nodded. "Or at least keep him away from Alec."

"And if he doesn't?" Hermione asked. "What will you do then?" There was an uncomfortable silence. "Shun him, maybe? Not let Harry or Alec come to the Burrow?"

"Of course not!" Dad said, looking shocked.

"Don't be ridiculous," Mum said vehemently. "This is your home as well as it's anybody's, dear," she said to Harry.

"What about you two?" Hermione turned to Fred and Percy. "Would you not want to be in the same room as Harry, then? Refuse to come if he's going to be here?"

Fred and Percy exchanged a glance, and Harry cleared his throat. "Don't make me choose between you and Draco, please," he said quietly.

"Why? Which would you choose?" Fred asked challengingly.

"Do you have to ask?" Harry said. He stared at the floor for a long moment. "You... you're all the family Alec and I have," he said slowly. "I'm not going to jeopardize that for a bloke I've been dating for a few months, no matter how I feel about-" he stopped and looked away. "Look, all of you work this out among yourselves. Alec and I'll just go-"

"Dear, don't," Mum said quickly. "Stay, please. We can talk this out."

"I don't think so. If I stay I think a lot of us are going to say things we'll regret later." Harry glanced at Fred. "I know I will, anyway."

"Then at least leave Alec here," Mum said. "Don't make him miss the birthday sleepover."

"Fine," said Harry wearily. "I'll come get him tomorrow."

"Harry..." Dad said, and Harry turned back. "You're as much of a son to us as any of our boys," he said awkwardly, and Harry gave him a small smile.

"Thanks." Harry hesitated for a moment before heading to the backyard.

"Good move, Fred," Ron said. He looked out the window. Alec appeared to be telling Harry something important, and Harry was listening patiently and nodding. He looked up as George approached, and they exchanged a look as Harry gave Alec a goodbye hug and stood up to go. Then George said something that appeared to startle Harry before taking Alec by the hand and leading him back to the gnome-throwing contest. Harry stood watching them for a moment, looking bemused, then Disapparated.

"- no harm talking to Harry about it," Mum was saying. "Maybe if he knew how bad a choice we think-"

"Mum, he knows, all right?" Ron said impatiently, switching the baby to his shoulder as he started to fuss. "Hermione and I have talked to him plenty."

"You two have been playing cupid for them almost from the beginning," said Fred angrily. "I'm not sure what good it does to have you talk to him. The rest of us-"

George opened the back door and poked his head in. "Is it over? I s-saw Harry leaving."

"No, it's not over," Percy said, and George sighed and put on his glasses, coming back inside. "And for the record, I think Fred's right," Percy continued. "I'm not sure what we can do about it, but we can't just sit by and-"

"There you go, Fred. _Percy_ thinks you're right. Percy's behind you all the way on this." Ron was grimly amused at Fred and Percy's expressions; it was a toss-up which one looked more disturbed to find himself on the same side of an issue as the other.

"So what are you going to do?" Hermione asked again. "Demand that he stop seeing Malfoy?"

"Yes!" said Percy.

"And what if he doesn't?" Hermione asked.

"I won't be in the same room as Malfoy," Percy replied.

"Well then our work is done," Ron said dryly. "Let's tell Harry so he can break up with Malfoy immediately."

Fred cleared his throat. "Look. Harry had a long talk with me in May, where he told me he didn't want me to talk to anybody about this. Refused to answer when I asked him if he was dating Malfoy, and just told me not to tell anyone who didn't already know. So I didn't. The whole thing stayed between us - I've never even said anything to Lee or Angelina or Verity. But maybe it's time to change that."

"What do you mean?" asked Hermione.

"Malfoy doesn't want anybody to know about him and Harry. I happen to know Azkaban parolees are required to tell their parole officers everything, including what happens in their private lives. I doubt Malfoy's done that."

"You'd tell his parole officer?! Send him back to Azkaban?!" Hermione was incredulous, and Ron's mouth dropped open.

"I wish I could," Fred said grimly. "But as a matter of fact, I don't think that would do it. He's only required to report every six months. The last time was March, so he's not due until September. He's not technically in violation of his parole."

"You seem to know a lot about this," Bill said.

"We d-did some research," George said quietly. "L-looked up his Azkaban file."

"So why tell his parole officer then, if it won't do any good?" Hermione asked.

"His parole officer, or maybe The Prophet," said Fred. "Malfoy doesn't want publicity; if he gets it, he'll crawl back to whatever rock he's been hiding under and leave Harry and Alec alone."

Hermione was shaking her head in disbelief. "And you don't think it'll hurt Harry to be splashed across the front page of The Prophet? And what about Alec?"

"Malfoy doesn't have to know that we don't really want to do it," Fred pointed out.

"Blackmail, then," Ron said flatly.

"If you want to call it that," Fred said evenly.

"That's what it is," Hermione said, her voice cold. "And I can't believe you'd want to stoop so low."

"I can't believe Harry's stooped so low as to date Malfoy!" Percy said hotly. "He is being completely irresponsible!"

"You aren't sixteen any more!" Hermione said to Fred, ignoring Percy. "And this isn't like threatening to tell people about Ludo Bagman taking your money! This is a real person whose life you're threatening - _four_ real people, two of them small children who haven't done anything wrong!"

"I don't want a former inmate and _Death Eater_ near Alec!" Fred said. "Doesn't anybody else care about that?"

"Just because we don't want to resort to blackmail doesn't mean we don't care!" Hermione said.

"How is letting Harry bring Draco Malfoy into Alec's life 'caring'?" Percy asked.

"Harry's been lonely, Percy," said Ron. "Really, really lonely. You don't think that affects Alec too?"

"So he can find somebody else," Mum said, looking sorrowful but resolute. "We've all been encouraging him to date again for years-"

"And why do you think he hasn't followed up on any of the dozens of people we've thrown at him?" Hermione asked.

"I don't know," said Mum, "but surely there's somebody else who-"

"Maybe, Mum, but Malfoy actually makes him happy," Ron said, feeling a bit ill even as he said it.

"That's true," Bill said suddenly. "I've noticed it, even. He's a lot more cheerful at work. I'd wondered about it, actually."

"Yes, you said 'e was 'appier," Fleur said, nodding. "But... after what zat Malfoy boy deed to you? You don't theenk Fred 'as a point?"

Bill took a deep breath. "I don't think it's any of our business," he said. "If he's not bringing Malfoy here, and he's not living with him, I don't think there's much we can do about it. Not sure there's much I want to do about it. And I'm pretty sure I don't want to have anything to do with anything resembling blackmail."

Fred and Percy exchanged looks. "So... that's it?" Fred said in disbelief. "He's free to make his choices, free to raise Ginny's son near a convict, and everybody's happy?"

"Nobody's happy," Bill said impatiently. "I'm certainly not happy that Harry and I have worked together for years and he was keeping something like this from me. Doesn't mean I'm going to do anything about it." Fleur shook her head in disagreement but remained silent.

"George? Where do you stand?" Hermione asked quietly.

George shrugged. "I d-don't honestly care," he said. "Sorry, Fred, I don't. We looked up Malfoy's records, h-he's law-abiding now, and I d-don't care-"

"How can you just accept-" Fred interrupted.

"Because it's been years," George said firmly. "And it w-wasn't Draco Malfoy who cursed me."

"I happen to know Demelza disagrees with you on this," said Anne.

"G-good for Demelza," George said shortly.

Fred shook his head. "This isn't over," he said bitterly. "It's not over. The rest of you may be fine with it, but I refuse to be."

"So do I," said Anne.

"So you're willing to jeopardize a friendship because of who Harry's dating?" Hermione asked.

"Th-that's not fair," George said quietly. "You know Fred and Anne didn't mean it like that."

There was a long silence.

"Well. This has been very pleasant," said Dad heavily. "But I think we've all had enough. It's your son's birthday party, Fred. Let's get the kids and start on the cake and presents."

Fred shook his head and went to fetch his son, lips still pressed tight, anger radiating off of him, as the rest of them brought the cake and presents outside and cast cooling charms.

Ron felt a wave of resentment at Harry, who in all likelihood was off with Malfoy right now. He rocked Joshua gently and gazed at Alec, dreamily staring at the leaves above him and humming a tune to himself before Demelza picked him up and carried him to the area of the yard where the entire family had gathered. Alec winced as the out-of-tune Happy Birthday was sung.

Ron sighed as he glanced over his huge family, where every child had two parents. Even when he was here, Harry was always alone. And if he continued to see Malfoy, he'd never be anything other than alone among the Weasleys. Alec would never know what it was like to have his whole family in one place. He would forever be unique among his cousins. Not as bad as Harry's parentless childhood by any means, but Ron couldn't help being reminded of Harry as a child nonetheless.

Damn it, Harry, Ron thought wearily. Can you really live with doing that to your son? Why the bloody hell couldn't you pick a better person to fall in love with?


	4. August

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> scrtkpr, you're a totally awesome beta :)

**_Date:_** _July 30  
_**_From:_** _hjpottergringotts.wz  
_**_To:_** _malfoydglobalcafe.ie  
Alec's really looking forward to Brigid's Cross this weekend._

**Date:** July 31  
**From:** malfoydglobalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpottergringotts.wz  
Ben hasn't shut up about it in days :) 

**_Date:_** _August 2  
_**_From:_** _hjpottergringotts.wz  
_**_To:_** _malfoydglobalcafe.ie  
Bad news: we've still got the day to spend, but dinner at Hermione and Ron's in the evening. Yet another Weasley weekend event that just happened to get mentioned in front of Alec. This seems to be happening a lot._

**Date:** August 3  
**From:** malfoydglobalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpottergringotts.wz  
Don't worry about it. We'll see you at Brigid's Cross.

* * *

**August 5**

Ben looked around the music shop at the singing harps and self-playing pianos, amazed. Brigid's Cross, the wizarding shopping area in Dublin, was the single coolest thing Dad had shown him _ever_. It was like everything Dad had talked about was _right here_. Portraits that talked and sweets that threw themselves into your mouth and magical animals. There was magic humming in the air around him, and he held out his hand to feel it. It tickled a bit. Alec said he didn't feel anything, but Alec was used to magic. Dad said he knew what Ben was talking about. 

First had been the brightly coloured sweets shop, where licorice sticks danced and they had loads of the Chocolate Frogs Alec had shown him a long time ago, and they'd bought _ten_ of them. The wizard who ran the shop was brilliant, too. He'd laughed when Ben was scared because Harry blew a gum bubble and it turned into a bird, but he was nice anyway. He'd explained to Ben how the gum worked and then blew bubbles that came out like Ben wanted them to, like bears and foxes. And he'd helped Ben pick out singing sweets. It was weird that he didn't understand when Ben said he'd only ever seen sweets sing and dance in adverts on the telly, but he was all right. 

The only thing wrong with today was that there was so _much_ to see, but he and Alec had to keep waiting for Dad and Harry to catch up. 

Alec was showing Ben loads of things, like books that _really_ talked. They didn't just say a few words, like the farm book he had at Mam's house where if you pressed the pictures of animals they said moo or cluck or neigh and the farmer said "milk for sale" and "feed the chickens." They didn't just have moving pictures, like Beedle the Bard and Dad's other bedtime story books. These books actually answered questions. They told _jokes_. It was _brilliant_. 

Dad and Harry looked pretty happy, too. Dad seemed a bit nervous, but he and Harry were mostly smiling too. And they could even hold hands in public here. Ben had never seen two men or two girls do that outside - Mam said a lot of people, like Granda, didn't like to see that kind of thing. Sometimes she did it anyway, and most Muggles didn't seem to care, but Ben had seen a few people frown at Mam when she kissed one of her girlfriends. Here nobody seemed to care about Dad and Harry. 

It was a little weird that Ben and Alec and Harry didn't look like themselves, though. They were wearing little amulets that gave them different faces and bodies. It was funny, but sometimes it was a bit confusing because Alec didn't look like himself. He was blond and a little bit fat. And Harry had light brown hair and brown eyes, no scar, and he was a bit skinny. Dad had said he'd explain why they had to wear them some other time. 

Ben rather liked what he looked like right now. He'd tried on an amulet that made him ginger-haired and small - a bit like Alec, actually - and another that gave him short brown hair and blue eyes. He'd finally decided on the one that made him look like Mam's neighbour Mr. Sanjay, only small. 

Dad and Harry had talked about the amulets a lot - argued about it, actually, which wasn't terribly nice. Dad wanted Ben to wear one, but Harry had said a lot of things about how Dad had to let wizards get to know the real Ben eventually. They weren't fighting any more, though, and Ben was glad. Grown-ups shouldn't fight. 

Dad was showing the singing harps to Alec, and Ben was looking out the window and feeling a bit hungry, when Harry tapped him on the shoulder. 

"Ben, do you want to see the broom shop?" 

Ben's mouth dropped open. "Yeah!" he said. "D'you think I can get one of me own?" 

"Probably not today, but we can at least look at them." He turned to Dad. "D'you want to stay with Alec while I take Ben to see brooms?" 

Dad shook his head. "No, let's all go." 

Harry sighed. "Draco, it'll be all right. The owner of this shop knows you. Nobody else is in here. Come on, Ben's been here long enough, and he's not that interested, but Alec's been wanting to see the magical harps forever." 

Dad shook his head, and Harry sighed again. "Will you bloody well trust me? You've been to Brigid's Cross five times already; nothing's happened, what are the odds that something will while you're in here?" 

"I want you to be able to take Alec and Ben away quickly if you have to," Dad said with a quick glance at Ben. 

"We'll come back soon," Harry said, his hand on Dad's arm. "Come on. Please." 

Dad frowned but gave in. "All right," he said, giving Harry a quick kiss and ruffling Ben's hair as he and Harry set off. 

Why would Dad be worried? It wasn't like Ben was so small he couldn't behave himself. And broom sticks! And he was going to see a whole _shop_ full of broomsticks!! He ran down the street, pulling Harry along by the hand as Harry laughed and told him to slow down. 

The broomstick store was if possible even cooler than the sweets store. So _many_ broomsticks, so many sizes. And tiny toy people on broomsticks flying around the store! 

"What's that one?" Ben asked, pointing at a bunch of boys pressing their faces up to a gold-framed display case. 

"That's the Nimbus 3000," said Harry. "It's the best available right now, outside of professional-level brooms." 

"What's processional level?" 

"That's for pro _f_ essionals who play Quidditch as their job. Like football players." 

"Did you ever play professional Quidditch?" 

"Oh yes," Harry said, and smiled. "So did Alec's mum. She was a Chaser." 

"Was she as good as you?" 

"Erm, well she didn't do the same thing as me," said Harry. "It's hard to tell who's better when you're playing different positions. She was definitely a better Chaser than I was." 

"Wow. I didn't know she played Quidditch. Did she ever win anything?" 

"Our team won a lot of games but we never won the cup. She only played for four years though." 

"Why did she stop?" Ben asked, and giggled as a small toy flier whirled right around his head. 

"She got pregnant. It's not good to be flying around having Bludgers tossed at you when you're pregnant. We thought she'd go back after Alec was born." 

"Did she?" 

Harry shook his head, and it was funny how he suddenly looked like _himself_ , even though his face was different because of the amulet. He looked sad. "She died." 

"Was Alec small when she died?" 

"She died at the same time as Alec was born." 

"That sounds sad," Ben said, feeling sorry for Alec. Imagine, never having a mum. 

"Yeah, it was." 

"D'you still feel sad?" Ben asked curiously. 

Harry cleared his throat and gave him a small smile. "A bit. She's been gone a long time, but I still miss her sometimes." 

"Alec knows a lot about her," Ben said, looking at the tiny flyers again. 

"Yeah, we've told him a lot of stories." 

"Who's told him?" 

"Me and her parents. And her brothers. She's got six of them, you know." 

"Yeah! Alec told me! Can I meet them?" 

Harry blinked. "Erm. Well, you've met one of them. Remember Ron and Hermione? Ron was her brother." 

"That's the uncle that had the baby in the bubble, yeah?" 

"Yeah." 

"I've never seen a baby in a bubble. Can I?" 

Harry cleared his throat again. "Well, he doesn't need to be in the bubble any more. Look, do you see the little brooms in this case? These are toy brooms for very very small children. They don't go up very far, so that if a child falls off he won't get hurt. This one's for babies." 

"It's so tiny! Did Alec have one when he was little?" 

"Oh yes," Harry said, smiling. "He got a bigger one when he was two." 

"Did you have little brooms?" 

"Yeah, I had a baby one." 

"Did you like it?" 

"I don't really remember. I was very small." 

"Did you have the bigger ones?" 

"No," Harry said, looking a bit uncomfortable. 

"Why? Did you fall?" 

"No," Harry said, and started to point out different brooms. They were brilliant, all of them. One flew straight extra fast. Another let you flip upside down without falling off. Another turned really fast. And Harry explained how each one worked, answered all of Ben's questions, told him stories about Quidditch games. 

Coming to Brigid's Cross had been a _great_ idea. 

"All right, Ben," Harry finally said. "It's time to go back to your dad and Alec." 

"OK," Ben said, and they went back to the music store, passing by the sweets shop. His stomach grumbled. 

"We'll stop at the pub to eat after we pick them up, all right?" Harry said, and Ben couldn't wait. A wizarding pub. They'd probably have pumpkin juice. 

"Everything all right here?" Harry asked when they came back to the music shop, where Dad was holding Alec up to a set of windchimes. They turned and smiled at Ben and Harry, and then Alec squirmed to get down, running to Ben as soon as Dad put him down. 

"Ben! There's a singing potion!!" he said, very excited. "You have to try it, it's brilliant! It makes it so you can sing a whole lot of notes _at the same time_!" He dragged Ben to the shopkeeper. "This is my friend Ben and we're in choir together and can you give him the potion too please?" 

The shopkeeper smiled. "All right laddie, now I've told yer friend Alec this won't last very long; 'tis only the free sample. The bottle costs three Galleons. Now, all ye have to do is think of the chords ye want to sing in your head, right? Here you go." She gave Ben a tiny cup with a mouthful of clear golden potion that smelled like violets. Ben took a cautious sip. 

"It tastes like strawberries!" he said, and she smiled. 

"Think of the practice exercises we do in choir," Alec said, and Ben closed his eyes and concentrated. Not just on the scale the sopranos sang, but the seconds and altos as well. 

He opened his mouth and tried a note, and his eyes popped open. "It works!" he said. "That's _bri_ lliant!!" 

"Here, let's try [Pachelbel](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27817942/chapters/68104486), it's in four parts," said Alec. "You do the first soprano and first alto line." 

"But you don't sing second soprano," said Ben. "Or second alto." 

"I know them, though. Come on, let's sing." 

And it was incredibly fun, although Ben kept forgetting notes. Alec didn't. Alec was a lot better at this than he was. Which wasn't really fair, since Harry couldn't even really sing and Dad was great at it. But a few people had come into the shop, and they were smiling at him and Alec - real witches and wizards were smiling and nodding, Dad had his arm around Harry's waist and his chin resting on Harry's shoulder as they listened to Ben and Alec sing, and Ben was in heaven. This was just the coolest day _ever_. 

"Can we buy the potion, Dad?" Ben asked, and Dad smiled and nodded. 

"Oh Draco!" Alec said. "Maybe we can use it when we get back home - we can all take it and then practice [Beati Quorum! And oh Draco we can maybe sing Miserere and Lacrymosa!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27817942/chapters/68104486) And Daddy, you can sing one part, can't you?" 

"I'm not terribly good at singing, Alec," said Harry, laughing. 

Dad smirked at him. "Listen, with enough work even you can struggle through one part. I'll help." 

Alec wanted to try the potion again right then and there, but Ben's stomach chose that moment to growl rather loudly. 

"No, come on, little man," Harry said. "I think Ben's going to pass out from hunger. Let's pay for the potion and go." 

"Why does my voice sound funny?" Alec asked the shopkeeper as she put the bottle into a bag for them. "It doesn't sound like my voice. I didn't notice it when I was just talking, but I notice it when I'm singing." 

"Well if ye sing a part ye aren't used to, yer voice'll be higher or lower than normal." 

"No, I'm used to that. But it just sounds different." 

She looked puzzled. "I'm not sure. Are you under the effect of another potion or charm?" 

"No, but I'm wearing an amulet." 

"It's time to go, boys" said Harry quickly. "Say thank you to the shopkeeper," he reminded them. They left the shop and walked down the street to the pub. 

"Daddy, d'you think maybe my voice is different because of the amulet?" asked Alec. 

"Maybe. The amulet gives you the body of another person, and it might change your voice a little too. I hadn't noticed it," Harry said. "It's so much easier going in disguise like this. When I was younger, the only way to disguise yourself really well was to drink Polyjuice potion." He made a face. "Really, really yucky stuff." 

As they walked into a small alleyway, Ben took his amulet off and hummed. "There's me real voice again!" 

"Put it back on, Ben, please," said Dad. 

"This street smells awful," Ben said, getting the amulet caught on his collar button. "Why do we have to go here to get to the pub?" 

"A lot of wizarding places are like this," Dad said. "Rough outside, but inside they're quite nice. I've eaten here a few times." 

"Do they have pumpkin juice?" Ben asked, still struggling with the amulet. 

Dad and Harry smiled at each other. "Yeah, I'm sure they do," Harry said, and stepped aside for a witch and a wizard in tall pointy hats who were coming out of the building. The wizard glanced at Dad as he went past, walked a couple of steps, then stopped and turned and stared at him. 

"Malfoy?" the man said slowly. "Draco Malfoy?" 

Dad turned around, startled. 

"You're Draco Malfoy, aren't you?" the man said, frowning. 

Dad glanced at Ben quickly. "Yes," he said, and he sounded a little nervous. 

"What the fuck are you doing here?" 

Dad gave Harry a quick look, and Harry grabbed Alec and Ben, opening the door the couple had just come through. Ben tried to turn to look at Dad, but Harry's grip was tight. What was that man saying to Dad? And why was Dad just staring at the man, not saying anything? 

"Were ye no sent to Azkaban?" 

"I was let out seven years ago," Dad said quietly, and Ben started struggling as Harry tried to push him through the door. Something was happening to Dad, and Harry didn't seem to understand that Ben needed to be with him. That man was looking pretty mean, and he wasn't as big as Dad but he was a wizard, and Dad hadn't done a lot of magic for a long time, and who knew if the mean man was going to try to turn Dad into a frog or something- 

"Ben!" Harry said sternly. "Get inside! Now!" 

"No!" Ben said, struggling harder. 

"BEN! Your father wants you to go inside!" 

"That man's going to hurt me Da!" Ben cried out as the door shut behind them. 

"No he's not, he's just an idiot who's going to say some stupid things. Your dad'll be here in a minute." 

"I WANT ME DA!" Ben yelled, reaching for the handle, but Harry blocked him. Outside there were sounds of shouting. 

"BEN!" Harry said. "Listen to me. Listen to me!!" He paused and Ben stopped struggling. "I need to go outside and make sure your dad is all right. I can't do that if you're trying to get out. All right? I need you and Alec to stay here so I can make sure your dad's OK. I'll be right back. Can I trust you to stay here?" 

Ben glared at Harry. 

"Ben, I need to help your dad," Harry said, and Ben realized Harry was scared. A pain twisted his stomach. "Please promise me you'll stay here." 

Ben bit his lip. Dad needed somebody to help him, and Harry was a lot bigger than Ben was, and he worked with trolls and everything. He nodded, the twisting pain getting worse. 

Harry knelt and put his hands on Ben and Alec's shoulders, looking at them seriously. "Both of you stay here and keep each other safe. Be big boys for me and Draco, all right?" 

He went back out the door and Ben strained to hear what was going on outside. 

"What's happening?" Alec asked, his voice very tiny. 

"I don't know. I can't hear them!" Ben said, and the twisting got stronger. There was shouting, but he couldn't tell what was going on. Then there was a loud POP and Harry was back with them. 

"I'm taking you two to Ron and Hermione's," he said. "Don't worry about your dad, Ben, he'll be along soon. It's just a couple of nasty people out there being idiots, and your dad's not in any danger, but he'd like you two to get out." 

"NO!" Ben said, and the panicky feeling got stronger. He reached for the door again. "Me Dad's never been to Ron and Hermione's house! He won't know how to get there!" 

"Yes he will," Harry said, blocking the door. "Come on-" 

"NO!" Ben yelled, and then he was outside in the street again. He blinked at the sudden light, not sure how he'd got there. Where was he? And where was Dad? And Harry and Alec? 

Suddenly Ben recognized the building he was standing in front of and ran to the alley off its side. There was the couple he'd seen before, and they were both yelling about eating dead people and Azkasan, and Dad was holding his wand in front of himself but not pointing it at either of them and not saying anything. Then the woman spat on Dad. _Spat_ on him, with an angry look on her face. Dad's face went very pale and he wiped his cheek, but didn't say anything to her. Just looked at her while she screamed. 

"Filthy Death Eater scum!" 

"DAD!" Ben shouted. The woman turned around just as the door behind her opened and Harry came out. 

"Ben! Get back here!" Harry shouted. 

"DAD!!" 

"And who's this?" the woman said, looking at Ben and she _hated_ Ben - Ben had never seen her before, but she really _hated_ him. 

"The Malfoy family's not quite dead then, is it?" the man said, and took a step closer to Ben. Ben backed into Harry's arms. 

"Filthy fucking purebloods," the woman spat. "They should've castrated the lot of ye the minute they decided not to give you the Kiss like you deserved! Raising another little Death Eater, are you?" 

"No!" Dad hadn't said that - that was Harry, who had lurched forward and grabbed Dad's wand hand, pushing it down. 

"You can say whatever the fuck you want to me," Dad said fiercely, "but shut your mouth about-" 

"Draco!" Harry grabbed him, then turned to the woman. "Shut up!" 

"So that's yer son," the man said, glaring at Ben. "And you've the nerve to bring him here!" Ben stared at him in fear. He was like Granda when he said nasty things about Mam. 

"Call the others out here," the woman said. "This is too good to miss. A fucking Death Eater loose and bringin' his whole family here-" 

The man started towards the door, and Harry grabbed him. 

"No! Please, don't say anything about the boy, he's-" 

"This bastard was supposed to be gone for good," said the man, "not living his life as if nothing happened-" 

"He served his time!" Harry said. 

"He should still be in there! Two of me cousins are dead because of him! And now he's bringing up a new one? Bloody right I'm going to let everyone know!" the man's hand was on the doorknob now, the woman right behind him. 

"Obliviate!" Dad had waved his wand, so quickly Ben hadn't seen him do it, and the man and woman looked stunned, then puzzled. 

"DRACO!" 

Nobody was moving. The couple who'd been yelling at Dad were standing still and looking confused, and Harry and Dad were both breathing hard as if they'd been running. 

"Oh my god Draco what've you done..." Harry whispered, covering his mouth with his hand. 

Dad looked even paler, and waved his wand again and muttered something. Harry grabbed him. 

"What the _hell_ are you doing?!" 

"Calling the Aurors," Dad said, sounding very grim, and giving Ben a look. "No, don't stop me. It's the only chance I've got, they watch my wand, they're probably on their way already and-" 

Then there were two loud POPs and two more men in the alley, running towards Dad and grabbing his wand and talking very fast, and the fat one was holding a wand on Dad and the thin man grabbed Dad, and Dad looked like he was in pain. 

"DAD!!" 

"Ben, don't!" Dad said sternly. "Step back!" 

"You called us, sir, thank you-" the fat man said to Harry. 

"No! No, I didn't call you, he did!" Harry said quickly, putting his hands out and speaking very quickly. "I saw the whole thing, he didn't - he didn't start anything, he was just protecting-" 

"Sir, he's-" 

"I know who he is," Harry said, and took off his amulet. Ben blinked as Harry's hair darkened and eyes lightened and Harry's face became his own again, with its familiar scar. 

"Harry! NO!" Dad said. 

"Shut up!" Harry said to Dad before turning back to the fat man. "I was here. That man accosted Malfoy, then threatened to harm Malfoy's son. Malfoy was just protecting his son, he called you here himself, he's not a threat-" 

"Mr. Potter, you don't understand, he's no supposed to-" 

"Of course he's not supposed to, but he was only acting to protect his son. He tried to get out of the confrontation, didn't even react when the woman spat on him-" 

"He's just getting what he deserves," the thin man said, glaring at Dad, and Ben had never seen his Dad so white in his life. He was staring at the ground, lips pressed together, and Ben started to panic. Dad was scared. Dad was scared, and Dad shouldn't be scared, and Ben didn't understand _any_ of it. 

"Why? Because of what he did when he was a child?" Harry said angrily, and Dad shook his head urgently. Why wasn't Dad saying anything? Why was he just letting people say nasty things about him? Why was he letting them say that he deserved to have some mean woman spit at him? 

"Maybe you'd feel differently if you'd seen what I've seen, sir," the thin man said, "but me brother was almost killed by-" 

"Are you saying I wouldn't feel much sympathy for Death Eaters if I had lost someone I loved because of them?" Harry asked, and his voice was suddenly very quiet. 

The thin man looked a bit scared. "No. No, of course not, sir, but-" 

"Look, let him go-" 

"We've no the authority to do that, sir," the fat man said calmly. "Any breach of his parole sends him right back to Azkaban. He knows that." 

"But not permanently," Harry said. "I'll vouch for him. He didn't have much of a choice." 

"He'll have to come with us anyway." 

And then Ben was losing the thread of the argument, and the men were talking over one another and Dad wasn't saying a word. Ben drew closer to Dad, and the thin man pulled Dad back. 

"Please," Dad said, breaking his silence. "He's frightened." 

"Let Malfoy go," Harry said. "He won't bolt. He could've Apparated out of here if he was going to run. He was just trying to protect his child." 

"He wasn't looking out for the kid's safety," said the thin man. "He just didn't want them to tell his kid what kind of scum he is." 

"That's true," said Dad. "Partly." 

Harry looked at Dad in disbelief. 

"Harry, they're going to question me about everything under Veritaserum," Dad said heavily. "Including my motives." 

"Finally learned the value of being honest, did ye?" said the thin man. 

"Sir, please," Dad said to the fat man. 

"Let him go," the fat man said, and the thin man let go of Dad. Ben ran to him, and Dad knelt down, holding Ben close. Ben could feel Dad's heart beating very fast. 

"What's going to happen, Dad?" 

"I don't know, Ben," Dad whispered. 

Ben held on as the men argued over his head, and Dad was holding him a little too tight, but that was OK. More people popped in and out, somebody came to take the stunned witch and wizard away, a nice witch appeared and brought Alec to Ben and Dad, and there were so many words. Oblivate, excuses, Azkadan, minor infrashun, and handling the children, and Ben didn't understand any of it. 

Finally everyone was done talking. The fat man turned to Dad. "Sir, you'll have to-" 

"No - please, not in front of my son." 

"I'm sorry, sir," the fat man said. He glanced at Ben. "You know he won't remember anyway," he said kindly to Dad. 

Dad had tears in his eyes, and that was more frightening than anything could possibly be. Dad didn't cry. Dads just _didn't_. Except for the time Ben had made a chair move by itself. Dad had tears in his eyes then, but then he looked happy. This time, he didn't. He stood up, still holding Ben, and turned to Harry. 

"Harry-" 

"I'll take care of him," Harry said. "And you'll be home soon. D'you want me to take him to Kara, or should I-" 

"God, I don't know," Dad said, hugging Ben more tightly. 

"Come on," said the thin man impatiently. 

"Let him be," the fat man said. "He's coming soon enough. Let him say goodbye." 

"Kara's not even in Dublin this weekend," said Dad. "I don't know where she is." 

"I'll figure something out," said Harry. "He'll be all right. You'll be back soon." 

Dad nodded, and now Harry had tears in his eyes too. "Don't worry. I'll take care of him," Harry said again, and came closer, holding out his arms for Ben. Dad passed Ben to Harry, and Ben wanted to hold on, but the fat man gently peeled his hands away from Dad. Ben started to cry, and felt Harry's arms tighten around him. 

"Ben," Dad said gently. "Benny. You need to listen to me for a minute." Ben tried to stop crying and Dad gave him a small smile. "I'm going to be gone for a while." 

"How long?" 

"Not very long, I hope," Dad said, his voice shaking a bit. "Hopefully I'll be home soon. But right now I'm going to have to go, and you and Alec are going to have to listen to this man for a few minutes. Trust me, it'll all be a lot less scary if you listen to him. All right? Be big boys for us." 

"OK, Dad," Ben said, and tried to not start crying again. 

"Ben," said the fat man kindly. "I want you and Alec to listen to me really closely, all right?" 

And the man had a nice voice. A nice, pleasant voice, although not like Dad's. Reassuring him about Dad. Telling him everything was going to be OK. 

And it would be, Ben realized. It was a bit sad that Dad had got sick and had to go to the hospital, but he would get better, hopefully soon. Harry was going to take Ben to Mam, and he'd stay with her until Dad was better. It was just too bad that Ben wouldn't be able to visit Dad at the hospital because Dad was kintayjus. 

There was a small pop, and Ben blinked, confused. He looked up at Harry. 

"Can we go to me Mam now?" he asked, and wondered why Harry looked so sad. 

"Yeah, Ben, I'll take you to her soon. But you'll have to stay with me and Alec until she's back in Dublin." 

"Is this Brigid's Cross?" Ben said, looking around. 

"Yeah," Harry said. 

"Can we go see the shops one day? Dad said he'd take me," said Ben. "Only..." he frowned, a bit confused. "Only he got sick." 

Harry sighed and gave him a hug. 

"Maybe we can come back when Dad's better?" 

"Maybe," Harry said, and his voice sounded funny. "Now, we're going to take the Floo to Ron and Hermione's. They're expecting us for dinner. D'you remember the baby in the bubble?" 

Ben nodded. 

"Well he's not in a bubble any more, but he's still very small. Do you want to meet him?" 

"Sure!" said Ben. And he held Harry's hand as Harry led him and Alec to the Floo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is now an "Extra" attached to this chapter. It takes place immediately after the chapter, and can be found at [Ember to Ember Time Stamp Requests](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28875618/chapters/70834650).


	5. September

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> scrtkpr, you rock like a chair. Or a boat. Or some rocking thing :)

**Date:** September 16  
 **From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
 **To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
I'm home.

* * *

**September 16**

Draco idly regarded his reflection in the mirror as he brushed his teeth. Not bad. Thinner and looking tired - six weeks' incarceration and twenty-five hours awake could do that to you - but otherwise he didn't look nearly as haggard as he'd thought he might. 

He ran his fingers over the mirror, noting its pristine condition distantly. He was fairly sure he hadn't done a cleaning spell the morning they'd left for Brigid's Cross six weeks ago; must've been Harry, then. There were other signs of Harry's presence in the flat. It was comforting, Draco supposed. 

There were probably things he could and should be doing, things he should be thinking or worrying about, but for right now all he could handle were the basics. He'd showered, most importantly. Changed clothes, put on something clean and comfortable and _his_. Bought some food from the all-night store. Sent Harry an e-mail. And there wasn't really anything else to do, not at this godforsaken hour of the morning. 

He sat down, turned on the telly. It worked, which was nice. He'd more or less expected Harry would somehow ensure the basics of his life were taken care of during his absence - rent, heat, electricity - but Harry didn't live in the Muggle world, so he'd really had no idea what he'd be coming home to. 

Oh good, a re-run of Mastermind. Dull enough; perfect. He closed his eyes, drifting off almost immediately. 

He woke up suddenly to the clanging of his cell door as the guards opened it for lunch. 

No, not clanging. Knocking. Somebody was knocking at his door. He tried to ignore the pounding of his heart, pulled himself upright, and stumbled to the front door. 

Harry. 

They stared at each other for a moment before Harry gave him a tentative smile. 

"Can I come in?" 

Draco stepped back automatically, letting Harry into his home. 

"I got your e-mail. Are you all right? When did you get in?" 

"What time is it?" Draco asked, and his voice sounded hoarse from disuse. 

"Seven. I got your e-mail half an hour ago. Would've got here sooner, but Alec-" 

"I only got home two hours ago myself." 

Harry frowned. "You were supposed to be released yesterday." 

"I was. At 11:59." 

"Bastards." 

Draco shrugged, going into the kitchen. "D'you want tea, or-" 

"Sure, thanks. You look exhausted. You were traveling all night then?" 

"Pretty much." 

"How did you get home?" 

"They dropped me off in the Shetlands. I had to trade sexual favours for Portkeys to Ireland." 

Harry blinked. 

"Merlin, Harry, I'm joking," Draco said, annoyed. He found his Muggle kettle and plugged it in. "They only let me use Portkeys as far as Uisneach Hill, but they did leave me my wallet and credit cards." Mental note, he thought to himself: Do not attempt humour again this morning. 

"God, I'm sorry. I asked them to give me notice when you were released, but-" 

"Why would they?" 

"I've been involved in your case. A lot." He paused. "I'm sorry," he said nervously. "I know you didn't want anybody to know about us, but I had to-" 

Draco nodded resignedly and got out two teacups. "It's all right. I had to tell the Aurors during my questioning anyway." He got out the tea. "Would've had to tell them anyway at my semi-annual. Which was supposed to happen sometime this month." 

"Nobody appears to have let anything slip to the press, for whatever that's worth," Harry said carefully. 

"Good." 

"How much do you know about what was going on outside?" 

"Nothing. They don't tell inmates anything, Harry. It's not Muggle prison." 

Harry nodded. "I, erm, I got in contact with Kara when she got back in town," he said. "Told her you were in the hospital. She took Ben, except for a few weekends when she was working - I offered, by the way, she didn't ask. He's all right, although he's missed you. I contacted your work, told them about your 'illness.' You've only missed the first two weeks of term; they said it was all right. Paid your bills - the ones I knew about, sorry I didn't know your bank account information but-" 

"Where's Ben now?" Draco interrupted. 

"With Kara. They should be up - d'you want me to call them?" 

Draco shook his head, feeling numb. "Kara sleeps till nine most mornings." 

"She wouldn't mind, I'm sure." 

"Hospital patients aren't released first thing in the morning." 

Harry nodded. "We didn't know when you'd be back, they wouldn't tell us anything other than you were being released yesterday, but we-" 

"Who's we?" 

"Erm. Hermione, actually." Harry bit his lip. "She, erm. She's been involved in a lot of this. She's good at officialese and administration and a lot of things that rather baffle me." 

Draco nodded and poured their teas. 

"So. Erm." Harry seemed to take heart from the fact that Draco hadn't reacted badly, and Draco wondered if Harry had any clue just how little it concerned him that Hermione Granger had been involved in his affairs. 

Probably not. 

"So, I've told Hermione you're back, and it's all been arranged; she's going to pick up Ben from school at noon and bring him here. Kara and the school will be told something - forget what, Hermione'll know - so they won't worry." Harry stopped. "Does that... is that all right?" 

"Yeah, sounds good," Draco said, glancing at the clock. Noon. Five hours from now. Maybe he could sleep before then. 

"How... are you feeling?" Harry asked tentatively, and Draco was struck by the fact that, for the umpteenth time since they'd come back into contact, they seemed completely unable to figure out how to act towards each other. Funny how they seemed to keep coming back here. 

What now? Should they touch? Clasp hands? Hug? Kiss? 

He supposed most people coming back from being incarcerated would greet their significant other with a bit more effusiveness, but then again most people welcoming back their significant other would also be a bit more effusive...wouldn't they? 

He had no idea. And he didn't know what he wanted, either. But from the hesitant way Harry was acting, he probably wanted Draco to initiate... assuming he still wanted anything to happen. He reached out a hand and Harry immediately came into his arms, holding Draco close and sighing deeply. Draco closed his eyes, trying to ignore his slight discomfort and numbness. 

Harry kissed him, then drew back, touching his cheek lightly. "You'll be keeping the beard?" 

"I can't do magic," Draco reminded him quietly. "Without it you can see my scar from the war, and I don't want to explain why I suddenly have a facial scar when I've supposedly been in hospital for six weeks." 

Harry nodded. "I like it," he said. He gently pulled Draco close again, and Draco let him, too tired to really do anything else. He met Harry's mouth with his, closing his eyes at the familiarity of Harry's lips and scent, the warmth of another human being. 

It was as though words didn't fit here. And he didn't have any; he'd spent six weeks not speaking, and it was too difficult, with no sleep, and disoriented as hell, to figure out what to say. 

They moved to the bedroom with a kind of sleepwalking inevitability, and he lay back on the bed, pulling Harry close. Harry slowly kissed him, moving down his neck. Draco sighed, closing his eyes. Harry was being so gentle with him... and Merlin, this wasn't what he'd expected. He'd thought about this so much - there was little else to do in Azkaban - and he'd pictured angry sex, working out their frustrations; desperate sex, after six weeks without; awkward sex... nothing like this. 

He felt so... brittle. Nobody had touched him in six weeks; Azkaban inmates were untouchables, manipulated solely by magic. No warm hand in his, no fingers running through his hair, no hugs from Ben, nothing. As though he were too lowly to touch. 

Harry's touch felt odd, at once alien and soothing. As if he were trying to take away the stamp of Azkaban. Wordlessly running hands and lips and tongue all over Draco's body slowly, caressing him gently, holding him close. And Draco wasn't just grabbing whatever he could of Harry, as he'd often fantasized about at Azkaban. He was letting the long strands of Harry's hair spill through his fingers, noticing how the low lamplight made the silver through the jet black shimmer. Feeling Harry's chest rise and fall, tasting the hollow at the base of his neck again. Looking into his eyes and wishing he wasn't so fucking sleep-deprived, wishing he could somehow connect, somehow feel _real_... 

He lay back, parting his thighs and wordlessly showing Harry what he wanted, and Harry's eyebrows went up, but he nodded. And when, a long time later, Harry gently entered him, it all felt so surreal. The newness of the sensations, the cleanliness of his skin, the scent of soap and fresh sheets, the softness of the bed, the warmth of another human being moving over and in him... 

They were almost silent, moving with one another, and he had no idea what Harry was thinking, as Harry laced their fingers together and kissed him as deeply as he could considering their position. Draco blinked slowly, wondering at the dreamlike peace even as they reached for completion. He closed his eyes and dropped his head back on the pillow as the pleasure crested, and it was an oddly muted shiver and release, so different from the sharpness of climax he was used to with Harry. He felt Harry's lips on his neck for a moment before Harry gasped and tightened his hold on Draco, shuddering slightly and biting back a muffled cry. 

They kissed slowly, and Harry's hand on his cheek felt warm and comforting. Harry gently disengaged, and they lay together, their breathing slowing down, Harry's fingers idly playing through Draco's hair. 

"Go to sleep," Harry whispered. "Ben'll be here at noon." 

"Yeah," Draco said numbly, and watched as Harry dropped into sleep. He was always either ridiculously energized or worn out after sex. 

Draco didn't sleep. He'd been awake for so long it felt as though he'd forgotten how. Instead, he watched Harry sleep, looked around his bedroom, reminded himself that he was home. Really home. Where he'd half-believed he would never be again. After so many years of seeing Azkaban in his occasional nightmares, the reality of it was so familiar that some days he'd had trouble believing that he'd ever been out. It seemed like his life outside had been the dream, and Azkaban his only reality. 

His first day back at Azkaban, he'd nervously entered the courtyard where the inmates were allowed to congregate during lunch, dreading his parents' reactions. Father had just looked resigned and tired when he spotted Draco. Mother had smiled at him vaguely at first, then done what would have been a comical double-take in any other setting and fainted dead away. Father hadn't bothered to go to her; the guards were already disdainfully levitating her and taking her away. 

"You're back," Father had said, his voice hoarse and weary. 

"Not for long," he'd replied. 

"What happened?" 

"I violated my parole." 

"Why?" 

"To protect somebody." 

"I see." Father didn't seem overly interested. "How long will you be here, then?" 

"Six weeks." 

Father nodded. "That's not long. Then you're out again?" 

"Yes. Can't use magic for another three months, though." 

"That's not bad." 

"No, it's not." He paused. "Will Mother be all right?" 

Father shrugged. "I don't know. She's not well these days. We don't talk much." 

That had been an understatement, Draco had found. In fact, it had been almost impossible to talk to either of his parents. They'd spent most of their free hours in the courtyard sitting silently, watching the other inmates. Not a terribly interesting bunch. And half the time, Mother wasn't even there; apparently Draco's presence upset her, so she stayed in her cell. 

"Why didn't you ever write back?" he'd asked Father once. 

Father raised his eyebrows. "There was nothing to write about." 

"Really." 

Father shrugged. "The rats were particularly vicious the winter you were released. Your mother's robes got a hole at the back, and the guards refused to change or fix them. She spent every free outside hour leaning against the wall. Did you wish to hear about that?" 

"You could've said something about what I was doing." 

"Such as?" 

Draco shrugged wearily. "I don't know. Anything. 'I'm sorry it's hard to live in the Muggle world. I'm proud of you for trying to make something of yourself. You can do it.'" 

"I was sorry. I was proud. And I..." his father paused, frowning slightly. "I had faith in you, I suppose." 

Draco looked away. "Why couldn't you write any of that?" 

Father sat silently for a long time. "This place... this isn't any better than death," he said slowly. "You have a chance at a life. Your mother and I didn't want you to spend the rest of your days thinking of yourself as part of a family that was mostly incarcerated. We wanted you to start anew, as much as you could. When you wrote that you were trying to make your way in the Muggle world, there was nothing that we could say to help you. We had no advice for you. We had nothing to give you other than a tie to something that wasn't going to help you. Better to cut you off than have you holding on to something that would be of no use to you." 

"I have a son," Draco had said then. His father paused, surprise breaking through his weary indifference. Draco was somewhat surprised at himself. 

"What?" 

"His name is Ben. He's five. You're a grandfather." 

Father stared at him. 

"Do you want to know anything else about him?" 

A cautious nod. 

"He's very talkative. Very friendly. Does fairly well at school, though he's a bit restless. He has some magic; not sure how much yet. Although..." Draco had realized something. "He did Apparate spontaneously, so I suppose it's quite likely that he'll go to Hogwarts." 

Father nodded again. 

"He's very musical. Has a beautiful voice; his mother's a singer." 

"I thought you were gay," Father commented. 

"I am. And his mother's a lesbian. It's a long story." 

"Is she anybody I knew?" 

Draco shook his head. "She's a Muggle." 

Father had merely nodded, and they'd lapsed back into silence.

* * *

Time seemed to be moving in fits and starts today. It seemed as though he'd sat watching Harry sleep and thinking of Azkaban for days before Granger had shown up with Ben at noon. Then there had been a whirlwind of activity as Ben had run to hug him and cried happy tears and talked a mile a minute and Draco held him, closing his eyes and breathing in Ben's little-boy smell of dirt and finger-paint. Granger, who seemed to have become quite familiar with Ben, bustled about getting him some scones with raspberry jam, the type he liked the most, as Harry put Ben's things away. And there was too much movement, too much sound, too much colour, after the drab monotony of Azkaban. 

Now Harry and Granger were leaving, at Draco's request. Harry pulled Draco into the front hall. 

"This is for safety," Harry said as he gave Draco a small silver charm shaped like a stag, speaking softly so Ben wouldn't hear them. "Hermione arranged it with the Aurors. Since you're not allowed to do magic to defend yourself, you can carry this with you - in your pocket, on a chain, whatever you want - and whenever you tap it, it summons your emergency contact. That's me. Use it any time; if you tap it twice that means it's an emergency; otherwise, it just means you want to see me. I'll Apparate wherever you are." 

Draco nodded. 

"Are you sure you don't want me here?" Harry asked worriedly. 

"I'm sure." 

Harry put an arm around him, kissing him gently. Another time he might have been irritated at this excessive solicitousness, but right now he was just ridiculously grateful. Ben continued chattering happily to Granger in the kitchen, oblivious. 

Draco took a deep breath and came back into the kitchen after they left, wondering if what he was about to do was wise. He should probably sleep on it. Then again, if he did, he'd probably convince himself he shouldn't do it at all... 

He stirred his tea and glanced over his mail as Ben ate his scones and kept talking. About his mum, about Alec and Harry, school, everything and anything. How many times had they sat like this while he went over work-related things and Ben ate and nattered on? Probably hundreds. The difference being that right now Ben was over the moon, and Draco couldn't remember ever being more exhausted. 

"Jason really likes scones too," Ben was saying happily, and Draco smiled, still somewhat bemused. Harry and Granger had exchanged a nervous look when Ben had brought up Jason Weasley, shortly after they'd arrived. 

"Erm." Harry had cleared his throat. "Ben's been with the Weasleys a few times," he'd blurted out apologetically. "We'd been invited to dinner the day you left and... and we got there before the party and I didn't know if you'd approve, but Ben wanted to meet other wizard kids, and-" 

"Harry was going to just go before anybody else got there," Granger had said, "but that would've meant Alec would miss out on some things he'd been looking forward to, or he'd do them without Harry, so I thought..." 

Draco had waved off their apologies. Considering where he'd been, seeing Ben happy and safe far outweighed any concern over who he might have been with. 

"You had fun with Alec's cousins, did you?" Draco asked him now, and Ben nodded enthusiastically, bits of scone dropping as he opened his mouth to talk. Draco gently closed his son's bottom lip, and Ben obediently finished chewing and swallowing. 

"Oh yeah. They were brilliant! I've never seen so many people with ginger hair, like Alec! D'you remember that film with the clone soldiers?" 

Draco frowned, puzzled, then remembered. Ah yes. Star Warring. A Muggle film he'd felt was particularly objectionable for a five-year-old; one of the only parenting topics he and Kara had fought about. 

"They _all_ look like Alec, except for maybe three of them. And two of the little ones even look _exactly_ the same! Their da said he couldn't tell them apart either and it didn't matter anyway." He paused. "Or maybe it was their uncle said that." 

Draco smiled. 

"There was only one girl," Ben said. "She tried to trick me into eating some sweets that exploded, and her da got really upset. Or maybe it was her uncle. I'm not sure. Anyway he said that was no way to treat a guest and she didn't get any pudding." 

Draco took a deep breath. All right, enough delaying. "Ben, there's a few things I need to tell you about," he began, as Ben clumsily loaded more jam onto his scone. 

"About what?" 

"About me being gone so long. And about why I won't be able to do magic for a few months." 

"You're all better now, right?" Ben asked, giving him a slightly worried glance. 

"Yes, I'm fine. I have to tell you, though." He took a deep breath. "I wasn't at the hospital, Ben. You were told that so that you wouldn't worry about me, but I wasn't at the hospital." Ben frowned. "I didn't really get sick." 

"Yeah, you did," Ben said slowly. "You went green and had to lie down." 

"D'you remember I told you once that some magic can change memories?" 

"Yeah?" 

"That's what we did to you. I know you remember an ambulance and all that, but that memory's not real." 

"What?" Ben frowned, confused. "What really happened?" 

"Some people were going to harm you, and I used magic I wasn't supposed to use, to defend you." 

"Did it work?" 

"Yes. But I went to prison." 

Ben's eyes widened. "Why didn't _they_ get put in prison?" he asked indignantly. 

"Because they weren't going to hit you or hex you or anything like that. They... they were going to tell people that I was your father, and I was afraid of what would happen if they did that." 

Now Ben looked completely lost. "How could that hurt me?" 

"Ben..." He paused. "I don't want anybody to know whose son you are," he said carefully. "I... I don't want anybody to hurt you or hate you because of who I am." 

"But... why would they?" 

He took a deep breath. "D'you remember Alec told you about a bad man who started a war in the wizarding world?" 

"Yeah!" Ben nodded enthusiastically. "And his mam and da were heroes!" 

Draco nodded. "Harry's a really big hero. The whole wizarding world knows him; he's the one who beat the bad man. If he wanted to, he could be Minister for Magic or something like that. Instead, he just wants to live a quiet life with Alec. He doesn't want Alec to have people fuss over him because of who his father is." 

"Really?" Ben blinked. "How come Alec never told me that?" 

Draco smiled slightly. "Alec doesn't know just how famous his dad is, Ben." He cleared his throat. "I'm sort of famous too. Not nearly as much as Harry, but a lot of people know who I am. But I wasn't a hero, like Alec's mum and dad. I wish I had been, but... remember you asked me why I lived in the Muggle world?" 

Ben nodded. 

"It's because I was kicked out of the wizarding world." 

Ben's mouth dropped open in shock. "What? Why?!" 

"During the war, my family was on the side of the bad man Harry fought. Remember he wanted purebloods to rule everything? My parents were purebloods. They believed in that man, and they helped him." He took another deep breath and briefly wondered if he'd ever in his life done anything as difficult as this. "And so did I. I believed what he said. I don't any more, but I did then." 

Merlin, there couldn't be anything as painful as looking into your child's eyes and seeing what he was seeing in Ben's. "What... what did you do?" Ben asked, his voice very small. 

"A lot of things. I helped the bad man's supporters get into Hogwarts, and a lot of people got hurt. Did you meet Alec's uncle with the scars?" 

"Yeah! He looks scary but he's really nice. And he's married to a really really pretty lady." 

"One of the people I let into the school was a werewolf, and he almost killed Alec's uncle. I... I didn't know there would be a werewolf there. But I would've let him in anyway." 

"But _why_?" 

"Because the bad man had threatened me and my parents, and because I believed in him. I was scared of him, but I still thought he was right." He looked down, unable to meet Ben's bewildered eyes. "And because of that, I was put in prison for nine months, and then I couldn't do magic for three more years." 

"But... how could you believe in the bad man?" 

"I thought it was the right thing to do, at the time," he said, cursing the unsteadiness of his voice. "My parents raised me to believe what the bad man said, to believe that people like you were no good for the wizarding world. People like Harry and Hermione too. And our family was very rich, and very powerful and respected, so I thought we were right." 

"Are they still powerful?" 

"No. My parents lost everything. You know how you asked where my parents are now? They're... they're in prison. And there's still people who remember we did all that, and they don't want me back. Like the people who were going to hurt you the day I was arrested." 

Ben frowned. "But... why did they want to hurt me?" 

"Because you're my son. Because my family did a lot of bad things, and they were afraid that I was going to raise you to be the same way. To believe the same things." 

Ben gaped at him. 

"Ben, I don't want anybody to know you're my son. It's why I had you wear an amulet that day we went to Brigid's Cross. You can't tell anybody. It's not because I'm ashamed of you. It's because I'm ashamed of myself." 

And it struck Draco, viscerally, as soon as he'd said it out loud, that he meant it. He'd thought about what to say for weeks and had settled on this as the easiest way for Ben to understand, even if it was somewhat inaccurate. But now... now that he'd said the words, he realized how true they were. That he felt exactly that: shame. Shame at his Mark, at the beliefs he'd espoused, at the harm he'd done. At the humiliation of having had his first wand snapped in front of him, being caged like an animal, being exiled because his world didn't want him any more. Living the rest of his life as a dangerous criminal, watched over by parole officers because he couldn't be trusted to behave himself. His childhood home sold, his heritage destroyed. His family of birth still incarcerated, his mother half-insane, his father a shell of what he'd once been. 

He blinked, realizing his eyes were filling and his throat was tightening up. Made himself continue, forcing calmness into his voice. "People still remember me and my family, and what we did. You can't-" 

"Why can't you put on an amulet? So they won't recognize you?" 

"It's part of my punishment. You know my tattoo? That's called a Dark Mark, and it shows I was a follower of the bad man. Everybody with that tattoo was given the same sentence; none of us are allowed to hide who we are." 

"But - but Mam got rid of her tattoo when she didn't like Linda any more-" 

"It's not like a Muggle tattoo, Ben. It's magic, and it's permanent. And my punishment for having it is that for the rest of my life, if I go to the wizarding world, I have to risk having people treat me badly, or yell at me, or even spit on me. If they hit me or hex me, I can defend myself, or leave. But they can do just about anything else. They can tell me they don't want me in their stores or restaurants, they can be rude to me, and I can't do anything about it. For the rest of my life." 

Ben's face darkened and he scowled. "I don't want to go back there, then!" he said vehemently, and Draco's composure started to falter. 

"N-no," he said, his voice shaking. "Ben, don't say that. You didn't do anything wrong. It's not your fault. I just don't want anybody to know-" 

"But-" 

"It's _not your fault_. What I did doesn't have anything to do with you! It has to do with the Malfoy family, and you're _not_ one of us!" 

"But..." Ben was looking so bloody lost. 

"I'm sorry," Draco said, desperately holding back the sobs that threatened to break out at the anger and hurt and confusion in Ben's eyes. "I'm so sorry. I wish... if I could go back in time I would change all of that. But I can't." 

Bloody hell. Nine months in prison, three years without magic, three more years of living only in the Muggle world, and a renewed incarceration hadn't done it. He'd mouthed the words so many times: I'm sorry, I regret my actions, I accept that what I did was wrong; said all of that to the Aurors, the Wizengamot, the guards, and his parole officers. He'd even believed them, to a certain extent. But it was only here, facing Ben, that they finally hit home. That he finally realized he regretted his past more than he'd ever thought possible. Regretted not being who his son thought he was. Regretted his actions, his thoughts, his existence before Ben was born. Regretted all of it. 

This little half-blood boy, who was so loving and intelligent, so gentle and protective of others - this incredible little person who'd taken over Draco's life completely, was exactly the kind of person he would've despised before the war. Just as stupidly as Ben's Muggle grandfather despised him now, for things Ben had no control over, the colour of his skin and the sexual orientation of his parents. His son, this amazing little boy, would have been worthless to him back then. And there was no way to make that any better, no justification for it. 

And there wasn't any point in trying to hold back his sorrow, because he couldn't any more. 

"Ben-" he choked out as the tears started to flow freely, and Ben's eyes widened as he slid off his chair. Draco tried to turn away but Ben climbed into his lap and hugged him, and Draco quickly tapped the small stag-charm in his pocket. 

Harry was in his kitchen in an instant. Draco tried to gently push Ben away. "Please, Ben, go with Harry, all right? I'll - I'll be all right in a minute-" 

Ben held on tighter, and it was no use; Draco couldn't get away, couldn't stop crying, couldn't do anything. God. 

Harry knelt down next to the chair and put his arms around them both, murmuring something Draco couldn't hear over his own sobs. Draco finally let himself relax into his embrace, and let go.


	6. October

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> scrtkpr, you are totally my hero. Heroine. Heroin? One of those, anyway ;)

**Date:** October 15  
 **From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
 **To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
Contrary to what my replacement director told the kids, they _do_ have show up two hours before the concert. The sopranos are still a complete mess. And yes, I know, it's a miracle they can do the concert at all, and I've refrained from shouting at my replacement.

**_Date:_ ** _October 16  
_ **_From:_ ** _hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
_ **_To:_ ** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
I've got your blue robe. Also: the Weasleys are coming and will be taking Alec out for dinner afterwards. Sorry, I didn't invite them; Alec did._

**Date:** October 17  
 **From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
 **To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
That'll be a joy.

* * *

**October 20**

Alec carefully opened the door of his dad's bedroom and peeked in. Asleep. He tiptoed up to the bed, then paused, watching Daddy and Draco sleeping. Draco looked very peaceful, cuddled up to Daddy with Daddy's arm around him. Not so moody like he did sometimes when he was awake. He'd been moody ever since he'd come back after being away; Daddy said it had been really difficult for Draco at Azkaban, and that they worked hard to make you feel bad there. He looked like maybe he was feeling a bit better now.

Alec watched him for a few moments, noticing that Draco had some sort of drawing on his arm. He squinted and tried to get a good look at it, but Draco's arm was thrown over Daddy's chest and Alec couldn't quite see it. Oh well. He'd have to remember to ask Draco about it when Draco woke up. Right now there were more important things to do.

Alec leaned close to his daddy's ear. "Daddy," he whispered, and Daddy sighed but stayed asleep. "Daddy. Wake up."

Daddy's eyes blinked open and he stared sleepily at Alec.

"Daddy, it's concert day," Alec whispered. "Remember? It's concert day, wake up." He handed Daddy his glasses, and Daddy started to sit up, the sheet falling away from him. Beside him, Draco turned over and kept sleeping.

"You're not wearing anything!" Alec said, puzzled.

"Ah. Erm. No," said Daddy, pulling the sheets up. He cleared his throat and Draco's eyes opened. He started to sit up and Daddy put a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him back down.

Alec looked over his shoulder. "Daddy, Draco's not wearing anything either," he whispered. Draco stared at Alec for a moment, then quickly turned his back and hid his face in a pillow. Alec could see his shoulders shaking.

"Erm. No, he's not," Daddy said, and Draco made a muffled sound like a snort under the pillow. Daddy gave him a small shove. "Erm, Alec, would you mind coming back in a minute? We'll put something on."

"There's a handy spell for that, actually," Draco said, and his voice sounded a little strange. " _Garbamenta._ "

Daddy reached for his wand and muttered the spell, and then they were suddenly both wearing t-shirts.

"Why weren't you wearing anything?" Alec asked.

Daddy cleared his throat. "Erm. Sometimes grownups who like each other a lot go to bed together without clothes," he mumbled, and gave Draco another small shove.

"Did you and Mummy ever do that?"

"Alec, why did you wake me up?"

"It's concert day, Daddy," Alec reminded him patiently. "Remember? You said you'd make special breakfast."

"At…" Daddy peered at the clock. "Six o'clock in the morning?"

Alec blinked.

"Alec, it's… never mind. You can't tell time." Daddy rubbed his eyes. "All right, let's go then."

"I'm going back to sleep," Draco said, yawning, and Alec frowned.

"But you're going to be conducting today," he said. "Aren't you excited?"

Draco chuckled. "I've conducted a lot of concerts, Alec. It's very exciting, but so is sleeping in."

"But I want to practice."

"You know your parts down cold, and most of the other sections' parts as well." Draco yawned, closing his eyes again. "If all choir members were like you, I'd be out of a job."

"Come on, little man, let Draco go back to sleep," Daddy said firmly, getting up. "And let me envy him because he can." Draco laughed and Daddy gave him a quick kiss, then headed towards the kitchen.

"Do you think it'll be exciting being at the concert?" Alec asked.

"Oh, definitely."

"D'you think everybody will like it?"

"I'm sure they will."

"Granddad's really going to like that it's in a Muggle place, right?"

"Yeah," Daddy said, and they grinned at each other as he started the tea brewing. Granddad was so funny about Muggle things.

"D'you think Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione will like it?"

"Absolutely."

Daddy busied himself taking out sausages and eggs and charming the frying pan hot, while Alec got his mug out of the cupboard and carefully filled it with pumpkin juice.

"Daddy."

"Yeah?"

"Do you think it'll be all right that Uncle Fred and Aunt Anne will be there?"

Daddy waved his wand at the eggs to hold them over the sausages until they were brown. "They'll probably be busy making sure your Granddad doesn't do anything silly."

"But d'you think they'll say anything nasty to Draco?"

Daddy sighed and poured himself some tea. "Alec, I don't know. I really don't think so. You saw how they were with Ben when he came to visit; everybody behaved themselves. They'll probably just ignore Draco, if they have to be around him." He waved his wand, turning the sausages over. "Which I doubt they will. You know Draco probably won't go anywhere near them anyway."

"Auntie Hermione told Uncle Fred she would hex him a new one if he said anything rude," said Alec, and looked up, startled, as Daddy choked on his tea.

"She said _what?_ "

"That she'd hex him a new one. What new one?"

"Erm." Daddy coughed a few times, his face a bit red. "She, erm… probably a new nose."

"Auntie Hermione's good with hexes," Alec said. "That's what Uncle Ron says."

"He's not wrong."

"Mummy was really good at the Bat Bogey Hex," Alec said proudly, and Daddy smiled. "Uncle Fred said she hexed him a lot of times when they were little."

"Yeah, she did."

Alec watched the eggs slowly rotating over the frying sausages. "Why don't you cook with magic any more when Draco's here?"

Daddy tilted his head to the side and looked at Alec seriously. "Well… it's hard for Draco to not be able to use magic. I don't want to make him feel bad because I can do something he's not allowed to do. Besides, I don't mind cooking by hand. I cooked by hand all the time when I was little."

"Draco feels bad about a lot of things, doesn't he?"

Daddy gave him a sharp look. "Sometimes, yeah."

"So does Ben. He's sad too."

"Yeah, little man, I know."

"I'd be sad too. If you'd done some of what Draco did." Alec swirled his pumpkin juice around and watched the sausages get browner, their crackling sounding almost like tiny drums. It was so weird, that Draco had done such bad things. When Daddy had told Alec about Voldymort when he was little, Voldymort was the worst bad guy ever, and it was just so strange that somebody who did music could have helped someone like that. "I'm glad Uncle Percy's busy today."

"You and me both," Daddy muttered, then cleared his throat. "I mean, it's too bad, but he's not a big fan of music anyway. Maybe he can come to your next concert."

"I'm really little to be in a choir, right? That's what Draco said."

"Yeah, you are. Especially a choir as good as Draco's. You're lucky Draco let you in."

Alec suddenly frowned. "Daddy, what if people at the concert see Draco with Ben? What if the same thing happens like what happened at Brigid's Cross?"

"It's a Muggle place, Alec. He's not worried about that with Muggles."

Alec nodded, thinking of Brigid's Cross. It was still so confusing to think that he'd lost a whole day of memories there. Daddy had shown him a potion from Brigid's Cross that made it so you could sing more than one note at a time, and Alec and Ben had used it a lot, but Alec didn't remember buying it at all. Daddy had said that was because what had happened there had been really scary for Ben, so they'd got rid of his memories until they could figure out what to tell him. And of course if Ben couldn't keep his memories, Alec couldn't either, because otherwise he'd probably forget not to talk to Ben about what had happened. Daddy had promised to take them back to someplace like Brigid's Cross some day, but it was so strange to have lost an entire day just like that.

And it was so strange that Draco was back, but he was different. He had a beard now, and he wasn't allowed to do magic, and sometimes he was sad. Not crying-sad, but very quiet and serious. And sometimes very grumpy.

"Daddy, why does Draco fight with you sometimes?" Alec asked.

Daddy shrugged. "Sometimes people who are dating or married fight." He flipped over the sausages again.

"D'you think Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione fight?" Alec asked, bringing his daddy a loaf of bread.

Daddy smiled, taking the bread and slicing it. "Possibly."

"I've seen Uncle Fred and Aunt Anne fight sometimes."

"Yeah. It's normal. Even if you love somebody a lot, you don't always agree about everything. But you work it out."

"I don't like it when you argue."

"Nobody likes it, Alec," Daddy said quietly.

"You didn't used to," Alec pointed out. Daddy looked away, getting himself some more tea. "What if you had a really bad fight and you didn't want to be together any more?" Alec asked. "Draco said that once, remember? He said if it's that much of a problem, why don't you leave?"

Daddy picked up a hair-tie and pulled his hair back, staring at the frying sausages as he tied it into a ponytail. "It's hard, sometimes, being with Draco," Daddy said slowly. "There's always some problems when you're dating somebody. But things are a little more difficult for us."

"Is it because of our family?"

"Yeah, that's part of it. And because of the things Draco did. And because of Azkaban." Daddy set a toasting spell on the bread. "He's got a lot of things to deal with."

"What if you didn't want to date him any more? Could I still see him? And Ben?"

Daddy's lips pressed together. "I don't know, little man. I'd like to say yes. But I wouldn't want to promise anything I can't guarantee."

Alec watched the bread slowly turning a light tan colour, and wondered what Ben thought about all of this. Wondered what Ben was doing right now at his mum's house.

"Why does Ben spend so much time at Kara's house?" he asked.

"She's his mum."

"Yeah, but Draco's his dad. Why don't they live together? Everybody else's mums and dads live together."

"Erm…" Daddy thought for a moment. "Well, because Draco and Kara were never married. They're just parents together. They both love Ben and they both take care of him, but they don't want to live together."

"I thought you had to be married to have a baby."

"Erm, well, most people think it's better if you are, but you don't have to be."

"You were."

"Yeah."

"When are you going to marry Draco?"

Daddy gave him a stern look. "We've talked about that, little man, remember? I don't know if we ever will."

"When will you know?"

Daddy blew out his breath and glanced at the clock. "You know, I think maybe Draco's slept long enough. Maybe we should wake him."

"How long does it take before you know if you're going to get married?"

"I don't know," Daddy said, sounding a bit cross. "It depends."

"How long did you and Mummy wait?"

"Three years."

"That's a long time."

"Well, we were pretty young. Most people don't get married as young as we did."

"Why did you then?"

Daddy pushed up his glasses. "Erm. Well, we loved each other, and, erm, you were coming, so we thought we might as well. We'd sort of been planning to do it eventually."

"You got married because I was coming?"

"Not just because of that. We just did it sooner than we would've otherwise."

"If you and Draco were going to have a baby would you get married?"

Daddy's eyes turned very serious. "That couldn't happen," he said firmly. "You know I've told you that you can't have brothers or sisters."

"But if you married Draco, Ben would be my brother, right?"

"I suppose so." Daddy frowned and flipped the sausages over again.

"Well I'm glad Draco and Kara aren't married. Because if they were you couldn't date Draco, could you?"

"No, probably not."

"D'you think Draco and Kara ever go to bed together without any clothes on?" Alec asked, and took a step back as his daddy suddenly choked out a lot of tea and the eggs suspended over the frying pan dropped.

"Oh shite-" Daddy bit his lip and picked up his wand, frowning in concentration as he lifted the eggshells off the pan.

"You shouldn't say that word," Alec told him. "Auntie Hermione gets awfully angry with Uncle Ron when he says it."

"It's a useful word," Daddy muttered, clearing up the mess.

"So do they?" Alec asked. "Go to bed without clothes?"

Daddy was staring at the eggs with a frown. "Alec, that's… erm. No. No, they definitely don't."

"Definitely don't what?" Draco asked, walking into the kitchen yawning.

"Go to bed without clothes on," Alec said, and was puzzled as Draco turned right around and started to leave the kitchen, laughing.

"A little help here would really be appreciated," Daddy called out.

Draco looked over his shoulder. "You seem to be handling it very well on your own," he said, chuckling. Daddy flicked an eggshell at him, and Draco caught it with a smirk. He laughed. "Ooh, I'm not getting any tonight, am I?"

"Getting any what?" Alec asked. Draco smiled brightly at Daddy.

"Erm. Sweets," Daddy said, getting very red.

"What kind of sweets?"

"Special, erm, daddy sweets."

"Good save, Potter," Draco laughed, and left the kitchen.

"Daddy!" Alec realized something. "Now he's awake, d'you think Draco will practice with me?"

"I'm sure he'd be happy to!" Daddy said with a wide smile. "Why don't you go ask him?"

* * *

"[Take me somewhere](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27817942/chapters/68103493#workskin)," sang Ben and the sopranos.

"Oh carry me somewhere," Alec and the altos sang in response, and this was such a beautiful song. It made you feel like you were on a ship to somewhere wonderful. Draco had said that it was about going to a place where you belonged, and Daddy had said it reminded him of himself when he was little.

It was so strange that people like Daddy and Ben and Aunt Hermione hadn't grown up in the magical world. How weird.

And it was so cool to stand next to Ben and sing. Much cooler than singing with only the two of them, because they had so many other people singing with them, and Draco was leading them, showing them when to come in, and how loud to sing. Not that Alec needed Draco to tell him any of that, but most of the other kids around him did, even the really big ones. And the parts where you didn't go quite with the beat were tricky for a lot of them. Not for Alec, of course; it was like climbing down a set of stairs. The part where they said _carry me on_ was so easy to sing, like somebody was actually carrying you. Alec let himself be carried along, feeling nothing but the joy of the music, not even aware of anybody around him, until the final key change.

"We'll give you our heart, give you our breathing," Alec and Ben sang, "Give you a ship that could sail Abelard to Eloise."

Alec really liked that part. Abelard and Eloise were famous lovers, Draco had said, whose families disapproved of them and made them be apart, but they stayed in love for the rest of their lives. Then Draco had said something like "Bloody ridiculous Muggle sentimentality," and Daddy had said, chuckling, that Abelard was a wizard, and Eloise a witch. And had laughed when Draco refused to believe him until Daddy brought him a book Aunt Hermione had shown him once.

Alec blinked, startled, as the audience applauded. He'd forgotten somehow that he was on a stage, and he looked at Ben quickly, a little scared. Ben was grinning widely. Draco was happy with them, too. "Good job," he mouthed, smiling at the choir, before giving Ben and Alec a wink and reminding them all to be still and prepare for the next song.

The next song was [Suo Gân](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27817942/chapters/68820147#workskin), which started with Ben's solo. Alec briefly wished he could have a solo like Ben, and see Draco look at him proudly, and the audience smile at him, and his uncles look surprised and pleased, but decided he preferred his own part. It was pretty in its own way, even though a lot of it was just humming while Ben sang.

Ben and the other sopranos' voices went so high, too. It was impossible for Alec to follow them, even if he let himself go squeaky. They sounded like they were soaring off into the air, like on Daddy's broom - but gently, like Daddy flew with Alec so that Alec wouldn't be frightened. Ben didn't get frightened. They'd gone up with Draco and Ben a few times, before Draco had gone away and then couldn't fly any more.

At least Draco still had music. They could take magic away, but nobody could take music away from you.

A cradle song, that's what Draco had said this song was. It sounded like it, too. Especially when Ben sang it; for some reason, Ben really liked babies, even though they sounded awful a lot of the time.

There was a lovely silence after they finished, then a burst of applause, and Alec spotted his family in the audience. They were clapping, Daddy beaming at Alec and Ben, Uncle Fred saying something to Aunt Anne. Grandmum wiping her eyes, Granddad's mouth a little open as he stared at all the Muggles. Then Alec heard the opening notes of the next song and focused on Draco again. He could look for the rest of his family later.

Then suddenly it was intermission, and Alec didn't know how the time could've gone by so fast.

"It's going really well, isn't it?" he asked Ben backstage.

"Yeah," Ben said, grinning. "Dad's pretty happy with the sopranos."

"He didn't say anything to you."

Ben nodded. "That's how you know. If he's not happy, we hear about it."

"All right, kids," Draco said, gathering them all. "The mums are taking kids to the toilets. If you're not going, remember to stay backstage and not wander off."

"D'you have to go?" Ben asked Alec.

"No."

"Everyone under seven goes," Draco said sternly, and Ben and Alec sighed and joined the line of other little boys following the mums to the toilet.

"I saw my family!" Alec said to Ben as they waited, and Ben's mouth turned down. "What?"

"Me Da's not happy about them being here," Ben said.

"Why?"

"They don't like him. I think they should forgive him. Harry did."

"Uncle George did," Alec said, trying to make Ben feel a bit better. "So did Uncle Bill."

"Yeah?"

"I think so. And Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione."

"Dad says some people probably won't ever forgive him."

Alec didn't know what to say to that.

"I don't want to be somewhere where people don't like me Da," Ben said, scowling. "Especially if they don't let him use his magic."

"He said he doesn't mind that so much," Alec said timidly.

"He does too," Ben said, looking angry.

Alec felt awful. "But... he's still got music. I'd rather lose magic than music, wouldn't you?"

Ben's eyes grew huge. "Are you joking?" he asked, and Alec didn't have time to ask him what he meant because just then the toilet was free and one of the choir mums pushed him over to it.

* * *

[Hope for Resolution](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27817942/chapters/68820147#workskin) was the last song, and it was one of those wonderful songs that had two totally different types of music, both coming together perfectly. Daddy had said it was from a part of the world where black people and white people didn't get along, and the first part was by whites and the second was by blacks and it was a song of both colours coming together just like the songs did. Just because one had a stronger rhythm and the other had higher notes didn't mean they couldn't get along. Which was true, and especially true for people, because it didn't matter if somebody was white or brown. Ben didn't care. Neither did his dad or his mum.

The first part was solid, like a good solid house, and the sound went up and down and praised God, like building a church, walls, roof, windows, then filling the church with light as the voices chased each other around and around, and it was like beams going in through stained glass windows. Like magic that built on itself, evermore and evermore.

Then it changed, got rhythm, and became a dance. Like the voices were playing, dancing in a circle over and over.

Then the most beautiful part came. The rhythm and dance continued, joined by the church building with its light, all of them building and dancing and filling the auditorium with light, and Ben was singing the church part of the song and Alec was singing the rhythm, and then they switched as the first sopranos took over the rhythm part and soared over the builders, then they switched again, and finally they brought all of the threads of music together. About people who were different, and who hated each other, figuring out how to live together and get along, and dancing in a beautiful building full of music and light.

* * *

"Did you see me?" Alec said as Uncle Fred swooped him up after the concert.

"You were fantastic!" he said, hugging him close. "I'm so proud of you!"

Alec beamed at him. "And I didn't forget a single word!"

Then Grandmum pulled him out of Uncle Fred's arms and hugged him close, crying a little bit. "Your mummy would've been so proud of you, dear," she said, sniffling, and Alec felt warm all the way in. None of them really understood music - not the way he and Draco and Ben understood it - but it still felt wonderful to have them here. And it felt wonderful being in this reception hall after the concert, in the middle of so many people who loved music. It was _brilliant_. Almost _too_ brilliant, but in a wonderful way.

"Your soloist is amazing!" he heard somebody saying behind him. "Any relation to Kara Greely?"

"Her son, actually," said Draco's voice, and Alec turned around to see him, but there were too many people milling about. "You know Kara?"

"Really? Apple's no fallen far from the tree, has it?" the other voice said. "I heard her at the Kaye. Heard she got a contract?"

"Just signed a few months ago, with Windbourne. She has a CD in the works."

A couple moved out of the way. "Draco!" Alec said, finally spotting him.

Draco turned and smiled at him before noticing Alec's family.

"Was I good?" Alec asked, running up to him.

Draco glanced at Daddy. "You were wonderful. Didn't I tell you you'd have no problem?" He patted Alec's shoulder and gave Daddy a nod, turning to go.

"Hello, Malfoy," Uncle Fred said quietly, and Draco looked at him, his face very blank. Alec swallowed hard as he looked from one to the other, hoping they wouldn't fight. Daddy had told him a little bit about why Uncle Fred didn't like Draco, but this was Alec's _concert_. They wouldn't fight right after his concert, would they?

"Very good concert," Granddad said, and he sounded like it was a bit difficult to speak.

Draco nodded. "Thank you."

Ben came running through the crowd, going up to Draco with his mouth open in a wide grin, looking like he was just about to burst out something - and stopped short as he saw Alec's family.

"There's not a lot of really little kids in the choir," said Aunt Demelza, rather stiffly, as Ben drew closer to Draco and took his hand.

"There's not a lot of kids as talented as Alec. Or with as much patience." Draco smiled at Alec, and Alec grinned back.

"All right, erm, it's time to go to the restaurant," said Grandmum, and Daddy took Alec's hand.

"All right, Ben, say goodbye," Draco said, and Alec looked at them, surprised.

"You're not coming to the restaurant?" he said, and Daddy's hand tightened on his.

"Erm, Alec-"

"But... but it's my first concert," said Alec slowly. "And I thought Ben and Draco were going to come to dinner with us too."

Ben shook his head. "That's probably not a good idea," he said quietly, looking at the floor.

Alec frowned. Ben did that sometimes, ever since Draco had come back, acting like he was a lot older than Alec instead of hardly any older at all, and it really made Alec cross. But Ben was also looking sad and everybody was uncomfortable and it was like sour notes landing everywhere and drowning out the memory of the beautiful music. It made Alec wanted to stamp and shout and do all the things his cousin Michelle did when she was angry.

"Alec, we'll see Draco and Ben at home later tonight, all right?" Daddy said quietly. "Right now they're... busy."

Alec glared at him. Daddies were not supposed to lie.

Then Daddy leaned close to Draco and whispered in his ear, and Draco nodded. "Yeah, if he wants to," he said, and took Ben aside, talking to him seriously. Alec's family stood uncomfortably - Uncle George fiddling with his Muggle tie, Granddad peering up at the chandelier with its electric lights, Aunt Anne and Aunt Demelza talking in low voices, making Draco hard for Alec to hear.

Ben shook his head. "No, not without you."

"Ben, please. It's for Alec. And you said you had fun with his fam-"

"That was before I knew," Ben said stubbornly.

Draco sighed. "I won't make you go. But it would mean a lot to Alec."

Ben looked at Alec for a long moment, then nodded.

"Right, well Draco's going to be busy wrapping up the concert, but Ben's coming with us," Daddy said, and everybody smiled in relief.

"Let's go, Ben," said Uncle Ron, and held out a hand to Ben. Draco ran a hand over Ben's dreadlocks and exchanged a quick look with Daddy, then started to head back into the crowd.

"See you, Malfoy," said Uncle George, and Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron nodded at Draco as well.

Daddy took Alec's hand again, walked up to Uncle George and said something Alec couldn't hear. Uncle George shrugged.

"I t-told you the day the family went mental on you, mate," he said. "M-makes no difference to me."

"Thanks anyway," said Daddy, and Alec wondered what they were talking about. But the crowd was still milling about, and he could only hear snippets of conversation from his family.

"We're taking the Floo to the restaurant," Granddad was saying.

"I love traveling by Floo!" said Ben.

"When did Malfoy grow a beard?" Aunt Demelza asked Daddy.

"He can't do magic, and he's got a scar on his jaw," Daddy answered, which didn't answer Aunt Demelza's question at all.

"Oh, so it grew while he was at-"

"Yeah."

"You wouldn't let me g-grow one," said Uncle George to Aunt Demelza.

"I'd rather not kiss fur, thanks," said Aunt Demelza.

"It's not that bad," said Daddy. There were a couple of snickers.

"I t-told you!" Uncle George teased her, and she rolled her eyes.

"Why d'you talk funny?" Ben asked Uncle George.

Uncle George chuckled. "I d-don't talk funny; you hear funny."

"What?"

"It's t-true. Your ears probably s-smell like lemons."

"What?"

"T-true." Uncle George leaned down and sniffed Ben's ear. "Lemons. That's why you hear f-funny."

"My ears don't smell like lemons!" Ben laughed, and looked at Daddy, who grinned at him.

"How do you know they don't?" Aunt Demelza asked Ben.

"Because somebody would've told me if they did!"

"Actually, you're r-right," said Uncle Fred. "They don't both smell like lemons. Only the l-left one does."

Ben blinked at him.

"The r-right one smells like oranges. That's how come you hear me t-talk funny too."

Ben laughed. "No you don't!"

"How d'you know?" asked Uncle Fred. "D'you know everybody else h-hears us talk just fine?"

"All right, how did they get to smell like oranges and lemons, then?" Ben asked.

Uncle George grinned at him approvingly. "Gnomes!"

"V-vengeful gnomes," said Uncle Fred.

Ben laughed, and Alec caught an amused look between Daddy and Aunt Hermione as Uncle Fred and Uncle George's story got weirder and weirder.

"He's a better ambassador to this family than Draco could ever hope for, isn't he?" she said to Daddy, her voice low.

Daddy smiled and nodded, then turned to look behind them, searching the crowd and slowing down. Alec followed his gaze, and saw Draco talking to a couple of women, most probably about the concert. Daddy gazed at him, looking like… Alec couldn't figure it out. Like he was thinking. A little bit sad, maybe. Then he shook himself and turned back, following the rest of the Weasleys as they headed towards the Floo. ****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs Alec and Ben sing in this chapter are Labour of Love, which was mentioned in chapter 3, Suo Gân, and Hope For Resolution. They can be found at the lyrics pages, at
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/27817942/chapters/68103493#workskin
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/27817942/chapters/68820147#workskin
> 
> It was been fun and challenging to write kid-POVs, but I was kinda wishing I hadn't planned to do two of them so close together, and very glad there were no more planned for the rest of the story. Two was enough :)


	7. November

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks hugely to scrtkpr, for wonderful beta :)

**Date:** October 29  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wzr  
Alec left his Weasley jumper here.

**_Date:_ ** _November 19  
_ **_From:_ ** _hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
_ **_To:_ ** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
Are we still on for the movie on Friday? Alec will be at Ron and Hermione's. Also: am I still picking you up Wednesday?_

**Date:** November 19  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
Yeah, Ben's with Kara on Friday. Don't expect me to be in a great mood Wednesday.

**_Date:_ ** _November 19  
_ **_From:_ ** _hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
_ **_To:_ ** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
Don't worry about it. I imagine interrogations are unpleasant._

**Date:** November 20  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
That and Veritaserum tastes like old socks. Steeped in stale Butterbeer.

**_Date:_ ** _November 20  
_ **_From:_ ** _hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
_ **_To:_ ** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
I won't ask how you can recognize the taste._

**Date:** November 20  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wz  
I think that's how Kara flavours her porridge. The only reason I don't fear for Ben's health is that nothing she makes is actually poisonous, other than aesthetically.

* * *

**Friday, November 23**

"All right, all right," George grumbled, as whoever was at the lab door knocked again, loudly and impatiently. "Keep your p-panties on." He flicked his wand distractedly, taking down wards as he went, his mind on Wheezes' newest love charm and his sons' latest escapade. Three years old and they already seriously made him doubt his ability to survive their childhood. He wondered if they would also end up being the driving force for new security products, as their cousin Michelle was, because sheer desperation kept forcing him and Fred to invent new ways to keep her out of their things, and some of those inventions had really proven-

"George! Open up!"

George blew out his breath impatiently, finally opening the door. "I s-said I was-"

Harry stalked in and George backed up automatically. Harry was livid. Waves of fury were rolling off him and George felt a pang of alarm as all the candles in the room wavered a bit and the clock hiccupped.

"Harry?"

"Where the _fuck_ is your brother?"

George frowned. "I'm assuming you m-mean Fred," he said. Harry glared at him. "N-not in my pocket, mate. You've tried his home?"

"First place I went. Also tried Wheezes. He's not there either."

"And you w-want him because..."

"Because he's gone too fucking far this time, and I'm going to strangle him with his own bloody entrails if he doesn't have a _fucking_ good explanation for this." He threw a copy of the Prophet, open to the third page, onto the table.

George looked at it and blanched. Oh shit. There was Harry, blurry and far away but still quite recognizable as himself, walking up to a man in a hooded cloak and kissing him briefly before they both disappeared into a building. The man's face was mostly shadowed by his hood, but he was easily recognizable as Malfoy to anybody who knew who he was supposed to be. "Boy Who Mourned Finds Love At Last?" trilled the headline, followed by a mercifully short and vague reference to Harry being spotted meeting somebody at the entrance to a small store, and brief speculation as to who that somebody might be.

Shit.

George scanned the picture again, re-read the article. "Look, you d-don't know that it was Fred-"

"I was using one of _your_ fucking New Face amulets! The kind that you can only see through if you've got the counter-charm! Whoever took this picture had a camera modified with the counter-charm. Who else could've-"

"Yeah, I figured that part, b-but you know the Aurors have-"

"I was using a new model prototype," Harry said, and tossed a small amulet onto the table next to the paper. "You know, the ones you haven't given the Auror corps counter-charms to, because they're not available to the general public yet?"

George gave a low whistle.

"Fred gave it to me himself," Harry fumed. "Said you'd found the current ones make you queasy if you wear them in the rain. I thought it was awfully decent of him to give it to me, considering he knew I was using them to be with Draco. Bastard!"

George covered his mouth, completely appalled.

"I take it he didn't discuss this with you," Harry said grimly.

"Fuck n-no," George said. He swallowed hard and rubbed his forehead, fighting down the very strong urge to find Fred right now and give him a bloody nose without so much as a Hello first. How the _fuck_ could...

All right, pull back. Harry was angry enough that he didn't need anybody else to fan the flames. George drew a deep breath, re-read the short article. "It doesn't m-mention Malfoy's name," he pointed out in what he hoped was a reasonable tone.

"Yeah. This time!" Harry fumed. "Who the _hell_ does he think-" he cut himself off, shook his head angrily. "So. Where the fuck is he?"

George glanced at the clock. Nine thirty, Friday morning. "P-probably at the Apothecary, or back at the flat," he said, and reached out to grab Harry as Harry started back out the door. "Harry. Wait."

"Let go."

"Wait! Listen-"

"I am not going to fucking well wait! I-"

"You c-can't just-"

"I am _not_ going to let you calm me down and talk me out of telling him exactly what I think of his FUCKING interference-"

"He-"

"'Protecting Alec' and - who the FUCK does he think he-"

"HARRY!" George shouted. "Fucking shut UP!" He took a deep breath. "I'm not g-going to talk you out of anything. I'm j-just going to come with you." Harry glared at him. "To make sure you d-don't kill him. Before I get a chance to d-do it myself."

Harry crossed his arms, somewhat mollified, and waited, tapping his foot, while George put the potion he'd been working on in stasis. He checked the lab to make sure nothing was left in an unstable condition, then got out his MagicMap of Diagon Alley, quickly locating a moving dot with Fred's name on it, in their old flat and current work and storage area. And damn, he had his kids with him too.

"R-right," George said, dousing the bright lab lights. "Our old flat."

_God, Fred, what in buggery have you done,_ George thought dazedly as they Flooed to Diagon Alley. Yeah, he'd said way back in the summer that he wasn't going to let this go, that he was determined to get Malfoy out of Harry and Alec's life... but that had been months ago. And doing it like this, bringing Harry to the attention of the press, was bound to backfire. George hadn't seen Harry this wound up, this _alive_ , since before Ginny had died. He was almost levitating from the sheer force of his fury.

Not for the first time, George wondered how he and Fred could've drifted so far apart. Compared to most siblings, even most twins, they were still very close, but they had once been almost like the same person. He had once been able to say with almost one hundred percent accuracy what Fred would think or feel or say or do about everything. But what Fred had done now... George just couldn't get his mind around it. He'd given Harry an amulet, modified a camera to see past its charm, taken a picture of Harry, and sent it in to the sodding _Prophet_. No doubt he'd blurred Malfoy deliberately, both to keep Harry from outright killing him and to make the picture more useful. Intimidating Malfoy into scurrying back into the shadows while there was still a chance of protecting his anonymity.

It was so calculated, and so bloody _cold_.

It just might work, too, George realized. But at what cost to Harry? At what cost to Alec - and to Ben, Malfoy's little kid? How could Fred do something like this to a child? It was just...

Not for the first time, George wished Lucius Malfoy into the deepest bowels of hell. After Malfoy had cursed him, George had spent months fighting pain and disability, learning to move and see and speak again; Fred had spent the entire time helplessly watching, unable to do anything to help his twin, and it had soured something inside him. George couldn't imagine any other reason for him to have gone this far off the deep end. The brother he knew would've railed at the situation between Harry and Malfoy, made obnoxious comments about it, and maybe even contemplated blackmail. But he would never have actually carried it out. Not without the family's support, certainly not by bringing Harry publicity, and absolutely not without even telling George about it beforehand.

Bloody hell.

"So have you t-talked to Malfoy yet?" George asked, more to distract himself from his own depressing thoughts than out of any real curiosity.

"No." Harry ran a hand through his hair. "I doubt he's seen it. He doesn't get the paper; besides it's Friday morning, he's got Choral Ensemble and, erm, Composition, I think. He probably won't see it unless I tell him about it. Fuck, he's going to go mental."

"You're going to tell him, then?"

Harry glared at him. "Of course I am! I'd be a right prat to keep something like this from him, wouldn't I? It concerns him. He deserves to know!"

"Right, right, c-calm down, mate," said George, fighting to not roll his eyes at Harry's excellent imitation of a nesting dragon. "Just asking."

They arrived at Wheezes and hurried through the cheerful crowd and magenta-clad employees, and George realized with annoyance that he'd forgotten his indoor glasses. He grabbed Harry's arm, glad for the excuse to keep hold of him in case he decided to do anything unusually stupid. Harry led them to the back stairs and they started up, with George still trying to figure out how to get Fred's kids out of the way, how to contain the situation, and how to stop himself from beating the shit out of his twin himself. While operating in blurry darkness. Marvellous.

"No it's _not_ funny, Michelle!" Fred's voice came floating down the stairs as George and Harry went up. "Your little brother is scared out of his wits and-"

There was an indistinct sound, presumably from Michelle.

"That was _supposed_ to be a cautionary tale!" Fred said, exasperated. "Not a bl- not a suggestion!" Pause. "Yes, that's wonderful, he won't be scared of spiders - instead he'll be terrified of teddy bears! D'you have any idea how much other kids are going to tease him for having a phobia of _teddy bears_?!"

George suppressed a chuckle.

"No! You are Flooing back home and you will not be back at the shop until your mum says so - and that won't be until you've apologized to your brother!"

The door slammed open and Fred came out, carrying a bag of Apothecary purchases and starting down the stairs. He stopped in surprise as he nearly ran into George and Harry.

"I need to talk to you," Harry said grimly, pushing his way past Fred and into the small flat.

"Sure mate, I'll just go drop off-"

"No. Now."

Fred frowned at Harry, but followed him into the flat and dropped his purchases near the door. "What's got your knickers in a knot?"

Harry shoved the paper at Fred, and Fred's eyes widened as he took in the picture. He looked up at Harry with a frown.

"You think I-"

" _You're_ the one who gave me the prototype amulet, and you knew I was going to meet Draco outside the Broomstick the day before yesterday!" Harry said, his voice tight with rage.

George's stomach did an unpleasant flip. "Wait - the d-day before yesterday?" he asked, and Harry nodded. George and Fred exchanged a glance, and George looked away, schooling his features into blankness.

"Yeah, at the bloody Broomstick," Harry said. "We had dinner at Fred and Anne's last weekend and Alec mentioned me picking up Draco from his debrief in front of the shop. Nobody else knew-"

"All right, fine," Fred said defiantly. "So the paper got a picture of you. So what? I'm sure Ron told you what I said back in the summer-"

"You bloody-"

"I told everybody we should do this. I don't see why you're so upset. The papers've always run bits about you; they'll keep doing it till long after you're dead." Fred shrugged. "Besides, it doesn't actually show Malfoy-"

"This time! Now that the press knows I'm dating someone - and there's Aurors and prison guards and Ministry people who know I'm dating Draco - it's just a matter of time before somebody talks, and-"

"So?" Fred said harshly. "He'll get the idea that he doesn't want the papers to actually show his ugly face next time, and scarper off."

Something in the bag from the Apothecary abruptly blew up in a puff of acrid purple smoke.

"Where the FUCK do you get off deciding that?! You had no fucking right!!"

"If he scares off that easily," Fred said coolly, waving his wand to dispel the smoke, "then he's not exactly worth-"

"You have _no_ idea what he's worth!" Harry shouted at him, and George quickly brought out his own wand to set a containment spell around the remaining Apothecary items. "You've no idea how much he's changed, or what he's like with Alec, or what he thinks about any of what he did - because you've never bothered to ask!! You self-righteous prick!"

"I don't need to ask, Harry! Your boyfriend is a convicted criminal. His record speaks for itself. And if you're going to try to convince me he's reformed, maybe you've forgotten he just spent six weeks in prison, again!" He broke off, coughing. "Now get your fucking magic under control before you blow up anything else!" he snapped at Harry.

Harry whipped out his wand and shoved it at George impatiently. "You know exactly why Draco went to-"

" _Petrificus Totalus_ too complex for him, was it? What about _Protego_? _Muffliato_? D'you honestly believe the only option he had was one of the few spells he's actually not supposed to use?"

"He panicked!"

"And reverted to form!" Fred shot back. "It's when the pressure's on that you see what people are really made of, and your boyfriend is mostly composed of cowardly shite!"

Fred literally didn't see what hit him, as George's instinctive but ill-timed warning shout distracted him and made Harry's punch hit the side of his jaw as opposed to his mouth, Harry's probable target. Fred reeled back, catching himself against the wall and swearing loudly, then came back at Harry with a vicious blow to the ribs, which doubled Harry over briefly before he straightened and started to launch himself at Fred again - and George finally got the presence of mind to react.

" _Protego!_ " he shouted, and Harry smacked against the shield between him and Fred. "S-stop it! FRED! _Expelliarmus!_ "

Suddenly he had both their wands in his hand, and was gaping at them as they glared at each other, Fred's hand on his jaw and Harry's breathing laboured, a glowing shield separating them.

"What the _hell_ is the m-matter with you?!" he shouted at them.

"You don't know him!" Harry raged at Fred, ignoring George. "You don't know anything about him!"

"And you think you do? He's playing you like a-"

"Shut up!!" George snapped. "Both of you! _Silencio! Gelium!_ "

He took a deep breath and got a hold of himself as they both glared at him, silenced and held in place by his spells. "B-bloody hell," he said in disbelief. "That's a s-spell I use on Frank and Graham when th-they're fighting over the last biscuit!" He waited a bit longer, forcing them to cool off. "Now. If I l-let you go, can you act like big boys? Or should I s-send you both to bed without any pudding?"

They nodded sullenly. He took a deep breath and released them.

"You don't know Draco," Harry began again, somewhat more restrained.

"I may not know what he's like in bed," Fred said disdainfully, "but I _do_ know enough to know he's not somebody Alec should be with. And you should know that too. You've got a responsibility to Alec, and it should be bigger than your responsibility to your prick!"

George swallowed hard as Harry's eyes went icy and his lips thinned. "Don't even try to play that card with me, Fred! If we're going to get into who's a responsible parent, I could point out that you're the one with the daughter who scares the shit out of everybody around her, and maybe if you used a bit better discipline on her-"

Fred flushed, stung. "Just because I don't-"

"-I _won't_ , because she's your daughter and I'm not going to second-guess how you raise her! I expect the same fucking courtesy from you, but apparently that's too much to ask for!"

George shook his head, "Harry, he's n-not saying you're a-"

"He knows exactly what he's saying," Harry shot back, not bothering to look at George.

"It's just that we c-care about Alec, and-"

"Fred can speak for himself," Harry snapped. He took a deep breath, obviously struggling for restraint. "Look, Fred," he said, more calmly. "I know how much you care about Alec. And I know I wouldn't have got through Alec's first year without all of you, and I know what you in particular did, even though you were mourning Ginny too. And believe me, I'm grateful to you." He narrowed his eyes. "But don't you ever second-guess what kind of father I am again, and don't you ever even think of doing anything like this again. EVER."

"I'm not-"

"I have done my level best to be a good father to Alec. Don't you fucking dare decide you suddenly know what's best for him, just because I'm seeing someone you don't approve of."

"This has nothing to do with me approving-"

"Because for your information, Draco's bloody good to Alec! My son finally has somebody who understands him, and I am not going to piss that away because _you_ never got over George getting cursed!"

Fred's eyes narrowed. "This isn't about George-"

"I am sorry George got cursed!" Harry went on forcefully. "I am sorry Bill got bitten! And I am really, _really_ fucking sorry Ginny died! But you are not the only wizard in the world who had people you cared about hurt by Voldemort and his supporters, and I am not going to let you ruin what I've got with Draco just because _you_ never managed to get past any of it." Harry stepped around George's shield spell and took his wand back. "And if you ever mess with Draco again, you will fucking well regret it. If you _ever_ threaten his privacy again I will leave my wand at home and just beat you to a pulp with my bare hands. All right? Is that fucking crystal clear?"

Fred's eyes flicked over to George, who gave an infinitesimal nod. Fred cleared his throat. "Crystal."

"Fine." Harry tucked his wand away. "You bloody well owe Draco an apology, too. The only reason I won't insist you give him one is that you'd just insult him. And believe it or not, he doesn't need or deserve that."

He turned and headed out of the flat. They heard his footsteps going down the stairs and, a moment later, the crack of Apparition as he passed the store wards.

George let out his breath, and Fred sat down heavily at the table, putting his head in his hands. George pulled up a chair and joined him.

"I may have to kill her," Fred said softly after a long silence.

"I t-take it she didn't tell you," George said quietly.

"No."

"D-did you have any idea what she was going to do?"

"No. She just said she'd join the rest of us after she'd picked up some supplies."

George nodded.

"And before you ask, _no_ , there's no way I'm telling anyone," Fred said. "You and me and Demelza are the only ones who know we spent all day in Surrey on Wednesday."

"All except f-for Anne," George said grimly. "Harry'll probably-"

"Tell Ron, and Ron'll tell Hermione," Fred said, nodding. "It won't go farther than that. I hope."

"If it does, Mum's g-going-"

"To kill me, I know. Better me than Anne."

George blew out his breath, and Fred looked up at him seriously.

"I'm right and you know it. Me, she'll yell bloody blue murder at - might get a Howler, even - but Anne? There's no way I want Anne being treated like Fleur was the first few years she was with Bill."

"You d-don't think she's-"

"Earned it?" Fred chuckled humorlessly. "Maybe. But if Mum ever finds out it was Anne, she'll..." He shook his head. "She's never quite forgiven me for marrying her in the first place. And I bloody well have not earned the 'I told you you shouldn't have married a Slytherin' speech."

"D'you think she m-might have a point?"

Fred rolled his eyes. "I'm sure Anne just was trying to do what she thought was right by Alec. You know she's... you know how she gets over Death Eaters. It wasn't easy for her to be one of the only Slytherins on our side. She goes a bit mental."

George barely stopped himself from pointing out that Fred describing anybody else as "a bit mental" over the topic of Death Eaters was a bit like Percy calling anybody else a crashing bore. Not the time. "Would you have stopped her, if you'd known?"

"Yeah. Probably why she didn't tell me," he said, rubbing his forehead. George got up and took out a bottle of Firewhiskey, managing to pour two glasses with only minimal difficulty despite the darkness of the room. Fred nodded his thanks, knocking back a glass.

"You'll have to t-talk to her," George said firmly.

"Yeah. Merlin. That'll be a joy." He ran a hand through his hair and held out his glass, looking up as George felt around for the bottle unsteadily. "Oh bloody hell you can't see a thing. Sorry." He waved his wand and Summoned a pair of George's indoor glasses.

"Thanks." George blinked as the glasses went on and the room lost its disorienting blurry dimness.

"You were working in the lab? How's the second variation?"

"Needs more asphodel."

"I got some."

"N-not any more. I think that's what Harry exploded."

Fred swirled his Firewhiskey around the bottom of the glass. "Does it make everyone talk in limericks? Or is that just for us?"

"Demelza got acrostic."

"Brilliant! Wonder what Percy would get."

"Mine even w-worked my stammer in. Demelza almost died laughing... wait, what w-was it I ended up saying...

_The next time we're f-feeling frisky  
Remember that twins can be risky  
Hermione's appalled  
They've ch-charmed her cat bald  
They're all yours; I'm off for Firewhiskey._

"Oh, _brilliant_!" Fred grinned, eyes sparkling. "The stammer part's no commercial use whatsoever, but brilliant nonetheless!"

George chuckled, then sobered. "We're going to drive him away, you know."

Fred's smile disappeared. "He said he would choose us over-"

"That was after they'd been together three months. It's been six now."

"Yeah, and six weeks of that with Malfoy in Azkaban," Fred sneered. "That should give anybody pause, I don't care how love-stupid they are."

George shook his head. "They're becoming a family."

Fred set his jaw. "They're not."

"You don't want to s-see it because you don't want him to replace Ginny. But there's bugger-all you can d-do about it."

"He's not replacing her. Even if he was, I wouldn't care, Alec needs somebody - just not Draco Malfoy."

"That's g-getting old, Fred."

"Shut up."

George swirled the dregs of his own Firewhiskey, staring at the patterns of flame in the glass. Bloody hell, arguments with Fred were draining.

"Did you think I had?" Fred asked, his voice low. George raised his eyebrows. "Taken the picture," Fred clarified.

George knocked back the rest of his Firewhiskey and shook his head. "I d-didn't know what to think, mate."

"I wouldn't-"

"I can't say any more. D-don't you think that says something, that even _I_ c-can't tell what you're likely to do? D-doesn't that worry you?"

"No."

"It should."

Fred stared at him. "Doesn't it bother you that Malfoy's not rotting in Azkaban like he should be, learning to paint with drool?"

"No."

"Fuck, George." Fred shook his head in disbelief. "You're - you still can't talk right. You're almost blind indoors. And you sit there and tell me it doesn't bother you-"

"You've ch-changed a lot more than I have."

Fred pressed his lips together and looked away.

George sighed. "I kept thinking, how could you d-do that to Harry? And Alec? And b-bloody hell, even Ben? I c-can't even understand how Anne could do it. Ben's just a l-little kid, Fred. A sweet little kid."

"Of course Ben's a sweet little kid," Fred said impatiently, "and you can't _not_ like him, but that doesn't make a damned bit of difference in how I feel about his father. Or how Anne feels about him either."

"Come on, mate, Malfoy's raising him; at l-least some of what you like in Ben is d-due to Malfoy."

Fred snorted. "Listen, by that logic, Walburga Black was probably a sweet old biddy and the Dursleys were just well-meaning and tragically misunderstood. You can't look at the child and automatically see the parents."

George rubbed his eyes, feeling a headache coming on. He got up, put the Firewhiskey away. "So you're sure, you d-don't want anybody but us to know it w-was Anne?"

"I'm sure."

He nodded thoughtfully. "I guess I can understand that. I m-mean, the whole family would go mental on Anne. You'd p-probably have to leave her."

Fred's eyes widened. "What?"

"Well if it's the whole f-family against just Anne-" he began reasonably.

"And my kids!" Fred said, and George shrugged. "She's my wife! I'm pissed as hell at her, but - oh sod off," he broke off. "It's not the same."

This was, George felt, one of the upsides of having had to learn to speak again, and still having a stammer. It had taught George the value of silence. Sometimes it really did work out better if the person you were talking to had time to come to conclusions on their own.

"If you-"

"Had to choose, I'd choose her, yeah," Fred said sourly. "I caught the analogy, thanks."

"Even if it w-was her or me?" George asked.

Fred looked away. "Even then," he said quietly. "But it's not the same with Malfoy."

"Maybe not right n-now. It will be soon."

"No."

George put a comforting hand on Fred's shoulder, reflecting that another good side of having a stutter was that it forced him to consider ahead of time what was worth making the effort to say out loud, and what wasn't. And this... wasn't worth it. He could probably talk till he was blue in the face and Fred would still refuse to see that he was wrong, that he was letting his own problems affect Harry, that Anne had done the same thing, and that they both needed to conquer their own demons or they would damage themselves - and Harry and Alec - a lot more than they would damage Malfoy.

George sighed again. It was so bloody simple, really. Harry was head over heels in love with Malfoy, and Fred and the rest of the family were just going to have to accept it. Nobody went off the way Harry had done today for somebody they were only shagging for a lark. Nobody looked the way Harry did when he spoke of Malfoy if it didn't mean anything. Of course Fred and Anne couldn't see that - Harry wasn't stupid, and the whole Malfoy Topic was a huge unmentionable with most of the family - but knowing George didn't care had made Harry loosen up with him. He'd talked about spending time with Malfoy. Mentioned how worried he was about how Malfoy was dealing with having been in prison again. How much he wanted to help him, and how helpless he felt. How difficult it had been, being with Malfoy after he'd told Ben about his past.

"Going back to the lab?" Fred asked.

George nodded. "You're going to-"

"Talk to Anne," Fred said heavily, nodding. "Keep your couch free for tonight. I may need it."

"It's always there. Though r-really, it should be Anne sleeping on the couch tonight."

Fred laughed bitterly. "Oh you're welcome to argue that to her if it comes to that. Ah, no, never mind, bad idea," he corrected immediately, and George chuckled.

"D'you want me to heal-" he gestured at Fred's jaw, now a distinct reddish tinge.

"No thanks. Might make her feel guilty; that's bound to help some."

"For what it's worth, I r-really think you should tell Harry-"

"That it wasn't me?" Fred shook his head. "No. Wouldn't do any good."

George shrugged, letting the topic go, and watched Fred step into the Floo.

And a string of images came unbidden to his mind, all things Fred and Anne would probably never see, of Malfoy at Harry's house one weekend when George had dropped by with a present for Alec from Wheezes. Alec's face glowing as he showed Malfoy what George had given him. Malfoy hugging Alec, making a joking comment to Harry, and blushing, actually blushing, when Harry made some low response George didn't catch. Harry grinning at Malfoy, unselfconsciously holding his hand, kissing him in the kitchen while Alec and Ben played with the toy George had brought.

Maybe it should've felt nauseating, seeing that. And he was fairly sure Ron probably still went green at the mere thought of any of it. But it was good to see Harry happy again. Living again.

He picked up the bag of Apothecary purchases, and started back down the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW, the poetry-inducing Wheeze idea is not mine. It sprang from the imagination of scrtkpr, whose Poetic Justice deserves a special place in the annals of H/D fic :)
> 
> Also: There is now an "Extra" attached to this chapter. It takes place immediately after the chapter, and can be found at Ember to Ember Time Stamp Requests: Weasley v. Weasley.


	8. December

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks hugely to scrtkpr, for going above and beyond with this chapter, wielding the pointy beta-stick with style, and indulging my neediness ;)

**_Date:_** _December 12  
_**_From:_** _hjpottergringotts.wz  
_**_To:_** _malfoydglobalcafe.ie  
Looks like it'll be only me at the concert this Sunday. Ron says break a leg._

**Date:** December 13  
**From:** malfoydglobalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpottergringotts.wz  
Literally or figuratively?

**_Date:_** _December 14  
_**_From:_** _hjpottergringotts.wz  
_**_To:_** _malfoydglobalcafe.ie  
Figuratively. He's trying._

* * *

**Sunday, December 16**

Harry groaned and threw his head back. "Stop, I'm too close," he gasped, and Draco gave him one last lick before moving up to kiss him feverishly. He pulled back, breathing hard, then smirked at Harry as he reached for the lube and applied it, careful not to stimulate Harry even further. He closed his eyes as Draco positioned himself and guided Harry inside him. Harry covered his mouth with his hand, biting down and concentrating on something, anything, that would take away the almost overwhelming need to come.

"All right?" Draco asked, chuckling.

"Yeah," Harry murmured. "Just...oh don'tdothat," he gasped as Draco's muscles tightened around him. "God, don't _do_ that, unless you want me to embarrass myself."

Draco laughed. "No, fun as that would be, I'd like to get something out of this experi- oh," he gasped as Harry moved within him and apparently hit the magic spot.

"Mmm, you were saying?" Harry smirked as Draco groaned and arched his back, completely at a loss for words.

"What was that?" Harry moved his hips slowly.

Draco bit his lip, throwing his head back. "God, talk about embarrassing myself..." he moaned.

Harry thrust up into him, slowly, watching Draco's eyelids squeeze shut and his mouth open slightly, fingers tightening on Harry's shoulders, pulling Harry up into a sitting position, arms going around him.

"Please...god, please, just...harder..."

Fuck, that whisper was so incredibly hot, as Draco forgot himself and lost the cool distance and detachment he normally wore during the day and just became need, want, sensation.

Slow down, make this last...

Harry broke off their kiss to rest his head on Draco's shoulder a moment, breathing rapidly, then nudged him.

"Over?" Draco murmured, and Harry nodded. They lay back down and Draco moved onto his back, Harry settling and sinking into him. Harry drew in a shaky breath as Draco's heat surrounded him, and he realized that there was no need to go slow any more - no way to do so, either, because Draco was quickening his own movements, legs wrapping around Harry, head thrown back, neck curving, eyes closed, gasping his name. Clenching and releasing rhythmically, silently reaching completion and _Merlin_ , he was incredible, and about as easy to resist as the tide, and sensation flooded over Harry and he cried out, emptying himself in a long, pulsing wave.

And then it was over and he was panting over Draco, braced on his arms, body humming with the buzz of a spectacular shag. He leaned down, catching Draco's lips with his. Ghosting kisses over his cheek, his neck, as he slowly withdrew. Draco's fingers reaching into his hair, hands around his shoulders, pulling him closer, their lips meeting in passing as they kissed each other gently.

It was in moments like this that it was so difficult to not give voice to the sappy sentiments within him, things he wasn't sure were even real or true. So much tenderness towards Draco, such a need to offer and ask for so much more than this. To say the hell with the rest of the world and just pull each other close. Forget who they were and who they were responsible for, forget that there was a whole world outside this room that didn't want them to be together, didn't want them to be happy.

No, not outside this room. Outside this flat. Ben and Alec would be quite happy to see them spend the rest of their lives together.

And it wasn't a world that didn't want _them_ to be happy. It was a world that didn't want _Draco_ to be happy. There was a difference, though in moments like this it was hard to see it.

They lay down again, Harry caressing Draco's cheek, resting his head against Draco's shoulder, sighing as they nestled together, struggling to control the urge to say stupid things. Things he'd only ever said to Ginny, things that probably weren't really appropriate between him and Draco.

"What is it?" Draco said, sounding amused.

"What's what?"

"There's a distinct sound of Gryffindor thinking going on," Draco said, chuckling. "It's very loud."

Harry laughed.

"Well?"

"Nothing," Harry said, smiling. "Just wondering."

"What?"

"Erm, why...why you seem to prefer bottoming now," he said, grabbing a random topic. Although come to think of it, he had wondered about that, a bit.

"Why?"

"Nothing, just that the first few months we were together, I just assumed you always preferred to top, but then you all of a sudden were all right with switching around. Just wondered why."

Draco shrugged. "I don't know. I always wondered why you wanted to bottom the first time we were together. It's not something a lot of men would think of doing right away."

"Wasn't right away," Harry pointed out. "We'd been running on nothing but hand jobs for too bloody long by that point, remember?"

"I try not to," Draco said dryly. "Had you wanted to, before?"

"You mean, before, when I was married?" Harry frowned slightly. "I don't think so. Though I was pretty young - I mean, I was a widower by age twenty-one. I was still at the stage where having sex at all was a fantastic thing, so I think my fantasies tended towards doing more of the same."

"What about after?"

"Erm." Harry suddenly realized this topic was a little more intimate than he'd really meant it to be. "After...yeah, I suppose so, after a while, but, you know, circumstances and all...the couple times I was with Muggle blokes it wouldn't have really been..." he trailed off, not sure how to answer Draco's question. Or if he even had an answer. Because he'd certainly thought a lot about what he wanted to do with Draco, but...it was so hard to express, the feelings he'd had, the need to give himself to Draco, fully, to leap before he looked. It didn't really go into words. Not words that wouldn't sound stupid, anyway. He cleared his throat. "What about when you did?"

"Did what?"

"The first time you let someone else..." he said, and inexplicably found himself blushing. Silly question, but Draco had once admitted to being terrified of Muggles before ending up living with them. Somehow Harry couldn't quite imagine him getting close enough to one to let himself be topped.

"The first time I bottomed?" Draco asked, his voice curiously flat.

Harry shrugged. "You don't have to tell me, I just wondered. It takes some trust, that's all."

"You were there."

"Where?"

"The first time I did."

Harry pulled back slightly. "What?" He blinked at Draco. "I was... I was your first?"

"Yeah."

"The day you came back from Azkaban?"

"Yeah."

Harry lay back, stunned. "Why the hell didn't you tell me? Did I hurt you?"

"Not much chance of that," Draco said dryly. "You were treating me like I was made of glass."

"But...why didn't you..."

"I didn't want you to pity me. I didn't want...I wanted to not feel Azkaban. I don't know what else, I don't remember." Draco had gone stiff in his arms. "And I'd rather not keep talking about it, thanks," he said, sitting up. "We should be getting up anyway."

Harry suppressed a sigh. Nothing new. Draco and Azkaban, nightmares and mood swings and unexpected issues that often made him draw back, pulled his lips into a thin, tense line. And throughout it all, not a bloody word. "It wasn't a picnic." "Not as much fun as the brochures would have you believe." Never really letting Harry in. The last week had been particularly enjoyable, as the date for the end of Draco's ban on magic approached.

Harry sat up, rubbing a hand over his hair, thinking about cutting it. It felt amazing when Draco ran his hands through it, but it was a pain now, halfway down his back. He glanced over at Draco. "Will you be keeping the beard, after you've got your wand back?"

Draco grimaced. "Not bloody likely. The moment I can do the glamour, it's off."

"I don't mind it."

"I do." Draco's voice still had that 'I don't want to go into this' tone, and Harry didn't know whether he didn't like the look of the beard, or the feel, or the fact that it was a reminder that he couldn't do magic.

He sighed again, glancing at the clock, and frowned. Seven o'clock. "Wish your wand would get here. The ban was supposed to be over at midnight, wasn't it?"

"It's supposed to be over when they say it's over," Draco snapped.

Harry blew out his breath. "You know, I'm trying to help. I don't know what I've done wrong this time, but I'm bloody well trying to help, and you're not making it easy."

"What should I do to make it easy, then?" Draco said, irritated.

"Talking to me once in a while would be nice."

"About what?"

"I don't know what any of this means to you, Draco!" He rubbed his forehead in frustration. "I know Azkaban was bad, I figure it hurt to have your past come back at you like it did, but for god's sake, you never say anything-"

"I'm not a woman, I don't-"

"God, Draco, I'm not a woman either! I'm not asking you to give me a detailed account of everything you feel. Just a hint so I can not make things worse."

"I'm not much for talking about any of this," Draco said tightly. "Managed to avoid talking about it to my son long enough."

"Well, you got through that somehow."

"I wouldn't have had to, if-" he broke off, looking away. There was a long silence.

_If you weren't with me,_ Harry finished for him.

"How do you think it feels? Paying for things I did when I was sixteen?" Draco said quietly. "I was doing what I had been taught to do, believing what I had been raised to believe. And I was sixteen," he whispered. "Fucking sixteen years old. What the hell did I know?"

Harry's stomach clenched. He'd been sixteen too. And made very different choices.

As if reading his mind, Draco added bitterly, "I know. It's not an excuse."

"You were trying to protect the people you loved. For some of what you did, anyway."

"And I didn't care who I endangered while doing it."

Harry swallowed hard, seeing vivid flashes of Katie Bell floating up in the air, Ron drinking poisoned mead, Bill Weasley's ravaged face.

"And now here we are, and it's ten years later," Draco said hollowly. "And I'm still putting people in danger. Including my own son."

"There's people who would say the same thing about me, about what I'm doing to Alec by letting you into our lives. I don't have to believe them."

Draco looked away. "What about when this comes out? It'll come out, eventually. And when it does, what'll-"

"I'll be with you," Harry interrupted.

Draco laughed cynically. "Oh really."

"You and Ben are...you told me, back in May, that you didn't want me to do this on a whim, and I told you it wasn't a whim."

"Not a whim to me either," Draco said quietly.

"So trust me. Please." Draco's expression was unreadable. "I know; you trusted me that it would be OK to go to Brigid's Cross, and it wasn't, and I can't tell you to trust me about publicity. But just...trust me that I'll still be there after everything dies down and the papers have a new scandal to talk about."

"You'd tell the whole wizarding world to go to hell for my sake?" Draco chuckled cynically. "A little hard to believe that when you can't even say it to your in-laws."

Harry drew in his breath, immediately defensive. "That's different."

"Of course."

"You don't understand. The Weasleys...you don't understand."

And he didn't. And Harry couldn't really explain it, explain the images that went through his head when he thought about them.

Arthur walking with Alec for hours so that Harry could rest. Fleur singing to him softly in French. Ron and Hermione and Percy by his side as the experienced parents taught them all how to change nappies, how to burp a baby. Percy working out a schedule for Alec's care, keeping the press away from them like a lion defending its cubs. All of it so quiet, so unusual in any gathering of Weasleys.

All of them there for when Harry needed to break down, looking at him with worry in their own reddened eyes. He'd never confided in any of them - hadn't known how to - but Bill's silent offer of a handkerchief, Fred's gruff "All right there, mate?" as Harry struggled to deal with waves of grief, had meant more than he could express.

In the heartbreak and despair of that time, the Weasleys had closed ranks around him. And not just for the first months; for the entirety of Alec's life, they'd been there, loving Alec even when they couldn't understand him at all. How could he express to Draco how much it had meant to him?

Molly wiping away her tears while making whooshing broomstick noises with a spoonful of baby food as she brought it to Alec's mouth.

George simply picking Alec up and feeding him to give Harry a chance to compose himself, the day he'd found Harry dully holding Alec, tears running down his face, unable to respond to his cries.

He pushed the images out of his mind.

"Look. You...you said I wouldn't choose you over them and that's what I said, too, back in July. When Fred outed us to them. But now..."

"Yes?" Draco raised a cool eyebrow at him.

"I would."

Draco gave a small huff of disbelieving laughter. "Really. You'd defy them? Your adoptive family?"

"Nobody who really matters would ask me to, and Alec would still be welcome there. It might get uncomfortable with a few people, but it - it's not the same as it was back in May or even in July."

"How heartwarming."

"Look, they're important to me, all right? You're dismissing them like I'm just putting my former in-laws ahead of you, but they...they were there for me when I needed them the most. When Alec was a baby...you don't understand."

"I don't understand what it's like to be alone with a child?"

"Not like that. Ginny _died_ , d'you understand that? I thought we'd grow old together, have lots of kids, and then suddenly she was just _gone_. It hurt like nothing else. And they...they were wrecked, she was their baby, the only girl - Molly cried every day for months - but they put that aside to help me, and they never blamed me.

"Ginny's parents took me in for weeks. Ron and Hermione practically moved into my flat after that. Fleur and Anne nursed Alec. And Fred and George...you don't know how hard it was for them. Ginny was their favourite. I've never seen George so devastated, and Fred - the only time I'd seen him worse was when George was at St. Mungo's. But they took Alec out all the time, and played with him, and made sure he grew up hearing laughter even when they didn't feel so bloody humorous themselves. D'you think I could've walked out on all of that when we'd been together for two months? Especially when you didn't even want anybody to know we were together at all?"

Draco's expression was still hard and closed. "So you're saying that now you would choose me over these saints you call family?"

"I - it's just-" Harry blew out his breath in frustration. Five minutes ago they'd been as close as he'd ever felt to anybody. Like touching one another's souls, almost. Now...

When they held each other, and moved together, when it was just about sex it was fucking fantastic. And when it was just them and the kids together, that was wonderful too, in all the ways he wanted it to be.

But then the rest of the world came in.

"Would you rather I did? Reject all of them? Would that be enough for you? I couldn't live with doing that to my son."

"And I don't think I can live with doing what I'm doing to my own son."

Harry stared at him.

"Did you see how that woman looked at him at Brigid's Cross? Every day I'm with you makes it more likely that I'll be exposed and then so will he, and-"

"Fred said he wouldn't-"

"He's not the only - maybe I don't want to put my son in danger, have you thought of that?"

"Maybe you're looking for excuses to end this!" Harry snapped. "Look, whether you're with me or not, if you let Ben near the wizarding world, some day he will be in danger. You have to decide if Ben is a Muggle or a wizard - if you are a Muggle or a wizard. And if you decide you're both wizards, you have to live with that and know that he'll have to live with it too. This is your world too." He paused, steadied himself. "Besides, I'm a curse-breaker, and a damned good one. So's Bill. You know he's already worked on stuff for Ben-"

"So you two can single-handedly protect him?"

"And the Aurors have to protect you, and you've got the stag-charm, there's anti-revenge-curse wards on you both, and even for non-magical revenge-"

"None of those stop words, do they? Anything short of physical damage and-"

"What d'you expect? Do you want to keep Ben hidden until he's at Hogwarts? D'you think it'll be any easier for him to deal with this during his first year of school? He's going to have to face it sooner or later. Having me in the picture makes it more complicated, but-"

Draco scowled darkly. "Buggers it up completely, is more like it."

"You're over-reacting, Draco! Yeah, it'll probably be hard on him if anything comes out, but you're over-reacting-"

"Really? To what? To the idea of my name and face being splashed all over the paper? Being treated like I'm lower than dirt?"

"Look-"

"Having somebody threaten Ben again, me going to Azkaban again? Sitting there for days wondering if I'm ever going to get out again, like last time?"

"Wait, what?!" Harry's eyebrows rose. "They decided your sentence about an hour after you were taken away!"

"Well nobody bothered to tell me," Draco said bitterly. "I didn't know if I'd ever see Ben again until they transferred me to Azkaban three days later."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"What did you want to know? That it was humiliating, being in there? Being left alone for hours, without even a shred of clothing, while they decided where they were going to put me? That I felt powerless, and scared for Ben? That there was nothing to do except try to keep from going crazy and tell myself that I'd get out some day?"

"I didn't know-"

"Shut up! You want me to share? You want to know what I'm 'over-reacting' to?" He glared at Harry. "I don't know, Harry, it's hard to tell. Maybe it's feeling like a fucking Squib, _again_. Or maybe it's describing in great detail every single sexual encounter we had, because the Auror doing the questioning decided to humiliate me and I couldn't fucking well stop. Maybe it's seeing my son lose the first memory he ever had of being in a wizarding place, because a five-year-old shouldn't be expected to have to deal with seeing his father dragged off like that. Maybe it's knowing that it can happen again at any time. Maybe it's seeing that bitch look at Ben like _he_ was dirt." Draco stopped, biting his lip and looking away. "Maybe it's sitting in that fucking cell for six weeks thinking I deserve it, because I made the _wrong_ fucking choices, and listened to my parents when I shouldn't have and followed that bastard when I shouldn't have, and I put Ben in danger because I wanted to go back to the wizarding world and I deserve it! Maybe it's thinking that I will have to deal with my fucking past forever - and then remembering that a lot of people'll never get past what my kind did. Bill Weasley will never have his face back, George Weasley will never have his speech or sight back the way they were - hell, Alec'll never have a mother and you'll never have your wife back, and all of you have to live with that shit, when none of you even did anything wrong, so why am I whining about being spat on?" Draco paused, breathing hard. "Do you want to hear more?"

"Draco-" Harry said faintly, his mind reeling. "I - you know I'd try to help, whatever happened; I already did, when-"

"You think I'd want that again? You think it's easy to have to be grateful to you - you paid my rent, took care of my son-"

"I don't expect you to be grateful - you'd do the same for me."

"But I don't have to, do I?"

"That doesn't-"

"Daddy?"

Harry and Draco froze.

"Daddy-"

"It's - it's all right, Alec," Harry called out, his heart sinking, as he Summoned a shirt. Draco made a dismissive motion at Harry and went to the door.

"It's all right, Alec," he said, his voice steady as he pulled on a pair of shorts. "D'you want me to tuck you back in?"

"It's...it's morning," Alec said timidly.

Draco opened the door. "Then I'll help you get dressed, all right?"

"Were you fighting?" Alec asked, looking at Harry.

"We're not any more, don't worry," Draco said gently. "Come on little man, let's get you dressed."

Harry lay back, his mind miserably running the same tired track it seemed to go on too often these days. The arguments were more frequent, the lashing out more pronounced. And the things Draco had just said...Harry wondered how long he'd been holding all of that in, wondered how many other unpleasant revelations he might have. He glanced at Ginny's portrait and couldn't help feeling she was looking at him reproachfully.

He looked up as Draco came back into the room, very determinedly not looking at Harry, pulling on his trousers and shirt.

He got up, approached Draco, put a hand on his shoulder. Draco stilled, not looking back at him.

"Are we done here?"

"Alec's up," Draco said tightly. "We can't talk now."

"I know. But are we..." Harry suddenly realized his question could be taken two ways. And he realized he really didn't know which way he meant it.

Draco's expression was closed.

"Please. Just give me more time."

Draco's eyes met his. "More time for what?"

Harry shook his head helplessly. "Just... more time. Just give me more time. Please." He hated that he sounded so needy and weak, that he had no idea how to fix this, and not much to hope for but more borrowed time.

* * *

Harry was starting to really regret this choir business.

The concert was excellent. Several Dublin choirs, singing Christmas and "other seasonal" songs from many different musical traditions, which Harry could now recognize, thanks to being immersed in music talk most nights and every weekend. Draco and Kara's choir had sung [Balulalow](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27817942/chapters/68820234) and [a spiritual Draco detested](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27817942/chapters/68820234), with a solo by Kara. The children's choir had sung a [Hebrew song](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27817942/chapters/68820234), and now the massed choirs were about to sing [Handel's Hallelujah Chorus](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27817942/chapters/68820234) with the audience. And Harry was wishing he'd never brought Alec into any of this.

Right, Alec. Alec was going to be watching him, seeing if he joined in the singing.

He smiled as Alec beamed at him from the middle of the alto section and nudged Kara beside him, and he could see Alec saying "My dad's singing too!" as Kara grinned. It was a gorgeous song, and Harry suddenly wondered if Handel had been a wizard too.

Probably not; Draco would've mentioned it.

Then they were at the sectional part Alec loved so much, which the four of them could sing at home, because Harry had learned the bass part so that he could sing it along with the other basses in the audience and onstage tonight.

_And He shall reign for ever and ever_

Now the tenors were joining, Draco's part and Harry's interweaving. Then Kara and Alec and the altos, and finally Ben with the sopranos, a song older than any of them, Ben's face shining as his voice soared above them all.

So wonderful and awful, seeing them all up there. His family. The four of them - five, including Kara - _worked_ , when they weren't being torn apart by Weasleys and others.

But things weren't going well. This morning's argument was only part of it.

He'd felt so close to all the Weasleys, for so long. Percy wasn't exactly a best mate, but he and Fred had been friends for sixteen years, and it wasn't until now that he realized just how much he'd valued that friendship, now that it was effectively gone. They were polite enough around Alec, but what Fred had done and said still burned, and Harry couldn't just forgive and forget it.

The Weasleys were never going to accept Draco.

The Aurors were never going to let Draco be.

He and Ginny had vowed to give Alec a happy home when they were expecting him. Unplanned and initially unwelcome, they'd promised themselves he would nonetheless always feel loved. And then Harry had vowed it again, after Ginny was gone.

He sighed as he gazed at Alec, singing so happily onstage. Thought of Ginny's accusing look this morning. How would she look at him if Alec lost this?

The Weasleys were family. He loved them all, even the one who'd betrayed him. But if they couldn't accept Draco, they couldn't accept Harry, and that was that. If he had to make a choice...

The problem was that Draco could also make choices, and they might not be the same as Harry's.

_Hallelujah_

He joined the enthusiastic applause as the last glorious chord ended, then hurried to the backstage area, waiting patiently until the four of them emerged, talking and laughing.

"It's enough to make any pagan doubt the Goddess," Kara was saying enthusiastically.

"What?" asked Harry.

Draco laughed, gave Harry a quick kiss. "Kara always gets a crisis of faith around Christmas."

"Why's that?"

"Aye, lad, ye canna tell me you don't feel it!" she said, laughing. "The worship of Jesus and the Lord above and the Virgin Birth and it's all _glorious_. Almost makes me want to call up me Da and tell him he was right all along." Draco laughed. "I said _almost_ ," she smirked. "Oh, the little ones wanted to meet the harpist before she goes, come on, boys," she said, and they rushed off.

"What is it?" Draco asked, as Harry cocked his head to the side, gazing at him. Draco was smiling, energized, almost glowing, his newly clean-shaven face just begging to be stroked. Harry's heart skipped a beat. He had a sudden memory of what Ginny had called "After-Game High," both of them glowing and zipping with energy after a match.

He glanced around. "Here," he said, and pulled Draco into an alcove, kissing him. Draco startled a bit, but returned the kiss with heat.

"What, in here?" he asked breathlessly. "What if someone comes in?"

"What if they do?" Harry answered, waving his wand to spell the curtains closed, pulling Draco closer.

"This is...not very...professional..." Draco trailed off, then seemed to decide to throw caution to the wind and started to unbutton Harry's shirt.

Damn, yes, that energy, recklessness, the high pushing the body for more. Fumbles in the dark of the Quidditch changeroom flitted through Harry's head. He yanked on Draco's shirt, pulled him close, melded their lips together.

It didn't matter what was going on - the future, the past, none of it mattered, not when they were together like this, and Draco might be doubting their future, but he didn't seem to have any doubts about their present, pulling him close, one thigh between both of Harry's, grinding them together. He was hard - might've been hard onstage, too, in the rush of singing that glorious song at the end, the body's simple reaction to excitement.

Draco's mouth moved quickly, Draco nuzzling into Harry's neck, giving his earlobe a gentle tug, and Harry gasped as Draco's hand curved around his arse.

"Nguh."

"Eloquent and to the point," Draco chuckled, his voice low, and Harry undid the top buttons of Draco's white shirt, feeling the heat radiating off him, heart beating rapidly and breath coming faster. Draco murmured something and Harry sucked in his breath as his shirt suddenly hung free, open, his fly undone.

Draco smirked at him. "Forgot I got my magic back, did you?" He chuckled. "I've missed that spell."

Harry's sarcastic reply was lost as Draco's fingers closed around him, and he gasped, caressing Draco's smooth cheek with his own. "No, didn't forget," he whispered, then gave up talking as they thrust against each other. Hands stroking roughly, lips working together, both panting and pushing towards a single goal - and then they were there, and Draco was groaning, his body going still as he pulsed over Harry's hand and Harry bit back a swear word as his own climax rushed through him, with the other concert-goers one flimsy curtain away.

They breathed deeply, holding each other close, and Harry kissed the side of Draco's neck, felt Draco sigh.

_Are we done here?_

_Just give me more time. Please._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs mentioned in this chapter are Balulalow, Praise His Holy Name, Al Shlosha D'Varim, and Handel's Hallelujah. Lyrics and downloads can be found at the lyrics page. The lyrics page is here:
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/27817942/chapters/68820234
> 
> When this chapter was first written I was a little blue; my own choir was supposed to have done a concert December 16, where we were going to sing Balulalow, Praise His Holy Name, and Handel's Hallelujah. The concert was cancelled when about a million-jillion inches of snow fell on us that day. ::sniff::


	9. January

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Concrit is warmly appreciated. Thanks hugely to scrtkpr for wonderful beta and for just general squeee :)

**Date:** January 3  
 **From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
 **To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wzr  
Kara wants me to remind you about lunch at her place this Saturday, celebrating the CD launch and meeting her flavour-of-the-month.  
  
 ** _Date:_** _January 4  
_ ** _From:_** _hjpotter_ @ _gringotts.wzr  
_ ** _To:_** _malfoyd_ @ _globalcafe.ie  
Yeah, we'll be there. And sorry, what's her girlfriend's name again?_  
  
 **Date:** January 4  
 **From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
 **To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wzr  
No clue, doesn't matter. She's likely to be throwing pots at whoever it is by the end of the night anyway.

* * *

**January 5**

  
"Lad, ye've been together eight months. That's serious!" Kara paused as she wiped Ben's face and traded an amused glance with Trina. "I'm guessin' ye didna have a six-month anniversary celebration?"  
  
"We're neither of us girls, so no," said Draco, pouring Alec a glass of milk.  
  
"'Tis longer than I've ever lasted with anyone," Kara pointed out.  
  
Harry blinked. "Really?"  
  
Kara smirked. "Ye've heard it said that gay men are all about casual sex, and lesbians are only interested in commitment?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I work _hard_ to destroy that stereotype," she said, grinning.  
  
Draco chuckled and glanced at Trina, who for some reason didn't look as amused as Kara had thought she would be. Nice girl; iffy sense of humour, though. "And that's probably why you can't keep a girlfriend, Kara," he said dryly. "Because you say things like that."  
  
Trina laughed, though it sounded a bit forced. "Och, I knew Kara's reputation before we started," she said. "Not getting into anything I can't handle, me luv." She smiled at Kara.  
  
Ugh, _luv_. Not Kara's favourite term of endearment. Kara narrowed her eyes at Draco's amused smirk and stomped on his foot before he could make a snide remark about it.  
  
"Pass the jam, please," Ben said, and Trina passed it over with a smile. That was one point in her favour - she really did like Ben. Not that she'd seen him all that much, but what time they'd spent together had been positive. Unlike Teresa, Kara's most recent ex, who had always looked like she didn't know what to do with her arms and elbows whenever Ben was around.  
  
"Here, let me get that for you," Harry said, taking Ben's roll and the jam. "Little boys and jam," he said to Trina. "Bit of a mess if you leave them alone together."  
  
"So Teresa, where did--" Draco began.  
  
"Trina," Kara said quickly.  
  
"Trina, sorry," Draco said smoothly. "Where did you say you two met?"  
  
"Circle dance group."  
  
"Oh are you still doing that?" Draco asked Kara.  
  
"Yeah, every Sunday." Oops. She'd told Draco she was working Sundays. And she was, sort of; circle dance groups sometimes hired her to sing for them, and public relations and making connections was part of her work. The sudden narrowing of Draco's eyes suggested he had caught the slip, though, and wasn't pleased.  
  
"Look out - Ben!" Harry cried out and Kara saw, as if in slow motion, Ben's glass of chocolate milk spill onto the table, and over Alec's chips.  
  
"Oh for fuck's-"  
  
"Kara," Draco said sternly. "Ben, be more careful, please," he said, getting up to fetch a dishcloth to wipe up the mess as Harry tried to salvage Alec's chips.  
  
"Alec, he didn't mean to do it," Harry said patiently as Alec scowled angrily.  
  
"But I was saving the chips till the end and now they've gone all soggy!" said Alec, glaring at Ben.  
  
"Never a dull moment with little ones around," Kara said apologetically to Trina, as Alec and Ben started arguing and Harry and Draco tried to clean up and keep the argument from getting out of control.  
  
"Come on, Alec, no sense crying over spilled pumpkin juice," Draco said.  
  
Kara choked on her drink. "Pumpkin juice?" she said, laughing, and caught a quick glance between Harry and Draco. Alec frowned at Draco and jutted out his lower lip at the mess on his plate.  
  
"But the chips was my favourite part!"  
  
"Oh for heaven's-" Draco muttered a couple of things under his breath, and a few moments later he and Harry were done cleaning, and Alec was eating his chips contentedly.  
  
Kara frowned. The chips were fine. Hadn't they just had chocolate milk... "Wait - what happened to..." but now she couldn't quite recall what she had been about to ask, and anyway Draco was saying something.  
  
"Did you say you brought a pudding, Teresa?"  
  
"Trina," Kara corrected him.  
  
"Trina, of course. Sorry. I think the boys are ready for it now."  
  
Kara turned to Draco as Trina went to the kitchen. "Will you stop that, you arse?" she said, keeping her voice low. "You can bloody well remember her name, you know."  
  
"Teresa, Trina, what's the difference?"  
  
Kara scowled. "They're two different women, that's what!"  
  
"They're easy to confuse."  
  
"They're not!" Kara said.  
  
Harry hastily cleared his throat. "So, erm, boys, did you know that chips are something totally different in America?"  
  
"They dinna look anything like each other, Draco," Kara said as soon the little boys were effectively distracted.  
  
"They're very similar in many ways," Draco said coolly.  
  
"Name two."  
  
"Breasts."  
  
"Ha ha ha. God but men can be catty sometimes."  
  
"Not being catty," Draco said evenly. "Just not bothering to learn the name of your latest insignificant other. Because why bother, really?"  
  
Kara glared at him. "There's wee'ans listenin'," she reminded him, though Harry was actually keeping them nicely distracted.  
  
"Right. Wee'ans." Draco narrowed his eyes. "One of whom seems to have been spending a lot of time with me on Sundays when his mother _said_ she was working."  
  
"I _am_ working, Draco-" Kara broke off as Trina came back, carrying a lovely apple strudel, and was grateful for the interruption as the boys squealed and they all busied themselves in the complex work of clearing and serving. For a satisfying amount of time there was no more important business than helping the little ones eat, appreciating the strudel, and relaxing after a fairly fine lunch which Kara took credit for, despite the fact that it had come almost entirely from the excellent chip stand down the street.  
  
Draco had no call to try to make her feel guilty over the Sunday business, she reassured herself. Not only was it helpful for her career, but Ben certainly wasn't suffering from her absence. Most of the time he seemed happier with Draco anyway. Which she had begun to suspect would be true from the moment she'd learned she was pregnant, and thought even more likely once she found out her child would be a boy.  
  
She could've done much worse than bringing into the world a wonderful little boy who loved her, but who seemed to prefer being with his father. The father she'd chosen for him was worth it. And the two of them shared a bond she didn't truly understand, but couldn't deny.  
  
"So, erm, Harry, Alec's your only?" Trina asked as they finished the pudding.  
  
Draco's mobile phone rang, and he gave them all an apologetic glance and went to take the call in the living room.  
  
"Harry?"  
  
"Pardon? Oh. Yes, he is," Harry said, smiling down at Alec.  
  
"Think ye might have any more?"  
  
"Kids? No."  
  
"Why not?" Alec asked.  
  
Harry gave him a startled look, then frowned slightly. "Some people can, and some people can't. I can't. You know that, Alec."  
  
"I know, but why not?"  
  
"That's just how it is sometimes."  
  
"You said you would tell me why when I was bigger. I'm bigger now."  
  
Harry shook his head. "Not big enough."  
  
"Did you ever want to have more babies?" Ben asked.  
  
Harry blew out his breath, looking rather uncomfortable now. "Erm, yeah, but... not after Alec's Mum died." He glanced towards the living room, seeming highly relieved that it looked like Draco was saying goodbye.  
  
"You know, there's all sorts of ways to get around infertility, if that's the problem," Trina said as Draco came back into the room. "You never know, you may want to expand your family some day. I know a few gay men who-"  
  
"No," Draco said bluntly, glancing at Harry. "It's not an option."  
  
"Well even if it's not an option for you and Harry," Kara said, a bit irritated. "You never know, if he was with somebody else-"  
  
"No," said Harry and Draco flatly.  
  
"And how come I can't have any kids?" Alec said. "You did."  
  
Trina and Kara glanced at each other curiously, and now Harry looked really uncomfortable.  
  
"You can't, Alec," he said quietly. "I'm sorry, little man. You'll either find somebody who has children and be their dad, or you can adopt a baby who doesn't have parents."  
  
"Bit early yet to be tellin' Alec he canna have children, isn't it?" Trina said, frowning. "Ye never know, modern medicine is finding all sorts of ways around problems. If it's genetic, there's already screening for-"  
  
"Trina," Draco said, his voice hard. "Drop it."  
  
Trina looked rather offended, and Kara bristled. "All she's saying is dinna give up hope," she said. "No need to take her head off about it. There's always hope."  
  
Harry shook his head. "There isn't. Trust me."  
  
Kara felt like the temperature in the room had gone down by about ten degrees. Which was probably understandable, as she and Trina really had no way of knowing what Harry's particular reasons were for not having any more children, and Trina probably shouldn't be so open with her opinions, but still. She dug into her strudel, a bit irritated at Draco and Harry, and they all finished their pudding in a somewhat more subdued mood than before.  
  
"Well, it's been a lot of fun getting to know all of ye," said Trina a short while later, "but I really have to get going."  
  
Kara felt a small pang of apprehension as she saw Trina to the door and said goodbye. Lunch had gone fairly well, despite the rocky moments at the end. But now it was time to talk to Draco about something she'd been dreading for quite a while.  
  
"Draco, can ye help me clear?" she said, picking up the detritus of their meal. He nodded and picked up plates as Harry took the boys to the washroom to clean them up.  
  
"Interesting girl, Trina," Draco said as he brought her the last of the dirty dishes. Good. Apparently he was no longer feeling aggrieved about the Sunday issue. Kara turned on the water and picked up a plate, bracing herself.  
  
"Yeah, she is. Brilliant lay, too. Hope this lasts. So," she said, putting all her energy into making her voice as casual as possible. "Windbourne's rather pleased with me."  
  
"Yeah, congratulations. I heard you had a good launch party, too."  
  
"And I've been getting loads of gigs. Here and in London."  
  
"Oh I forgot to tell you, Irish Music Magazine and Analogue both mentioned you last week."  
  
"Read 'em. Clipped 'em." Kara smiled, rinsing a plate and handing it to Draco to dry. "And actually, me manager and I have been talking about next steps."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"As in, moving to London."  
  
Draco rolled his eyes. "Kara, we've talked about this. We decided-"  
  
"Nae, laddie _you_ decided-"  
  
" _We_ decided," Draco repeated firmly. "And it's not an option. You know that. We've Ben to think about."  
  
"Yeah, we do. But." She took a deep breath. "I'm going anyway. I've signed me lease, and it starts in May."  
  
Draco put down the plate he was drying. "Are you serious?"  
  
"Quite. You know this place is too small for what I want to do-"  
  
Draco was gaping at her. "Just like that? You're - what about Ben?"  
  
"He's coming too," Kara said firmly.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"We'll keep sharing him, one week with me, one week with you," she said reasonably. "I know this is putting you in a bit of a bind, so you can decide who gets him when, and what we'll do till you move to London. If you want, I'll take him fulltime till ye can get settled, or if you want to take him fulltime yourself, 'tis only fair-"  
  
Draco was staring at her in disbelief. "One week with you, one week with me? Try one week with you, _three_ weeks with me. And all of a sudden you're going to just take him fulltime?"  
  
"That was just while I was trying to make a name for meself-"  
  
"You think that'll stop once you're in London?"  
  
"Trina's movin' to London too, she's willing to-"  
  
"Teresa?" Draco said snidely. "And how long is that going to last? A week?"  
  
"I've got plenty of other friends in London, you know that," Kara said. "And you're there almost every other weekend with Harry; why not be there for Ben too?"  
  
"I don't live there!"  
  
"Well then maybe this'll finally convince you to move to London, as I've been trying to get you to do ever since-"  
  
"I don't want to! Not now, and not ever!"  
  
Kara glared at him. "All right, you'd rather we share Ben on a monthly basis? One month with me, the other with you? Or six months on, six off?"  
  
"Are you insane? Having him move to a different city every month? Or uprooting him from his school and friends twice a year? What the hell are you thinking?!"  
  
"Look, we can work this out," she said reasonably. Oh Goddess, she'd known this would be difficult. She tried to calm herself as she put down the bowl she was washing and dried her hands. He just had to be made to see her side. He had to see that she was tired of doing things his way, had been putting off London for years, and it wasn't fair to her career to be stuck here in Dublin forever.  
  
"Come on, Draco," she pleaded. "I have to do this. And do you no want to be near Harry as well? Or is it not working, with him?"  
  
"It's not," Draco said grimly. "But that's not why..."  
  
Kara took a deep breath. "I need to do better, can ye no see that?" she began again, mindful that the little ones and Harry were in the living room and could probably hear every word.  
  
"Well I have a job here! I have a life here!"  
  
"You _teach_ , Draco," she pointed out stubbornly. "You know you could pack up and be hired in London in a trice. I'm the one who'll be pickin' up and moving away from me home, the land where I was born-"  
  
"Oh don't give me that," he sneered. "You love being in England, you're _exotic_ there - I swear every time you come back your accent's so bloody thick you sound like a leprechaun."  
  
"Maybe you're happy stuck in this backwater-"  
  
"Dublin is not a backwater, Kara! For god's sake, it's the biggest city in-"  
  
"In _Ireland!_ No exactly cosmopolitan, is it?"  
  
"Mam?"  
  
Kara swallowed hard, realizing both little boys were staring at them from the kitchen door, as Harry tried to take them back to the living room.  
  
"Ben, please, come on back, your mum and dad need to talk..."  
  
"You know," said Draco angrily, "for someone who's so bloody proud of her Irishness, you're remarkably quick to dismiss your precious homeland."  
  
Kara's temper snapped, and to hell with the little ones, who were gaping at them both. "And for somebody born and bred in England, you're bloody quick to never say a fucking word in its defence!"  
  
"And maybe there's a fucking good reason for that, have you ever thought of that?!" he shouted.  
  
"Oh really? Why d'you not enlighten me, then?"  
  
Draco drew a breath for a sharp retort, then paused, suddenly looking uncertain.  
  
"What is it, then?" Kara asked angrily, and caught Ben and Alec glancing at each other, and Harry looking tense. She frowned. "Does Ben know?" Ben stared at Draco wide-eyed, and Kara's temper rose some more. "You've told our five-year-old, but you won't tell his mother?"  
  
Draco shook his head.  
  
"What is it, then? Torrid love affair gone wrong? Family that disowned you? Criminal past?"  
  
Draco rubbed his forehead.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"No," said Harry quietly. "Not like this."  
  
Kara's eyes narrowed as something unspoken passed between Draco and Harry.  
  
"Not like this, Draco, please," Harry repeated.  
  
There was another long silence.  
  
"I have to do it sometime," Draco finally said.  
  
"Draco..." Harry was looking at him worriedly, but at Draco's set expression, he nodded and quietly took the little boys back to the living room.  
  
Draco gestured towards the kitchen table and Kara sat down, intrigued. What the hell?  
  
Draco took a deep breath. "All right, this is going to be... interesting. Not all of it will make sense, but." He took off his glasses and polished them. "I have to give you a bit of background first." He paused, putting them back on. "And actually, the background is probably going to explain some odd things you may have noticed about certain little... accidents Ben's been having lately."  
  
"Accidents?" Kara asked, completely lost. "What? He's wetting himself again?"  
  
"What?" Draco stared at her, baffled, then laughed out loud. "Oh! Oh, no, that's not - no, not that kind of accident." He smiled, shook his head, and then his expression turned serious again. He pushed his glasses up and Kara realized with astonishment that he was nervous. Visibly quite off-balance, as she had never seen Draco be. "I probably should've told you about this a long time ago..."  
  
"Oh god. You've got a criminal past, is that it? Ye're on the run from the British authorities?"  
  
"No, I'm not," he said firmly. "But." He swallowed hard. "I am on parole."  
  
" _What?!_ " Kara stood up, outraged.  
  
"Bloody hell, let me start over." He took his conductor's baton out of his pocket and placed it on the table, muttered something under his breath, and Kara felt a bizarre peace settle over her.  
  
"There's a few things you need to know," he said evenly, looking into her eyes. "About me, and about Ben. And about magic."

* * *

  
Two hours later, Kara walked slowly back into her living room, feeling dizzy. Her mind was reeling from everything she'd been told and shown, all she'd learned about Draco, and reeling even more with the fact that really, somehow, this wasn't surprising her nearly as much as it probably should.  
  
Draco was in the living room as well, staring out the window pensively, and Harry came up behind him and put an arm around his waist, leaning against him. Draco shrugged slightly and Harry let him go.  
  
There was a silence. "That didn't go so badly," said Harry tentatively.  
  
"No. Funny, the literature actually helped."  
  
"Literature?"  
  
" _When Muggles Need To Know_ ," Draco said absently. "The parole officer who gave it to me when I explained about Ben couldn't stop smirking about it."  
  
"You'd planned this, then?"  
  
"A bit. Once Ben started doing magic, I knew it would only be a matter of time. There's only so many ways you can explain away all the things kids do at this age..."  
  
Harry nodded. "She's taken it pretty reasonably."  
  
"Spell," Draco said dully. " _Claritius_. Kind of a reverse- _Confundus_ , making things very clear and understandable, even though they defy common sense."  
  
"Makes sense," Harry said, looking puzzled by Draco's tone.  
  
"Draco? Are you all right?" Kara asked.  
  
"Yeah." He took a deep breath, looked at her. "You understand now. Why I can't move to London."  
  
Kara shook her head, not knowing what to say. There was so much she wanted to do, so much she _needed_ to do, but... it was going to take a bit more time to get her mind around everything Draco had told her today.  
  
"Draco. It'll be all right," Harry said reassuringly, reaching for him.  
  
"No, it won't." Draco moved away from Harry once more. "It won't be."  
  
Kara and Harry shared a worried glance.  
  
"It won't be. Ever," Draco said, sounding weary. "And I can't keep pretending everything will work itself out somehow."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
Draco took a deep breath. "You asked me, in December, to give you more time. At the time, I thought... but now..."  
  
"Look," Harry said nervously. "If Kara moves to London, why can't that be-"  
  
"Kara," said Draco, holding Harry's gaze. "Can you make sure the boys are kept busy?"  
  
Kara swallowed hard and nodded, going down the hall to Ben's room, which was empty. The little buggers, where - then she heard them in the bathroom, chatting animatedly.  
  
"Mine's a _lot_ smaller," Alec was saying.  
  
"No it's not. Mine is," Ben replied.  
  
"But yours goes out like that."  
  
"But that's just because I have a fat belly. Hey! Yours has freckles!"  
  
Kara looked around the door and stifled a snicker. Ben and Alec were peeing together and very seriously comparing their penises.  
  
"Does all your family have freckles?"  
  
"Yeah, all of them. Except Daddy."  
  
"Did you know some boys don't have a bit of skin at the end? One of the boys at my sitter's is like that. His penis doesn't have a cover at the end at all!"  
  
"Doesn't it get cold?"  
  
Kara chuckled and they looked up, finished peeing, and started to head back to the living room.  
  
"Boys, come play in the bedroom for a bit," she said, leading them to Ben's room. "I think your Da'll be needin' to talk to Harry a bit longer. Best to leave them be while they do that."  
  
"Can we sing that song we're singing with your choir?" Alec said. Ben rolled his eyes, as usual not overly enthused about music, but willing to sing along anyway.  
  
"Shenandoah?" Kara asked.  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
Two rounds of [Shenandoah](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27817942/chapters/68820246) and three repetitions of [Fields of Athenry](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27817942/chapters/68820246) later, Kara couldn't stand it any more and decided to check on Harry and Draco. She crept closer to the kitchen, stopping as the voices got louder. Not shouting, though. There hadn't been any shouting so far.  
  
"...I _told_ you, Molly can get all the fit, available men she wants to just 'happen to show up' whenever we go have dinner at the Burrow; it doesn't mean I'll take them up on the offer. And I told you, if you wanted me and Alec to spend Christmas with you and Ben, I was perfectly willing to-"  
  
"That's not the point. The point is that your family will never accept me, and neither will the wizarding world. It's time to face that."  
  
"What are you saying?" Harry said, his voice low.  
  
"I'm saying what I should've said last May. What we both should've said last May."  
  
"You're not serious."  
  
"Deadly." He took a deep breath. "You were right. I have to choose."  
  
Kara started in alarm, stepping into the kitchen. Harry's face was pale, Draco's determined, and neither one acknowledged her presence. The sounds of the little boys playing in the background seemed completely removed from the world they were in right now.  
  
"I'm part of _this_ world, Harry," Draco said, his voice strained. "I've made a life for myself and Ben here. I'm a respected teacher. People know my name, and it doesn't make them flinch or hate me. They don't know what this means," he said, baring his forearm, with its snake and skull tattoo. He gazed at it dispassionately, then looked up at Harry. "You can't even look at it."  
  
Harry shifted closer and took Draco's hand, gazing at the tattoo that Kara had always thought was ugly as sin, before ever suspecting what it meant. "I can. I just thought you didn't want me to. But I can," he said, tracing it gently with his fingers. "This is part of you. I know you hate it, and I hate it too. But it's part of you. It's part of what made you who you are now. And who you are now... is worth more than any Mark. Who you are is worth a lot. To me."  
  
Draco pulled back.  
  
"Please. Don't do this," Harry said quietly.  
  
"I have to."  
  
From the kitchen door, Kara spoke up, her mouth dry. "Draco, you can't. You canna do this to Ben."  
  
Draco rolled his eyes. "You do this to Ben every two weeks, Kara."  
  
"He doesn't get attached to the girls I go out with. I make bloody sure of that."  
  
"Would you like me to let him get even more attached to Harry?" Draco asked evenly. "Have it hurt more when we finally do break it off? Because we're going to have to, sooner or later."  
  
"You just have to give it more time," Kara said.  
  
Harry cleared his throat. "Kara... we've tried for eight months," he said slowly. "If it's not going to work, we may as well face it and end it now."  
  
Kara stared at them. It seemed unreal. A split was supposed to involve screaming and crying and slamming doors. Not this quiet, defeated, sorrowful parting of the ways. "This isn't how these things go," Kara said slowly.  
  
"No?"  
  
"There's supposed to be shouting," she said. "Flinging things. Broken mugs."  
  
"We've done all our shouting already," Harry said hollowly. "The last few months..." he trailed off and sighed, rubbing his eyes under his glasses. "Are we... what do you want to tell the boys?"  
  
Draco drew a hand through his hair. "I don't know."  
  
"We were going to... there's still that Quidditch game on Ben's birthday."  
  
"And the Beltane position," Draco said.  
  
"We can do that through e-mail," said Harry. "Unless you want one of us to drop out? There's still time to find replacements."  
  
"Maybe." Draco shrugged. "I'll stay in, if you want to drop it."  
  
"I'll... we'll work it out. And I'll take the boys to the game," Harry said. "Ben's been looking forward to it forever. We don't have to - you can just drop him off at my place. We don't have to see each other."  
  
Draco nodded. There was a long silence.  
  
"Does it make any difference that I love you?" Harry asked quietly.  
  
Draco stared at him. "It makes you a bloody Slytherin, saying that at this point."  
  
"No it doesn't. It's the truth. I'm not saying it to change your mind, because you're probably right." He sighed heavily. "I _know_ you're right. I love you anyway."  
  
Draco swallowed hard. "No, it doesn't make a difference," he finally said quietly. "I..."  
  
Harry shook his head quickly. "No. Don't... don't say anything." He looked away. "Right. I suppose I'd better go."  
  
Draco looked away as Harry went to get Alec, and was silent as he and Alec said their goodbyes to Ben.  
  
"Bye, Draco," Alec said cheerfully, giving him a hug, and Draco held him tightly for a long moment before letting him go, not meeting his eyes as they said goodbye. Kara wondered how the hell Harry was going to explain this to Alec, and guessed from his grim expression that he was wondering the same thing. Then Harry picked up Alec and turned on the spot with him, disappearing with a soft _pop_.  
  
It really should feel more alarming, seeing something like that, Kara thought to herself. Whatever that spell was that Draco had cast on her apparently did its job incredibly well, because all she felt was vague surprise.  
  
Then again, maybe the crushing sorrow of the moment was just blotting out everything else.  
  
Bloody hell, this was far more depressing than any of her own break-ups. Kara sighed and went into the kitchen. She poured herself some gin, hesitated, then poured another for Draco, bringing it to him in the living room, where he was staring out the window blankly.  
  
"Think I'll call Teresa," she said numbly after they'd downed the gin.  
  
"Trina."  
  
"Trina." Kara blinked. "Trina. Whose name even I canna remember properly." She shook her head. "You... you've got something I've never had. Probably won't ever have. A lot of people will never have that. And you're just letting it go. It's desecration, is what it is."  
  
"Don't, Kara," Draco said tiredly.  
  
"What d'you want? For me to tell you 'tis better to have loved and lost and all that rot?" Kara shook her head sadly. "The Goddess gives us love, love like what you and Harry have," she said. "He didna need to say he loved you; it's written all over him. And you love him. You're throwing that away with both hands."  
  
"The Goddess also gives us children, Kara. We're supposed to do right by them too."  
  
"You think breaking up with somebody Ben thinks of almost as a father is doing right by him? Having him bounce back and forth among _three_ parents for a while, till he's used to no seeing Harry so much any more, and then loses him for good? And what about Alec?"  
  
"You think risking what happened last August is the right thing to do?" Draco asked her. "You don't understand just how famous Harry is. Or how infamous I am," he said bitterly. "Besides, it's been pretty obvious for a long time that this was coming. Better to just... get it over with."  
  
Kara shook her head. "This is wrong, Draco. I may not understand everything you explained to me, but I understand enough to know ye're nae doing the right thing. For any of ye."  
  
"I don't know if I'm doing right either. I do know that I've felt guilty the whole time I've been with Harry."  
  
"And that's worth hurting all four of you? Your guilt?"  
  
Draco shrugged. "Better now than later." He left the room, and Kara wandered numbly back to her kitchen, gazed at her dirty dishes and wished she could do magic too. Magic to make this better, take away the pain Ben was going to feel... or at least make Draco see that he was wrong.  
  
Failing magic, she went for the next best thing, picking up the phone and dialing. Needing warmth and gentleness and whatever approached comfort from somebody tonight.  
  
"Trina? Darlin', I was wondering, could you come back and stay the night?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs mentioned in this chapter are Shenandoah and Fields of Athenry. Lyrics and downloads can be found at the [lyrics page](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27817942/chapters/68820246).


	10. February

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finally caught up and am posting on the day of the story, so this will be February's post. Will be catching up on the Ember to Ember DVD Extras in between postings here until it's all done :)

**Date:** January 10  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wzr  
Ben reminded me that Alec was supposed to come over this Saturday.  
  
**_Date:_** _January 11  
_**_From:_** _hjpotter@gringotts.wzr  
_**_To:_** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
I'll drop him off at noon. Have you received this year's Beltane information from the Ministry?  
I've talked to Alec about withdrawing from the Dublin choir after the next concert, in case he brings it up._  
  
**Date:** January 13  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wzr  
I've attached a list of the Muggle groups confirmed for Beltane so far. Alec did bring up choir.  
  
**_Date:_** _January 14  
_**_From:_** _hjpotter@gringotts.wzr  
_**_To:_** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
Is he all right with it? He didn't say very much to me.  
I've attached a list of wizard groups confirmed._  
  
**Date:** January 15  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wzr  
More or less. He's glad he's in the London choir.  
  
**_Date:_** _January 28  
_**_From:_** _hjpotter@gringotts.wzr  
_**_To:_** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
When will you be dropping Ben off for the Quidditch game this Saturday? He can stay with us if it goes past nine._  
  
**Date:** January 29  
**From:** malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
**To:** hjpotter@gringotts.wzr  
I've a late meeting with an orchestra so I'll have to drop Ben off at 6, which I know is when the game starts. We'll meet you at the stadium. Please wear amulets.  
  
**_Date:_** _January 30  
_**_From:_** _hjpotter@gringotts.wzr  
_**_To:_** _malfoyd@globalcafe.ie  
We will. Don't forget it's at that new place, Pennington Stadium._

* * *

**February 2**

Hermione glanced around the stadium, happy to be out of the house and without children, but wishing her first child-free moment in a month wasn't at a Quidditch game. They were here for a good reason, she reminded herself. She and Ron had offered to accompany Harry to this game because he was their best friend, and he needed them right now, and they loved him and wanted to spend time with him. The venue didn't matter.  
  
She gazed at him as he talked quietly to Alec, pointing out parts of the brand new pitch and stadium, and wondered what was going on inside him. How he was doing with the break-up, and how Alec was doing. Wondered if anybody else in the family knew about it yet. Probably not; Harry wasn't terribly talkative lately, and Alec had gone back to his pre-Malfoy near-muteness. Not that it was that big a change - he'd never been terribly chatty - but Hermione wondered if any of the other Weasleys had noticed it yet.  
  
"They're here, Daddy," Alec said, and Hermione turned to look. There was Malfoy, with a small child that Hermione assumed was Ben wearing a NewFace amulet, as Harry and Alec were. Harry let Alec down, and Alec ran to hug Malfoy, then tugged Ben excitedly towards the stadium, excitedly retelling him everything Harry had just shown him. Malfoy stood up, looking rather uncomfortable, as Ben and Alec ran off.  
  
"So you'll come pick him up tomorrow morning?" Harry asked quietly, and Hermione couldn't believe how much it bothered her that he and Malfoy didn't even look at each other.  
  
She'd been so relieved when Harry had told them of the break-up. Finally, one of them had done the right thing. The sensible thing.  
  
Sensible didn't mean easy, though. And while Malfoy seemed fine, Harry was devastated. Hermione hurt for him even as she reminded herself that this was for the best.  
  
Malfoy nodded. "If that's all right," he said. He looked around. "Sorry I was late. Looks like the game'll be starting soon. You'd better go."  
  
Harry nodded, and they turned to go in, calling for the kids.  
  
And then all hell broke loose.  
  
It started with what sounded like a groan, and Hermione looked up to see part of the wall a few yards ahead buckling, and then it was falling and people were screaming. Hermione stood stock-still in shock for a moment before rushing forward to help - it was chaos, people were shouting, wands had come out and protection spells were being flung left and right, like a battle against a non-sentient enemy. She had her wand in hand and was preparing to cast a wall-strengthening spell when she heard another horrible groan. She turned and saw, as if in slow motion, Ron and Harry, who were right behind her, turning to look and the wall behind them collapsing - and Malfoy, Ben and Alec disappearing behind a cloud of dust. Her heart stood still as the three of them raced back, and she gasped in relief as Malfoy emerged from the dust and handed Ben to a wizard who had popped in out of nowhere, then turned back and-  
  
"Hermione! Sto-"

* * *

Hermione woke up to a frantic babble, voices of fear and pain. Over a hundred people were running, sitting, talking, shouting. Patients, St. Mungo's Healers and other hospital employees hurrying here and there, people with Quick Quills and flashing cameras...  
  
She sat up, blinking and trying to make sense of the chaos, and soon realized that most of the people in the waiting room didn't seem hurt. Many were covered in dust, and there was some blood and bandages to be seen, but the majority of people not in Healer robes seemed to be friends and family of those who were hurt. She looked up and saw Ron, Harry, and Malfoy, all of them dusty and wearing St. Mungo's-issue shirts, Malfoy with a black eye and no glasses, and Harry with a large gash over his cheek, his NewFace amulet gone.  
  
"Oh good, you're awake," said Ron, brushing her hair back from her face. "Feeling all right?"  
  
"Fine, fine. What happened?"  
  
"You got in the way of some idiot trying to keep the wall up by Stunning it-"  
  
"I mean at the stadium," Hermione said impatiently.  
  
"New masonry spell gone wrong, far as anyone can tell," said Ron. "There were about fifty people buried under the rubble. It's a miracle nobody was killed."  
  
Hermione stood up. "Alec and Ben?" she said, scared at the way Harry and Malfoy, who had barely acknowledged her return to consciousness, were staring tensely at the treatment area door.  
  
"Both being worked on by Healers." Ron swallowed hard. "A whole team for each of them. There's about twenty people in the same boat."  
  
Hermione nodded distractedly as a Healer entered, scanning the anxious crowd clustered near the door.  
  
"Mr. Potter? Mr. Malfoy?" she said, and Hermione saw a few people do double-takes as they hurried forward.  
  
"How are they?" Malfoy said, his voice tense.  
  
"They're both doing much better than we thought at first," the Healer said reassuringly. "To be honest, with the severity of the injuries, mixed with the magical damage, it didn't look good. But I wanted to let you know that the damage is far less severe than we thought. And it's difficult to say at this moment, but we're fairly sure Ben will recover fully," she said, and Malfoy took a deep breath. "As for Alec..."  
  
Harry stared at her.  
  
"We're doing our best, sir, but... the spells that hold up the stands are very powerful. Having them hit a small child like that, it's..."  
  
"Can I help?" Hermione asked, pushing down her fear. "I - I've worked with Healers before, I have some experience-"  
  
The Healer nodded. "Yes, I know. I recognize you; I was here when... when you joined the team to help Alec's mother." She cleared her throat. "Please understand, though, this is a very different situation, Ms Granger. We know how to handle collapse damage; masonry spells do go wrong sometimes. There's at least four more things we can try before we panic."  
  
Harry blinked, his face becoming expressionless, and Hermione could almost feel him shutting down. Ron closed his eyes and put his head down, breathing deeply.  
  
"There's every expectation that they'll both recover fully," the Healer said gently to Harry and Malfoy. "It looks far more promising than when you first came in. It's just... you also have to be prepared for the worst." And with that, she left, the door swinging closed behind her.  
  
"Who the _hell_ can be prepared for something like this?" Ron muttered angrily.  
  
Hermione shook her head, looking around at the families in the waiting room. "Malfoy," she said suddenly, "have you contacted Kara?"  
  
Malfoy looked at her blankly for a moment. "Kara. No, we were... we weren't sure what was going on..."  
  
"Would you like to?"  
  
"Yes," Malfoy said. "Yes, that would be good. I'm not sure where she is right now.... probably at Windbourne records. Erm..." he blinked, frowning slightly.  
  
"Do you want me to call her?" Hermione asked, recognizing the signs of being momentarily stuck between worlds. It was always a bit of an awkward mental switch, no doubt made more difficult by Malfoy's anxiety. "I do know how to use the phone."  
  
Malfoy gave her a slight smile. "Yeah. Thanks." He took out his wallet and pulled out a card, giving it to her, _Kara Greely_ and a string of phone numbers written on it.  
  
"I'll arrange for transportation for her too," said Hermione, glad to have something to do, and went to the Muggle Help Desk, grateful that such a thing was finally available in the wizarding world. Grateful to spend the next fifteen minutes or so working with the witch on duty, getting a hold of Kara and arranging for transportation to St. Mungo's for her.  
  
"She'll be at the Muggle entrance in a few minutes," she told Malfoy as she rejoined the three men. "She was at Windbourne. It's just taking a bit of time to arrange for the Dublin-to-London part of the trip. The Help Desk witch's assistant will tell us when she's arrived at the building; should be any second now. Do you want me to get her?"  
  
Malfoy shook his head. "No, I'll do it. She'll want to know what happened..."  
  
"Ms Granger?" said a young witch, approaching them. "There's a Ms Greely here, a Muggle?"  
  
"Yes, thank you," said Malfoy. "I'll go pick her up."  
  
"Muggle entrance is through the Floo on the left side of the main entrance doors, sir," said the witch, and turned back to Harry as Malfoy hurried away. "Sir, there's a few people here asking to come in, but we've sealed off the area-"  
  
"What?"  
  
"The Wireless just reported the collapse, sir," she explained. "Apparently people also noticed that you were there. We've given some reporters access to the hospital staff, and they're helping get people in contact with families, but we're keeping people away if they appear to be trying to bother you in particular."  
  
"Thank you," said Hermione.  
  
"Two of them say they're relatives, though. Fred and George Weasley?"  
  
"Yes, of course, let them in," said Hermione, then bit her lip and glanced at Harry worriedly, but he didn't seem to have noticed. Didn't do more than nod vaguely at the twins as they came in either, both looking highly worried.  
  
"How's Alec?" asked Fred, and Hermione gave him what information she could.  
  
"M-Malfoy's here too?" asked George.  
  
"Yes, he is - not here right now, he's at the Muggle entrance, picking up Ben's mother."  
  
Ron frowned. "How'd you know Malfoy was here?"  
  
"It's on the Wireless," said Fred. "They're saying he was spotted at the site."  
  
"C-can't make up their minds, though-" began George.  
  
"Somebody said it looked like he set off whatever it was that caused the collapse, but another report said he was pulling people out of the wreckage," Fred finished.  
  
Ron's face darkened. "The setting off part is rubbish," he said vehemently. "It was an accident. Besides, _Ben_ was there. And Malfoy was hurt too. The pulling people out part, I'm not sure, it was pretty confusing-"  
  
"He got Alec," Harry said dully. "That's how he got hurt. He went back under the wall for him. If he hadn't..." He looked up at Fred, seeming to recognize him for the first time.  
  
Fred nodded. "Look, tell me to bugger off if you want," he said quietly. "I know your boyfriend's here, I won't say anything to him. I just want to be here in case... to be near Alec."  
  
Harry shrugged, his eyes back on the door.  
  
"What the hell h-happened?" George asked. As Ron answered, Hermione looked around the crowded room, noting that, now that she could take in the scene more calmly, it didn't seem quite the chaos it had when she'd first arrived. Many of the injured were slowly being allowed to leave, and the atmosphere was now one of impatience and nerves rather than abject fear. The exception, of course, was the group of thirty or so people clustered near the treatment area doors.  
  
"Harry, dear." Hermione looked up to see Molly hurrying towards Harry. Behind her, Arthur, Kara, and Malfoy were entering the waiting room, Kara looking too frightened to be properly aware of the strangeness of the place. Molly hugged Harry, hard, then drew back and looked at him worriedly. "Any news?"  
  
Harry shook his head silently, and Molly gave Hermione a worried look.  
  
"Yes, Floo travel is a little difficult at first, I've heard," Arthur was saying sympathetically to Kara as they drew nearer. "Was that your first time?"  
  
Kara nodded distractedly, glancing around the waiting room. "So... this is a hospital? Is there - is Ben in surgery?"  
  
Malfoy shook his head. "He's with the Healers. He's got spell damage, from the spells that were supposed to be holding up the walls of the stadium. The Healers are optimistic, though." He looked at Harry. "For both of them."  
  
"What... is there anything we need to do? Can we donate blood, anything?"  
  
Hermione smiled as Arthur's eyebrows went up and he almost visibly made a mental note to ask about Muggles and blood donation at a more appropriate time.  
  
"No." Ron shook his head. "Nothing to do now but hurry up and wait."

* * *

Two hours later, the door opened, and a weary-looking elderly Healer came through, followed by a reedy younger man wearing a Trainee Healer badge. They scanned over the people in the waiting room. "Mr. Malfoy? Ms Greely?"  
  
They quickly came forward. "Ben's doing well," the elder Healer said. Malfoy and Kara breathed out simultaneously, and Kara reached for Malfoy's hand. "He's responding very well to the counter spells. He's going to be groggy for the next two days or so, and he'll have to stay in isolation, but he'll be fine."  
  
Malfoy nodded, his face pale, and pulled Kara close as she burst into tears.  
  
"Oh thank the Goddess," she sobbed into his hair. "I thought... it's stupid, I know, they said he'd be all right and I trust them, it's just..."  
  
Malfoy nodded as he held her closer. "Can we see him?" he asked.  
  
"He's in isolation right now, so _no_ ," the younger Healer said coldly, and Kara looked up at him, puzzled. "We do have rules, you know," he said, eyeing Malfoy disdainfully.  
  
Molly and George drew in their breaths angrily. Malfoy pressed his lips together and looked away.  
  
"Trainee Healer Webster," said the older Healer calmly. "One of the things you need to work on is proper bedside manner with relatives of patients, and one thing that is very clear is that you do not address them in such a tone no matter who they are, even if you believe their question to be a stupid one. Which that one was not. Now, please go and wait for me in my office." He turned to Malfoy, not bothering to see if the startled Trainee Healer had done so. "No, Mr. Malfoy, it is not advisable right now, although we will allow you to record a message to him. I will ask for an aide to bring you a recording scroll."  
  
"Thank you," said Malfoy quietly, still holding on to Kara, who was wiping her tears.  
  
"Mr. Potter, we will let you know as soon as we have any news about Alec," the Healer said, and left.  
  
Malfoy touched Harry's arm.  
  
"That's good. I'm glad Ben's all right," Harry said. Hermione bit her lip at the deadness in Harry's voice and met Malfoy's eyes worriedly.  
  
"Harry... Alec will be all right," said Malfoy. "You heard the Healers, and he was right next to Ben, they-"  
  
"Alec's a lot smaller," Harry said flatly. "He was under for longer."  
  
"He's a fighter, though," said Ron. "Like his dad."  
  
There was a brief silence, and Hermione wondered how many of the others were also desperately trying to think of something encouraging to say to Harry.  
  
"Is... is there a chapel here?" Kara asked quietly.  
  
"Oh, yes, dear, of course there is," Molly said, grabbing at the topic gratefully. "I'll show you there, shall I?"  
  
"Draco?" Kara asked, and Malfoy glanced at Harry, who nodded, before joining Kara. Molly blinked, a bit startled, but merely nodded at Malfoy, and they set off.  
  
Hermione glanced around at the four Weasley men helplessly standing around Harry with no idea how to comfort him, how to reach him, their worry for Alec almost overshadowed by their fear for Harry.  
  
"We may as well sit down again," Arthur said, gently pushing Harry towards the chairs that had been set out for the patients' families.  
  
"Glad B-ben's all right," said George quietly as he, Fred, Hermione, and Ron trailed slowly behind Arthur and Harry.  
  
"Anybody want to place bets on Malfoy sticking around now?" Fred said cynically.  
  
"He will," Ron said, a slight edge to his voice.  
  
"He may have saved Alec's life," Hermione pointed out.  
  
"Fred," George said quietly. "M-Malfoy might not be who you w-want for them, but at least Harry's got s-somebody with him-"  
  
"No, he doesn't," Hermione interrupted.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Harry and Malfoy broke up," Ron said flatly, and George and Fred stopped in their tracks. "About a month ago."  
  
"What?" Fred said.  
  
"Malfoy ditched him," Ron said. "Worried about being seen with him. Trying to shield Ben from bad publicity."  
  
"Good riddance," Fred muttered. "And what a surprise. Always looking out for himself."  
  
"Yeah, he's so good at it that he may have saved Alec's life, in a public place. And then spent two hours in here with Harry, knowing there's reporters around. He didn't have to, you know. He could've asked to go somewhere more private to wait with Kara, I'm sure the staff would've agreed."  
  
"He can't win with you, can he?" Hermione said. "If he's around Harry and Alec, he's bad for them; if he leaves, he's a selfish coward."  
  
"The other reason he left," said Ron tightly, "was he knew he was coming between Harry and us. Selfish prick, isn't he?" He glared at Fred. "So congratulations, Fred. You won." He shook his head in disgust and headed towards Harry and Arthur.  
  
Hermione spared a glance at the twins, George's expression shocked and sorrowful, Fred's unreadable, then hurried to catch up to Ron.

* * *

"Ben, we love you," Kara said, finishing off her message to him. "Mam and Dad canna come in right now, because the spells have to make you better, but we'll be there soon as the doctors say it's all right."

  
"You'll be all right, Benny," said Malfoy. "The Healers said you might feel bad for a little while, but you'll be better soon. We'll come see you as soon as it's safe." He nodded at the aide, who waved her wand at the scroll. It started to roll up.  
  
"Wait - may I?" Molly asked hesitantly. Kara looked at her, confused. "I just want to let him know we're all thinking of him," she said. "He's such a lovely little boy. You must be so proud of him."  
  
"Aye," Kara said, and the staff person waved her wand at the scroll again.  
  
"Harry, would you like to leave Ben a message too?" Arthur said, and Harry blinked, startled.  
  
"Oh. Yeah, yeah, of course," he said. "Erm... not sure what to... what to say..."  
  
"We'll help you, dear," said Molly, patting his arm comfortingly.  
  
"Come sit," Hermione said to Malfoy and Kara, as Molly, Arthur and Harry began recording their messages.  
  
"Ben will be able to hear our voices? From that paper?" Kara asked skeptically.  
  
"It's just like a CD," Malfoy said. "Except you don't need a machine to play it for you; just a wand."  
  
"How is... how is Harry doing?" Kara asked worriedly, her voice low.  
  
"He's terrified," said Ron. "Haven't seen him this out of it since..." he shook his head, trailing off.  
  
"But the Healers said it's nae so serious as-"  
  
"It's n-not that," George said. "It's not the s-seriousness. Harry knows Alec'll most p-probably be all right. It's..." he cleared his throat.  
  
"It's just too much like the day Ginny died," Fred said flatly, and George's eyes filled with tears as Fred finally spoke what they'd all been trying to avoid thinking. "Part of why Bill and Percy didn't want to be here. Too much déjà vu. Not that Harry won't be thinking it anyway." Malfoy nodded, gazing at Harry, and Hermione could almost feel his need to go to him. "Fuck," said Fred, shaking his head, "it's just like that day-" he stopped as the treatment area door opened, and Hermione's heart skipped a beat. It had opened several times in the last half hour, and although it was comforting to note that the relatives and friends the Healers talked to had almost all seemed relieved, and some had left smiling, the tension was getting higher as the crowd thinned around them.  
  
"Mrs. McClachan?" said the Healer, and an elderly witch rushed to the door. Hermione recalled that the Healers had not seemed very reassuring when they had last spoken to her, but her heart still sank as the Healer spoke and the woman gave a low cry and closed her eyes, covering her mouth. Hermione could feel the fear in the air getting thicker as all of those left in the waiting area desperately tried to hold on to hope, and the old woman began to cry. Harry had gone pale, and he approached their chairs and sat down, his breathing shallow.  
  
"Harry," Malfoy said gently. Harry didn't acknowledge him. Malfoy crouched down before Harry, looking up at him and touching his knee. "He'll be all right. You heard the Healers when they first came to talk to that woman. They didn't have much hope for her husband. With Alec, they do." Harry kept looking at the floor, face utterly blank, and Malfoy sighed and started to get up. Harry suddenly covered Malfoy's hand with his, holding him in place.  
  
Malfoy glanced around the room nervously, but he didn't draw back, didn't pull away.  
  
"Ms Greely? Mr. Malfoy?" Another Healer was standing at the treatment area door. "We've arranged cots for you near Ben's room so you can rest a bit, and be a bit closer to him. Get you out of the waiting area, anyway."  
  
Kara nodded, standing up. "Draco?" she said softly. "Are you coming?"  
  
Malfoy hesitated, then shook his head. "I'll be there later."  
  
Kara nodded and gave him a hug, looking at Harry worriedly for a moment before following the Healer out.  
  
"I can't do this," Harry said softly.  
  
Malfoy gazed at Harry worriedly and sat down next to him, a comforting hand on his shoulder, and Hermione watched them as Malfoy murmured to him quietly.  
  
Breaking up had been the right thing to do. The sensible thing.  
  
Harry was nodding, his gaze unfocussed, then his forehead creased and he bowed his head, drawing in on himself. Malfoy pulled Harry into his arms, both closing their eyes as Harry clung to him desperately, his breathing laboured. "I can't..." Harry choked out. "If he, if he... he's only five, I can't lose him too..."  
  
"You won't. You won't, he'll be fine," murmured Malfoy.  
  
Hermione's throat closed up, and she grabbed Ron's hand, fear and sorrow flooding her as Harry struggled to not break down. Ron squeezed her hand, clearing his throat and wiping at his eyes quickly.  
  
"Ms Granger?" Hermione turned to see a Healer looking apologetic.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You had offered to help in case we needed you for Alec Potter - he's all right," the Healer said swiftly. "His healing's going well. But we're having a bit of trouble with another patient; she's got some odd interaction of spells that look like they might be Ministry-related. Would you mind..."  
  
Hermione hesitated, and Ron touched her shoulder. "Go on," he said. "You know it'll calm your nerves to be able to use your brain for a bit. We're all just waiting here."  
  
Hermione smiled at him gratefully, hugging him tightly before following the Healer into the treatment area.

* * *

Two hours later, she was back in the waiting room, which was now visibly emptier than before. Only a small group of people were still left in the area set aside for families of the stadium collapse victims. Arthur had apparently persuaded Harry to take a short walk outside with him, Ron and George had dozed off in their chairs, and Molly had somehow managed to procure knitting needles and was busily knitting a small sweater. Malfoy was staring out one of the windows, his arms crossed, a thoughtful look on his face, and Fred was contemplating the floor with a blank expression. Hermione sank down next to Molly, and they chatted quietly, Hermione telling her about the case she'd just assisted with, and Molly letting her know that the news on Alec was still good and Ben was still in isolation.  
  
Suddenly Fred got up, joining Malfoy at the window.  
  
"Listen, I need to talk to you," he said curtly. Malfoy looked wary and glanced at Hermione, who left Molly in mid-sentence and hurried towards them, standing next to Malfoy with her arms crossed. Because if Fred was going to take this opportunity, _now_ , to go after Malfoy again, she wasn't going to let it happen without a fight.  
  
Fred stared at her for a long moment, then turned back to Malfoy, apparently deciding not to bother asking her to leave. He cleared his throat.  
  
"Ginny was our favourite sibling, you know," he began abruptly. "George's and mine. She was - she had a hell of a sense of humour, and even though she was the baby, she could put us in our place." He took a deep breath. "When George was cursed, she was all that kept me from going insane. I don't know what I would've done without her." He took another deep breath. "When, erm, when she died, it was fucking unfair, you know? The war was over and somehow we'd all survived, even though all of us had been in the Order. We weren't supposed to have to worry about our safety any more. And then all of a sudden she was gone."  
  
He cleared his throat. "The only thing we could do for her was take care of Alec and Harry for her. We've done our best; we don't understand Alec, but there's not one of us that wouldn't give anything for him. He sort of belongs to all of us. And so does Harry."  
  
Malfoy was looking at him expressionlessly.  
  
"What I'm trying to say is... they're both important to us." He looked away. "And some of us haven't done so well letting go and seeing when we're trying to protect them but we're actually hurting them. And when I say we I mostly mean me." He paused, meeting Malfoy's eyes again. "I'm trying to say I'm sorry, Malfoy."  
  
Malfoy stared at him.  
  
"I've been in your way. I didn't want to accept you. And I'm sorry."  
  
Malfoy nodded cautiously.  
  
"You're - I won't ever like you, and I won't ever forgive you for what you did before. But I won't come between you and Harry." He glanced around the waiting room. "Can't speak for the rest of the wizarding world, of course. If you were hoping to stay anonymous..."  
  
"Harry and I aren't together any more," Malfoy said quietly.  
  
Fred nodded. "I know. But... maybe you should be." He stopped, grimacing at his own words. "Look, if you broke up because things just didn't work out between you, that's... that's too bad. But if you broke up with him because you didn't want publicity, or you didn't want to deal with our family..." Fred paused, shook his head. "Look, you don't understand. Harry's going to be a mess over this. He won't know what to do if Alec's permanently injured. He'll need all the help he can get, and if you're part of that and that helps him, so be it."  
  
Malfoy nodded slowly.  
  
Fred turned to go back to the others, then stopped. "One thing, though." He met Malfoy's eyes seriously. "You ever hurt Alec, or Harry, and the Aurors won't ever be able to find your body. Is that clear?"

* * *

There were only three groups left in their corner of the waiting room. Two men waiting for news of their uncle, a witch with three grown children, waiting for news of her husband, and Alec's family. Hermione rubbed her eyes and stifled a yawn, glad that Malfoy had finally been able to persuade Harry to try to get some sleep. Harry was moving restlessly in his chair and there was a small line between his eyebrows, and it didn't seem a particularly peaceful slumber, but it was at least better than the endless pacing that had preceded it. Malfoy sat beside him, his own eyelids drooping, and Hermione wondered what was going on inside him. What he thought about what Fred had said. What he was thinking about Alec. About Harry.  
  
She turned as the door to the treatment area opened and an exhausted-looking Healer came out.  
  
"Mr. Potter?" she said softly, and somehow Ron and George and Arthur were all instantly awake, as was Harry, standing up unsteadily, his face going pale, unconsciously reaching for Malfoy's hand. Malfoy took it and stood up with him, and they approached the Healer together.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Note from when I first posted this fic:** I keep meaning to post this note, and keep forgetting to.
> 
> The format I chose for this fic had very strict limits. Each chapter had to take place over one day, one day per month, with only one point of view per chapter (3 Draco, 3 Harry, 6 Other Characters), and every chapter had to be 5,000 words. There were a lot of reasons I put those constraints on myself, and I'm glad I did because it's been a highly educational writing experience.
> 
> However. Doing this closed off many possibilties, such as scenes that couldn't happen on the same day but might be pretty important, or missing points of view that could shed a lot of light on what was going on in the background, or in the main character's heads. I really wish, for example, that I'd been able to find some way of showing Draco's interrogation under Veritaserum.
> 
> My point - and I do have one - is that if there's anything I've missed that you might have liked to see, please try to remember what it was. After I'm done posting the story I will make an Ember to Ember DVD-Extras Request post. You can tell me what you missed on that post. Please don't tell me beforehand, because I'm a ginormous twit with the memory and organizational skills of a goldfish, so it'll get promptly lost. I do not guarantee to write every request I get - I've still got one pinch-hit, three WiPs, and two TimeStamp meme requests sitting on my hard drive, all of which I deeply hope to post some day and all of whom periodically poke at me and suck me in. However, I promise to at least read the requests over, and consider them, and give each one a fair try :)

**Author's Note:**

> There is now an "Extra" attached to this chapter. It takes place immediately after the chapter, and can be found at Ember to Ember Time Stamp Requests: Weasley v. Weasley.


End file.
